when should you use "whom" as opposed to "who", what's the rule??

Answer 1

"Who" is nomnitive, "Whom" is objective.

You are speaking to whom" or "Who said yes?"

In today's usage, the "whom" is a dying word, for most people do not use it when they should. It is easier to adjust the rules than teach everyone a word's use. No big deal either way.

Answer 2

Check out the Merriam-Webster online dictionary -- I copied these entries below.

My advice is to learn the terminology and work through these definitions so that you get an understanding of what you are working with, i.e., language as a whole.

who
Function: pronoun
1 : what or which person or persons -- used as an interrogative -- used by speakers on all educational levels and by many reputable writers, though disapproved by some grammarians, as the object of a verb or a following preposition
2 : the person or persons that : WHOEVER
3 -- used as a function word to introduce a relative clause; used especially in reference to persons but also in reference to groups or to animals or to inanimate objects especially with the implication that the reference is really to a person -- used by speakers on all educational levels and by many reputable writers, though disapproved by some grammarians, as the object of a verb or a following preposition
usage see WHOM, THAT

whom
Function: pronoun

objective case of WHO -- used as an interrogative or relative; used as object of a verb or a preceding preposition or less frequently as the object of a following preposition though now often considered stilted especially as an interrogative and especially in oral use -- occasionally used as predicate nominative with a copulative verb or as subject of a verb especially in the vicinity of a preposition or a verb of which it might mistakenly be considered the object

Answer 3

this about that:
who or whom?


Whom has fallen into disuse in everyday speech, with who taking its place, especially in British English. Do you remember whom you saw? is more usually expressed as Do you remember who you saw?, and whom is omitted when it is associated with a preposition: the man I was talking to rather than the man to whom I was talking. However, in formal contexts, whom is still preferred by careful writers. Note that whom is incorrect in sentences such as The woman who we thought was dead is still alive: who is the subject of was, not the object of thought (We thought that she was dead...).

Answer 4

Who is the subject and whom is the object of a preposition.

Answer 5

It's not surprisng that no-one's answered this yet- very few know the rule. Ok, I've read a lot and only seen it articulated once and it was i a book by the awesome P.G. Woodhouse. [Awesome books btw]. Anyhows he said that it's who when we know them and whom when we don't.

And I have definitely heard it used as goldwing describes.

Answer 6

if you can substitute he for who----use who
he(who) bought the cake?

if you can substitute him for whom---use whom
With (him/whom) are you going to the movies with?
I am going with HIM. whom is correct