Girlfriend says we're moving too fast?

Question

Hey,

My girlfriend says we're moving too fast ( I mentioned that I would like to get engaged to her and move in together - After we've been together for more then 1 yr). We've been seeing each other for 5 mths now. We told each other we love each other. She was happy that I wanted to get engaged and live with her. Last week everything was fine but a few days later this happened. She won't answer my calls and wrote an email telling me she considers me one of her best friends and she can't bare to talk to me about this. I left a msg. on her ans. mchn. telling her I'll give her some space, I care deeply for her, I consider her one of my best friends, and that I want to talk this through. No ans. (been 3 days). My friend was telling me to wait it out and let her call but I don't think she can since she fears confrontations. She was the one who originally pressured me into a gf-bf relationship and then told me she wanted to get married. What's going on and what should I do?

Answer 1

find somebody else

Answer 2

Five months? What's the rush? She's right, you're moving too fast. What's wrong with dating a lot longer and coming to know more of each other? Or, are you concerned that you have to have her 'close the deal' and make a decision at 5 mos. or l yr. so she doesn't have the time and chance to see what you're really about? You might be a nice enough guy, and maybe the 'right' guy for her...but whatever happened to pursuing a woman, courtship, allowing the time to be around each other long enough to see how you two relate in comfort and away from the early months "I'm just crazy about you" feelings have wonderfully settled. In my dating experience I've seen this happen alot. When I see this happening my first thought is "what is he so insecure about that he can't be patient", that he is not a guy of maturity and loving patience. How come when a woman says no to sex...the guy knows to back off. Yet, when a woman says no to living together...the guy tries to make her feel bad? Hmmmmm. could it be that he wants to not have to pursue her anymore and have all the sex he wants while living together? Enjoy the courtship and let the relationship flow as it does to marriage (two or three years from now) or simply to a precious experience on your path.

Answer 3

5 months is not closely enough time to understand you want to live your life with someone. From what you say she's not so much into this engagement idea after all. Indeed when a girlfriend starts saying "you're my best friend" it most often means "i've found out someone else" or "i want to stop this relationship, but i don't know how to do it without hurting you". If you really love her, insist to talk to her and see what she has to tell you. Listen to her carefully and then ask your heart what to do. There's no right and wrong answer in love

Answer 4

Even though she is the one who started it all she may be scared of the fact that it is actually happening. She might be scared to really truely love someone. If she has been hurt by people she's loved in the past, then she may not want that again and makes sure that it doesn't happen again. I know I've been through it. She may need some time, but try to write her a letter explaining how you feel and tell her that you really care about her and would not hurt her if your life was in danger-if that's how you feel. Writing her may help her out a lot because then she may see that you really do care because you took the time out of your day to spend time telling her hwo you really feel.

Answer 5

get ahold of her drop the whole engagement thing and just move in with her. no point in rushing into marriage. dont wait for her to call you call her but dont stalk her either. call her once a day for a week if she dont call you back in that time then you need to move on cause that means she dumped you without telling you you were being dumped. when you call say nice things to her and dont tell her that you dont want to get engaged until you are face to face with her. then you guys move into gether and see how it works and if everything works out in 5 years you can get married
if you run out of things to say when you call and get the machine sing her a love song or say something funny
make sure she knows its you though

Answer 6

You're making future plans which seems to be freaking her out. How do you know how you're going to feel in 7 months? Just live day to day. If she really cares for you then she will contact you. Leave her alone for awhile and then call. If she is still unresponsive, then move on.

Answer 7

If she started it all, she probably wants to do it. Maybe she is just taking some time to make sure it is the right decision. I would give her time and just leave her alone for a little bit. See what she decides. Good luck.

Answer 8

Half of her body is telling she wants to do stuff with you and the other half is telling her she needs to be responsible. Honestly just talk to her about how far she wants to go and the next time you guys start doing things before you go further than what she said ask her if she wants to keep going.

Answer 9

Either she's afraid of commitment or you really are moving too fast.If you think the past year has gone by fast, then you are moving too fast.She might be thinking, "We just got together and he wants to move in?!"Don't rush it.Let her figure out what she wants to do and be fine with it.

Answer 10

She is probably having some serious PMS just let her be by herself and let her come back to you.

Answer 11

just give her some time she is probably thinking about it and wait for her to call