Ok.. My husbands grandma died this afternoon... about 3 hours ago.. and my kids and niece are taking it alot harder than we ever expected.. We dont know what to do..we try talking... that makes it worse.. we give them time to be alone.. then they get hysterical... we try just holding and loveing them and that doesnt help... Please! I dont know what else to do! I need suggestions! Oh, my two girls are 8 and 5 and my niece is 13 (but acts much younger.)
2006-11-26 08:46:32 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I agree, I don't expect them to be over it... but its just that they are so inconsolable.. I have never seen them cry this hard for this long.
2006-11-26 08:53:02 · update #1
OMG. Is it the one I met at the parties? Explain to them that everything dies. She is in heaven now.
Keep her memories alive by looking at photos together, making a scrapbook with her in it etc. Have the older one write a story about her and just remember all the good times you all had with her........
2006-11-27 00:17:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they were close to her then this is very normal. If it is the first experience with death, then this is also normal. My husband died this summer, my daughter was almost 4. She cried a lot, the first week was the worse. Let them cry. If they ask questions, answer them. My daughter and I talk about Daddy a lot. Sometimes it will make her cry, mostly it makes her happy. They are no different then the adults who are trying to understand why. Just be there if they need you and let them cry if they want.
2006-11-26 08:57:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps your children are concerned that you too will die and are afraid to ask .Talk to your children and help them to talk about the death of their great grandmother.The loss they feel is still too new for them.They will probably ask you questions later. Just be there for them and comfort them the best you can.If your children want to attend the wake and the funeral allow them to.Make sure you arrange for someone to take the children out of the service if they find it too difficult.By attending the viewing they will see that their great grandmother looks peaceful and they will accept the loss more readily.Never tell children that the deceased is asleep .
2006-11-26 17:00:26 · answer #3 · answered by gussie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let them grieve. Don't try to comfort them too much or they will learn that getting hysterical has rewards. Let them learn that people we love die, but life goes on and the living are still here.
2006-11-26 11:19:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes you and I time to get over this as well. were they really close to her. Maybe help them make a collage, a card, or a time capsule for grandma. My cousins little boy amazed us @ our grandmother's funeral. He wanted to give grandma something for her in her cascut so that she was not allone. Let them talk about it together maybe let them talk to a children's paster. THey are usually really good about talking to kids. Or do they have a particular adult in common that they all like, a teacher or someone. Sometimes when we forget that they relate differntly. There are books out there about death for kids as well. Hrad one good luck.
2006-11-26 08:52:32 · answer #5 · answered by tera_duke 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/emotions/death/article2.html this site might help you.. i've been where they are.. i was 8 when i lost my dad.... and i never got to say goodbye.. and i now look back.. i would have wanted to go to the Funeral.. it would have given me closer... it really showed me and told me they are gone and it doesn't give me the feeling they still could be out there ..... somewhere.. so let them go to the funeral.. let them say good bye if they cry to much and too loud take them outside.. and try the internet... all different websites can help you... maybe sign them up to talk to someone... let them get there feelings out...
i hope everything goes well.
Elizabeth
2006-11-26 08:58:30 · answer #6 · answered by Tylers Girl. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well its only been 3 hours, and i'm assuming this is there first experience with death! So you cant expect them to just get over it in a snap!!!! Give them time! Let them know that death is a natural part of life and that their grandma is in a better place. Also let them know that she wouldn't want them to be so upset, and although it is natural for them to cry, to remember that their grandmother would want them to be happy.
2006-11-26 08:51:05 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Try to take them somewhere fun with there friends like the movies or to something that will take there minds of the passing for a while.
2006-11-26 08:54:33 · answer #8 · answered by Tom waz here 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Explain to them gret gr mother is in a better place with god have them to look at the clouds and say she is still looking over them hope this will work dear
2006-11-26 09:35:32 · answer #9 · answered by ladyoh 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should try to tell them that she's safe now and not in pain. Also tell them that she loves them and wouldn't want them to be so upset.
2006-11-26 14:57:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋