What is the funniest 'spoonerism' you've ever said or heard? - 'chish and fips', 'par cark' etc

Question

One of my friends is a Jehovah's Witness and he took his little boy to the movies. As they were walking through the packed out cinema, he was mortified to hear his little 3 year old shout out 'dad have you finished with you cockporn yet?'

However hard he tried he couldn't make his son say 'popcorn'!!

Answer 1

For a load of spoonerisms go on line and look up The Two Ronnies and find the fork handles sketch. Brilliant. I have just looked for that sketch and found it on Youtube. go see it!!

Answer 2

My dad and I have an awful habit of doing that whenever we see author's names or titles and it's so annoying but often very funny. The name Steven Pinker became Peven Stinker which sounds like a smelly grouch. I'll probably think of more later!

Answer 3

My brother-in-law referred to his daughter's cat as cooking fat whenever he tripped over it.
Rev. Spooner didn't just mix up his words. It is reported that, when leaving from Oxford to London by train, he tipped his wife and kissed the porter.
I don't like cream cakes, so when I was forced to take afternoon tea with my mother and grandmother in a tea-room I would ask for a toasted tea-cake, which my mother always called a 'teasted-toe cake.' And once ordered it for me in a rather 'naice' tea-room. She also sang her version of 'While Shepherds' in her strident soprano at Midnight Mass one Christmas Eve: 'While shepherds washed their socks by night, and laid them on the ground.' I also remember 'Land of soapy water.'

My father, an Anglican priest, let the organist choose the hymns.
In the old Ancient and Modern Hymnbook he dreaded hymn nr. 222. To my knowledge he never got it right. 'We will now sing hymn number two hundred and twenty two, the two hundred and twenty tooth hymn' was one of his better efforts. The first line was 'Ten thousand times ten thousand'. What did he say? 'Ten tousand times ten tousand.'

Answer 4

A movie company were making a film at the side of my house....
Two young people were walking along the lane, and the male's dialogue was "it's jus a figure of speach" which took several takes. My daughter who was 15 at the time, with a bit of jelousy, said. I can do that!!!
* It's just a spigger of feach*

Answer 5

My favourite is Ladels and Jellyspoons for Ladies & Gentleman.

A spoonerism is a play on words in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched (see metathesis), named after the Reverend William Archibald Spooner (1844–1930), Warden of New College, Oxford, who was notoriously prone to this tendency.

While spoonerisms are commonly heard as slips of the tongue (sometimes spoonerised as tips of the slung), they are considered a form of pun when used purposely as a play on words.
Many of the quotations attributed to Spooner are apocryphal - The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations (3rd edition, 1979) only lists one substantiated Spoonerism - "The weight of rages will press hard upon the employer".

Some of the more famous quotations attributed to Spooner include "The Lord is a shoving leopard," "It is kisstomary to cuss the bride," and "Mardon me padam, this pie is occupewed. Can I sew you to another sheet?." (Pardon me, madam, this pew is occupied. Can I show you to another seat?).
Other gaffes include his angry speech to a student, "You have hissed all my mystery lectures, and were caught fighting a liar in the quad. Having tasted two worms, you will leave by the next town drain" (intending to say "missed all my history lectures", "lighting a fire", "wasted two terms", and "down train", respectively). He supposedly remarked to one lady, during a college reception, "You'll soon be had, as a matter of course", when he meant to say "Mad as a Hatter, of course". Others include "Let us raise our glasses to the queer old Dean", "We'll have the hags flung out", "a half-warmed fish" and "Is the bean dizzy?" Also there is "go and shake a tower."

Answer 6

Kings Bollege Baimbridge

Answer 7

A presenter on the radio wastalking about fox-hunting. He meant to say that someone had been out with a West Kent Hunt. Instead he referred to a west end c***

Answer 8

Par Cool

Answer 9

Cucking Funt
Is the one I use when I'm really pissed off with some-one and It always seems to make people laugh.
It just seems a little easier on the ear, and after all... I'm a lady don't you know!

Answer 10

I once put in a request at the pub for Deil Niamond