My boyfriend and I of two years have been kind of rocky the past two weeks. It started with a huge fight about something little (we live together... things come up) we made up, and then this weekend he left for Thanksgiving with his family. The thing is, while he was gone, I had thoughts about moving on, and questioned whether he still loved me as much as I love him. The basis of my thinking (or so I think.. ha) is based on the little things we USED to do for each other and the lack thereof recently. We used to write notes for each other, send happy text messages, ask how each others day was, or just sit and talk about life on a daily basis. Now we barely see each other, and he has little time to devote to little notes or dates (because he is in dental school).
I understand that he is busy, but I guess my Q is: do I have the right to feel like I deserve more? Or that there is a problem? He thinks I always want more and are never satisfied with him, do I always want more?
2006-11-26 08:37:54 · 13 answers · asked by branvandandy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are struggling with issues that almost every relationship deals with. Some people face it and deal with it, others put it off until the relationship just dies or they come to a realization.
How do I know if you always want more? You probably do, most people do. That is your ego talking. Your ego tells you that you need things to be happy, and even when you have those things it convinces you that it is not enough and you need something else. But it never ends. The key is to focus on a giving unconditional love and not a needing love. It is like what JFK said, ask not what your 'partner' can do for you, but what you can do for your 'partner'. You see, a lot of people don't understand the awesome satisfaction from truly loving someone else. This means putting their needs ahead of your own and not needing anything from them. It is hard, because you want them to love you, but expecting things from them is counteractive.
My question to you is, what if you get 'more', what if you have what you are craving? will you be happy then, or will there be something else. I think you should try and re-connect with him. Put some effort in making his day a little easier find something new that makes him happy.
I also think that you feel your relationship or life should be going a certain way. Maybe it is not how you imagined it and therefore you are not satisfied. If that is the case you need to realize the detrement of expectations, life doesn't have to go according to plan and your dreams dont' have to come true. Life is really just a series of relationships, focus on the one you've got and make it grow.
2006-11-26 08:48:07 · answer #1 · answered by tightlies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with you wanting more. It sounds like your relationship is out of the "honeymooners" stage and is getting pretty routine. There are many things you can do to keep the spark there and the feeling you had when you first got together. Two years is a long time to just throw in the towel if you truly love each other. Sounds like there was a break down in communication and the two of you need to sit down and have a heart to heart.
2006-11-26 16:42:42 · answer #2 · answered by rhythmoftheblues 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you have to realize is that after you move in togeather then things change. The notes stop and sometimes the flowers dont come like they use to. You both should regroup and see if you really want to spend the rest of your lives togeather. When your in love you want each other to be happy. No one is being selfish in this you just need to re think thing out.
2006-11-26 16:42:47 · answer #3 · answered by valerie s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its normal to always want more. Why else would we even get out of bed in the morning.
Its also healthy and normal to appreciate and enjoy little things too. Lack of pain. A clear mind. Friendship of any kind. People who care about us. Good food. A glass of water.
Its good to want and try for more, its bad to expect it or feel entitled somehow.
2006-11-26 16:42:01 · answer #4 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will be treated the way you let him treat you. If you are happy with the way things are then good, if not make some changes.
2006-11-26 16:40:26 · answer #5 · answered by nemraC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe u need to liven things a bit more in the relationship.
2006-11-26 16:40:48 · answer #6 · answered by krissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are just one of those women that nobody can make happy, no matter how hard they try.
2006-11-26 16:40:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deal with it...from what you said, you are gonna feel that way every time. Might as well keep one you have housebroken....
2006-11-26 16:40:03 · answer #8 · answered by intoxicatedturtle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's busy, just wait a lil, those things will come back
2006-11-26 16:40:41 · answer #9 · answered by jes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thimg change as you grow older. try to be more considerate.
2006-11-26 19:38:20 · answer #10 · answered by Apricot Brandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋