It really hurts my feelings.They say "You are useless" or "You're not worth ****" to me all the time. I don't know what to do. I am 17 and I live with my parents, my 5 yrs. old brother and my grandparants. I've had enough. What should I do??
2006-11-26 06:39:21 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Use them for your own purpose. Call them useless if you fail to do so
2006-11-26 06:41:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Well, if you really are useless, find a use for yourself. Otherwise, try this perspective: It has been said that families are a way of teaching you to learn how to deal with some of the more unpleasant aspects of life. You are not allowed to choose your family as you would your friends, they're built-in whether you like them or not. This helps you to learn how to deal with people you would not otherwise associate with if it were up to you. This is good practice for survival in a society where not everybody has your best interests at heart. If it really hurts you, and it sounds like it does, try to communicate your feelings calmly. If they just don't get it, grin and bear it and ignore it like you would some a**hole on the street. The most important thing is whether you feel useless yourself, not what someone else thinks about you, even family.
Best of Luck, Buffalo
2006-11-26 07:00:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You live in a home that has some serious issues. First of all, its too crowded. You have parents AND grandparents, which is bound to cause conflicts of discipline for you and your little brother.
Second of all, there is a cycle of abusiveness that is being transferred to your brother and you. This might be from either substance, or sexual abuse, but whatever it is, it will affect you two for the rest of your lives, unless both of you get some help.
I am attaching a website that has some information you may find helpful. There are also contact addresses, as I recommend you reaching out for help. Please get out of there if you can and good luck.
2006-11-26 06:53:55 · answer #3 · answered by Jeff W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not up to you to be worth anything to anyone but yourself. Always be the best you can be for yourself and it wont matter what anyone else says or thinks. Unless you have a better place to live or can work on finding a better place to live, dont just up and leave and end up homeless or in a worse place. Stay cool until you can get away. Also remember that your living with your family and they might not be so happy either maybe for a bunch of reasons, maybe you could try to understand why they are so down on you and try to figure out a way to stop the hateing rather than running or fighting them,.
2006-11-26 06:47:08 · answer #4 · answered by james l 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's actually very easy. Next time someone says this to you look them in the eye and calmly and softly say "Do you know when you say those words to me they hurt me terribly?" and then walk away. Make sure they know they're hurting you. If they don't respond, or don't care, then start thinking hard about what you want to do with your life after high school. Find a career path you're interested in and start studying so you can reach that goal. You'll be out on your own soon and able to create a more loving world for yourself. And, remember the hurt so you never, ever, speak to someone that way yourself.
2006-11-26 06:42:22 · answer #5 · answered by mJc 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Seems a bit rough, I think finding your own income and place to live might need to be a priority for you.
Do they pick on a certain aspect? Eg: are you not good with doing your share of household chores or helping out in general?
It still doesn't make it easier for you, I am just wondering if there is something you could do in the meantime to "give them less to moan about" while you sort of your independence.
2006-11-26 06:43:27 · answer #6 · answered by Mark T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry that sucks.
you should tell your parents that you love them the next time they call you useless. the looks on their faces might make you laugh.
i moved out of my parents house when i was 17 because i was a p.o.s. oxy junkie and i couldn't handle my parents bs. i just wanted to party and be free.
i am 20 almost 21 and i can tell you that much of what you are going through is normal separation mentality of the late teens.
it will pass.
dont be like me, work to keep your parents on your side.
i have had to spend sooo much time trying to make up for all of the pain and anxiety that i caused my family. being independent is good, but being ALONE sucks.
good luck sweetie you'll figure it out.
2006-11-26 06:49:07 · answer #7 · answered by spoonman 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Parents need to tell you if something is wrong, but not like that. Go to a school counselor or your pastor, rabbi or priest. In the meantime remind yourself that you are not worthless, just a teenage girl that has more to learn.
2006-11-26 06:47:49 · answer #8 · answered by whatshisface 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finish school, go to college, get into the workforce and become successful in your chosen field and show them that your human worth is very high indeed.
2006-11-26 06:44:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't know your background, or theirs. If it is JUST the name-calling, graduate high school, get a job and move out! If there are other issues, such as drug or alcholism within your family then....graduate high school, get a job and move out....if there is neglect and abuse report it. You don't want your 5yr old brother hurt either.
2006-11-26 06:43:18 · answer #10 · answered by isingmore 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get off your butt and start doing things - clean the house without being asked , get a job , help the neighbors , do something for your grandparents. Make it so they can't call you useless !!!!!
2006-11-26 06:42:50 · answer #11 · answered by DEADGONE 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋