any suggestions how to handle an e-mail from a son at Thanksgiving basically telling you what a rotten mother?

Question

I HAVE A FEELING THIS IS DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DRIVEN BUT IT IS VERY PAINFUL AFTER 69 YEARS OF SUPPORTING HIM IN ALL PARENTAL WAYS

Answer 1

This is JUST HORRIBLE! There is no excuse for sending an E-Message like that -- ever!

How impersonal ...

Answer 2

If it is driven by an outside source, you should pray that he sees she is trying to controll him. I am 28 and i would never talk that way about my mom, even if she was a bad mother.Tell him you are sorry he feels that way but you still love him. If he would like to talk you will be around. It would be bad to mention the daughter-in-law at all. Tell him you love him. I hope that this helps a little. I am sorry this is going on

Answer 3

I believe that this seems off to you, and that you did your best in supporting your son. Be wise and know that this is not coming from one day. There is some pain that your son is trying to work through and though his approach is less than acceptable for you, you have to keep supporting him in his quest to heal.

The best thing you can do in this situation is ask for his forgiveness......give him a big old wopping FOR REAL apology. The most destructive thing I think that people live with is this desire for an apology....for recognition of their pain. You have to recognize that what you did, bad intention or not has somehow brought him to a place that hurting him. He wants to work it out, and is trying the best he can......hear what he has to say.....and let him know that you didn't realize that your actions had caused him pain, be specific and general.......and let him know you love him so much and you want to be better.......the best thing you could do for your some and his emotional health is suck it up one more time.....die to your pride and help him get through this thing he is harboring.....it's not judgement on you, it's his growing process........perhaps you could have been better at communication...and him too......so that these things didn't sink into the carpet to reappear now.......so talk to him about how you could work on communication...........I just think that this is one of the most important relationships people have................that is the wisdom.

Answer 4

Just let it go. If your son wrote it that was his words and feelings. I have had problems with my daughter in law and when it comes down to it that is his wife and family. If he is 69 he doesn't need to pick one or the other. It is easier to give a little cry and talk to someone (I talk to my sister).I know I did a good job raising him and I am sure you did too

Answer 5

Sounds like sonny is a pain in the butt.

But since he has these feelings you will have to acknowledge his suffering.

you will have accept his feeling as real and maybe the two of you can move forward.

Make sure you tell him you did the best you could and you know you made mistakes and how can we go on for here.

Don't blame the daughter-in -law unless you have been rude to her. Then you will have to be nice to her from now on, because when you are rude to her you hurt your son.

Answer 6

i know how you feel only my daughter told me the day after thanksgiving how much she hates me and always has. some of the things she called me were absolutly discusting.of course she blames me for all her problems in her adult life.i made a mistake when she was a teen and quit being her mother and became her friend,we partied together,went on dates with brothers etc.i thought we were having fun,boy was i wrong.now after 16 years she never lets me forget,she even goes so far as trying to kgetme to fight with her.i have learned to step back and stay out of her life this last fight was very bad,i dont think i will ever forgive her. i will go on with my life as best as i can and i hope you can do the same. god bless you.

Answer 7

Dear sweet Maddy yes it hurts just let him know you are hurt.But you will always love him and always will still be there. he may just be going through a bad time right now . None of us is the perfect parent we also had to learn along the way. Hope this all works out in the future.All you can do is try .

Answer 8

First of all don't blame the daughter- in -law. If he's a man he would not let her influence him on how he feels about his mother. Let him know that no matter how he feels about you that you still love him and if you did make a major mistake bringing him up then let him know that you are truly sorry.

Answer 9

Well stop supportive him he didnt appreciate it as you can see. No man should be weak enough to let a woman turn him against his mother. I am sure you knew this about your son prior to this woman coming into his life. You cant be so quick to blame his wife. He has shared stories with her how you treated him. Have a talk with your son about the email. As you see he wasnt man enough to talk to you in person so you can see he is a weak person. I am sure if it was the wife she would have told him to tell you in person so she could get the satisfaction of seeing your face.

Answer 10

ignore it

u did the best u can for him and it's a shame that he can't see or realize that

he's an adult, he should move on with his life instead of dwelling in the past and writing hurful e-mails to his mom on Thanksgiving

children very rarely appreciate their parents until they become one themselves...

if he seriously can't be more mature then so be it...i wouldn't get upset about it...

though i know, moms hurt...and i am sorry that u had to face that :(

Answer 11

of route, the placement became very incredible, and that i’m not shocked to confirm that you didn’t deal with the placement too nicely contained in the starting up. Getting your son out of the homestead became likely the proper ingredient you may do. you want to have a communication on your husband, and enable him comprehend that if he doesn’t replace, that you’ll ought to invite him to leave because your little ones ought to continually come first – if he comes to a decision to shop the homestead, you and your son can lease and stay as descent people. I believe PFLAG; I’m particular that there are various of people in that crew who've dealt with a similar situation, and ought to likely element you contained in the right route for placing out your new existence in the experience that your husband comes to a decision to proceed to be an animal. i ought to target to allow your son comprehend that you adore him as a lot as you may, because he’s likely very suicidal in the present day. attempt to organise some medical look after both of you, that ought to likely be organised with the help of PFLAG to boot (God, i appreciate that crew). once you're extra comfortable with your sons sexuality, i ought to invite that pal of his over (without your husband) as i have self belief you may owe him an apology, too.