My b/f was gonna propose to me b4 but then I got the phone call about my g-pa dying. It has been about a month and now I find out I am pregnant with his kid. He's gonna propose today, his friend told my friend. We are in love and he knows about the baby and says it should bring us closer together. We are 19. He'll be 20 next month. My parents don't know about ne of it. We have been going out for 4 years today.
My friend is putting doubt in my mind. Here are my questions:
Would he have stayed if he didn't care??
Can this work?? Will the marriage last??
Will this ruin my entire life or make it better??
Will my parents want to disown me??
Why am I nervous and he's ok with it??
Please Answer. Thanx!!
2006-11-26 08:32:40 · 6 answers · asked by Hott Gymnast 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
"My friend is putting doubt in my mind."
Your friend isn't putting doubts in your mind, YOU are. Your friend is probably touching on simple facts, and you're turning them in to doubts. If your friend was a true friend, they would be a little more supportive and a lot less cynacle.
"Would he have stayed if he didn't care??"
It all depends on what kind of guy he is. You're pregnant with his child now. Some guys feel like they need to "do the right thing" by staying in the relationship, just because there is a baby involved. It's not right or wrong, it just is. I know people who have been married for 20 years, who only stayed together because of the baby. They're now divorced, and they're lives have changed, and years have been lost. It's on about perspective. You can stay in the relationship, work it out, make the best out of life, or you can walk away from it all and start over, most likely..by yourself.
"Can this work?? Will the marriage last??"
Again, the only way it's going to work is if it is what you BOTH want. If you're staying together out of an obligation, chances are, no..it won't work. If you're staying together because you want to be together anyway,... it could very possibly work, and for many years to come.
"Will this ruin my entire life or make it better??"
If you view bringing a child in to the world "ruining your life" Honey- I would serious consider giving that child up for adoption. Hand it over to a set of parents who are truly wanting a child in their lives, to raise and to love and cherish as their own. If you resent this child now, you will resent the child for it's entire life, and how unfair would that be.
"Will my parents want to disown me??"
The child will become your parents grand-child. I seriously doubt they will disown you. If anything, they should support you and help you out where you need it most.
"Why am I nervous and he's ok with it??"
You're nervous because you're 19 and starting a family. You're a mere child yourself, and will be raising one. You haven't had a chance to find out what life is about, or grow, experience the world. Now, you will have to do it while raising a child. It's a scary process. If he's okay with it all, then you're ahead of the game. Communicate with him, talk about your feelings, let him know what's going on in your head. Work together on making this work ..IF it's what you truly want.
2006-11-26 08:47:15 · answer #1 · answered by restless_nymph 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for one if he didn't care he would be gone, he loves you but is shy about telling you, some guys are like that. Yes it can work because if both of you love each other and respect each other and can communicate hey that's half the battle. If both of you are willing to try to make it grow and cherish your relationship, yes it will work. I have a riend that got married when they were both 20 and they have gone thru some rough times but it's been 32 yrs and they are going strong. It doesn't matter what ever happens in your life it never ruins it not unless you let it. SO get tough and enjoy life and make it happen and your parents really shouldn't say nothing because you are having a child after you got out of school and are old enough. They might surprise you and get happy they will become grandparents. If they disown you they will disown their grandchild, too. I don't think so. Because you worry more than he does, it's normal because it's your parents, your body and your morning sickness not his. But all you have to remember is life is there and then it goes on with or without you. Maybe your aprents might disown you till the baby is born then they will forget everything. So good luck and have a wonderful life.
2006-11-26 08:47:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Settle down Petal. Sound like he loves you and the baby. No one can answer if it will work, only you two can MAKE it work. How can having a family ever ruin your life?? Having your own family is a wonderous thing. DON'T listen to your friend. Listen to yourself. You know what you really want to do. If you love him and you want to marry him, then do it. Your parents will accept it. Talk to them with your b/f there and explain the situation. You have been together for 4 years now. I have a feeling that you will be together for a lot more yet. GOOD LUCK and CONGRATUALTIONS!!!
2006-11-26 08:40:23 · answer #3 · answered by k1e9r6r3y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your asking
Would he have stayed if he didn't care?? to this no
Can this work?? Will the marriage last?? to this maybe
Will this ruin my entire life or make it better?? to this hard to tell
Will my parents want to disown me?? to this maybe i don't think so but i don't know your Parents so maybe
Why am I nervous and he's ok with it?? and to this i don't know
2006-11-26 08:38:41 · answer #4 · answered by csm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're nervous, and he's fine--it most likely means he really appriciates/cares about you.
The other questions are unable to be answered. If your parent have met him, and like him--then they might be fine with you getting marries. Good luck!
2006-11-26 08:36:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love him marry him if not then don't because it won't last but your relationship will change having kids will change alot of things. your parents may be mad but they will get over it
2006-11-26 08:39:02 · answer #6 · answered by thomas h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋