For those SAHMs who's husbands work alot...?

Question

What are times like when he's home? I have a 3 year old and my husband is around sunday and half of saturday (all of saturday if we're lucky) but we spend a lot of time fighting (between all 3 of us)

I'm trying to get him to do stuff around the house - like child proof- or fix things child broke- and he's lying around wanting to do stuff to relax. Or he goes out with friends and sleeps in the next morning. What are your days like?

oooh, I am really enjoying reading your responses. My husband works hard (he's a carpenter) so i understand he's tired. I try to remind myself that some mom's husband's have died or are single with no help but I just can't help bitching. I took a half a valium today and things were so much nicer. Actually, I was happier, but he was still crabby.

Answer 1

I feel your pain. My husband hasn't taken a day off in three weeks now. When he does take a day off, we fight almost every time because he tends to be a jerk.

Answer 2

I hear you.I love my husband and he is a great dad,but he is gone a lot.He goes to work at 6 am and is not home most days until around 7pm. Which means it is mostly me and the boys. I am not denying the fact that he works hard.He has to as he is the only outside income. That being said I find that i get frustrated when he is home on the week ends. He does not want to do things like help fix the things that have needed fixing all week or really any thing that involves much movement as he has worked hard all week. Now this Would not tick me off so bad if he did not follow ME around the house with the kids making messes in rooms I 've just cleaned.Take today.I get up{he sleeps till 10am} get the boys fed and clean the kitchen, Start on whats left of the laundry, and tidy the boy's room.When he gets up I ask him to watch the boys so I can give the bathroom a good scrub. I go on my marry way thinking they will be fine for a half hour or so. I come out to find they have made french toast and eggs.And totally trashed my just clean kitchen. ARG!!!!!! So yeah I get you 100%

Answer 3

my boyfriend works from 11 am until 8:30 pm
i do all the caring for the baby during the day
then when my b/f come s home he gets the baby down for bed so that i get a break but on the weekends we have Saturday is my free day where i don't do anything but play with the baby myb/f does all the hard stuff. Sunday is my b/f day to sleep in and do whatever he wants and then we have 1 Saturday where we go out to dinner and a movie or shopping and my in-laws watch the baby. that only 1 a month so my boyfriend and i try to split the work up
but to be fair my b/f works and brings in the money so i try not to ask him to do too much during the week but weekends are different i work him like a horse.


my mother in law told me when i first had my son that the women does it all while the man just farts around.
it hard when a husband or boyfriend wont pull their weight wit kids

Answer 4

Yeah, I hear ya. You sound just like me. :)

The only answer I have is to plan family activities. It seems to help if we all go do something fun together outside the house.

It makes sense that they want to relax when they're home from work (I used to, too, when I had a job) but what they don't realize is that we work all week, too. When my husband is home is mostly when I take a break, too. I'll keep up with dishes and stuff but I try to get the deep cleaning done during the week. I get frustrated, though, when he's home for a four day weekend (which happens once per year and happens to be this weekend) and sits on the computer the whole time and doesn't wash a single dish all weekend long. He gets hungry and says to my daughter "Maybe we can get mom to make us something to eat." He does play with my daughter, though. It's frustrating not to have any time off when my husband does get days off. All-in-all I like being a stay-at-home mom but like any job it does have its difficulties.

Answer 5

I hear this a lot from other moms and it really makes me sad. I don't have this problem at all and it baffles me that so many men are actually like this. My husband works 12 hour shifts but he is on for 3 days and the off for 3 days. He has always said that I work all day and he works all day so that when he gets home it is time to team up and tackle everything together. He helps with dinner,dishes and getting the kids ready for bed. If I'm cleaning on a day he happens to be home (I try to do all cleaning when he is at work) he will help. His favorite way to spend time is with me and the kids. We go out and do something or we watch movies and play board games. Me and my husband are both gamers (yes, we're nerds). So, our favorite thing to do together is to get on our computers and play online RPGs. Every so often he'll spend a day off with his friends but he always plans that in advance. It is never last minute. And I'll sometimes go out with my friends and he'll stay with the kids. It is give and take. But my husband has turned down his friends many times because he wants to hang out with the kids. We're best friends so when he isn't working we'd rather be together than with anyone else.

Answer 6

I would like to say a few things...they may sound like I'm passing judgment but I'm not.
It takes a good 13-15 years of marriage for two to become one. This man needs to grow up and except his responsibility as a husband, as a Father and leader of the home. A big part of that is putting others first, namely his family. Friends are second place priority in a Fathers life.
If he is gone all the time because of job and work related things then there needs to be some understanding on your part.
How about this. First, you two need to get in agreement on things in your home. If you work at home then you need down time and time alone for your self, and he needs to understand this. If he works hard and wants to come home and have down time that's okay, If he needs time for himself that's okay. But he must make allowances for you to have the same. That means he's alone with the kids while you get away. We always called it, "ladies nite out."
We all have 24/7...365 days a year and we need to share it together.

Answer 7

I artwork finished time and that i've got a three year previous and a one million year previous. My husband owns his very own corporation and he works 70+ hours a week now and returned. I take my toddlers to all of their medical doctors appointments, in basic terms such as you. i purchase culmination and vegetables from the save, because of the fact my relatives could have adequate money it. I take my toddlers to each and all the places you're taking your toddlers-Museums are open on weekends too. I actively volunteered with the Republican occasion final year. I cook dinner for my relatives each nighttime and that i shop my abode sparkling. and that i artwork finished TIME. BTW-My daughter is 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous and that i'm nonetheless breastfeeding her. I artwork because of the fact i choose to. i substitute into raised to believe that as a woman, you could be a mom and have a occupation. I have no choose to be a SAHM. I had a occupation formerly i substitute right into a mom, and that i observed no reason to supply it up while my toddlers have been born. So I do each thing you do, plus I even have the strain of two careers (one exterior the abode). advice: bypass to college, start up a occupation, and then effectively improve your toddlers (and breastfeed one for over 3 hundred and sixty 5 days). positioned money interior the financial enterprise, develop your savings account, create a will, purchase life coverage, and stay for over 2 years with out debt in any respect-No credit enjoying cards, motor vehicle money, or scientific charges. then you definately would be as solid as ME. I have no difficulty with SAHM-i believe each woman could do what makes them chuffed. I see why some women could choose to stay at abode, whether this is in basic terms not for me. And a brilliant style of the SAHM i've got talked to are astonishing loving women. you at the instant are not.

Answer 8

I'm a SAHM who's husband works 12 hr. shifts plus overtime and its rough. He was the same way. Come home, sleep for too long (longer than I get), then get up to complain about how tired he still is and not want to do anything because its his day off. I tried to explain that I never get days off, who would with 3 boys?? What worked for me was a gallbladder surgery. I was in the hospital for 5 days and he was home doing my job. Things have been MUCH better now that he sees what I do day in and day out. Of course you can't plan hospitalization, so plan a mini vacation and DON'T come home early, call to check in, leave meals prepared or anything. Let him have to figure it all out. That should help some!

Answer 9

I know you are looking for support but I have to throw a different perspective at you. My husband was deployed overseas for the first year of my son's life. He was lucky enough to see him born. A year later came home to a walking talking toddler, now 2. We are an Army family in Germany now and I dont see him ever when it is daylight other than this past Thanksgiving. Very long work hours. You are very lucky to have a husband at home, lazy or not. Give him kisses and tell him how much you love him, deserving or not!

Answer 10

Sounds right, although my husband is gone for 3 weeks at a time then comes home for 1 or 2 weeks in a row. I still have a hard time getting him to do anything around the house. I have to have someone do it because I have 3 boys Im taking care of and Im having a hard pregnancy on top of that. He likes to stay up really late at niight watching tv, then sleep late, or we will have friends come over to the house(he doesnt usually go out with them) and they will stay over late and I know he will be usless the next day. It can get frustrating. I know he works really hard with his job, but things have to get done around here too. Normally I end up doing things myself, but alot of it I cant do now, being pregnant. My dad came to visit me and did in 2 days what it takes my husband to do in 2 weeks. Frustrating, I know.

Answer 11

My husband works extremely long hard days so that I can have the opportunity to stay home with our daughters while they are small. I understand the frustration you are going through, but you must also remember that he probably doesn't have a real great week, either. My husband is very helpful with our children on his days off, but there are times I find myself wanting him to do more when it occurs to me that I would much rather be chasing the rugrats than working his job every day. Be glad you get to stay home with your children. He works hard so you don't have to and there are a lot of women in this world that would love to be able to stay home with their kids like we do ours.