It really hurts. I cry when I'm alone; if I did it around her, she would just make some hurtful comment. We use to have such a close bond. I feel like she would be happier if I were just gone.I miss my child.
2006-11-26 06:07:20 · 31 answers · asked by Bev M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Stop doing IT ALL FOR HER. She is spoiled rotten and takes you for granted. Take some privileges away from her. Have her start doing her own laundry, cleaning up after herself, and some of the housework. If you are giving her an allowance, make her earn it. If she doesn`t help you at home, she gets to stay home on the weekends. Trust me, she will change if she wants the privileges to return. I have 3 daughters, and we understand one another perfectly. Give no respect, get no respect.
2006-11-26 06:09:12 · answer #1 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
That's just the problem hun, she's not a child anymore. your still treating her like one and she wants to be treated like an adult. I don't care what the law says, she doesn't see herself as a child anymore. Perception is reality. You need to try to start treating her like an adult .....somewhat. Do some of the things with her you would do with your friends....no not THAT stuff!!! lol But do more hanging out than chaperoning, or monitoring. Do you understand what I mean? Become friends, but when the time comes you still have to be the mom. But if you try too hard to force or influence her decisions or the things she does, she's gonna fight back. She gonna make mistakes and we ALL get hurt in relationships. You don't want your kids to go through that kind of pain, but there isn't alot you can do to stop it, but you will need to be there when she needs someone to talk to and hold her. She won't let you do that if she mad at you and hurt from someone else, she'll find someone else to console her. In that condition, she'll be vulnerable and taken advantage of again. Try to be there for her, but without being there..constantly....does this make sense? I know she doesn't hate you but needs her space. Even though you did nothing wrong, try apologizing just to get her back into your fold. Just to get her listening to you again, then treat her like a close friend and just watch how things unroll from there. Good luck hun, I hope this helps you.
2006-11-26 06:21:20 · answer #2 · answered by flashpro 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. Hopefully it's just a faze. I'm 19 and I remember my mom and I arguing and I'm sure she felt the same way. She doesn't hate you, she's just trying to be independent and is seperating her child-self from her adult-self.
You should try to make a date for you and her to spend together and get some quality time in to talk, even if it's just going out for lunch. This is a time in her life where she needs you the most, believe it or not. Teenagers make the mistake of going to their friends for guidance instead of their parents. Let her know you are her best friend, and she probably feels the same way.
My mom and I have a wonderful relationship. And if all else fails, she's still your kid and is never to old to get an a s s whoopin'...lol... ;) good luck.
2006-11-26 06:13:19 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
teenagers go threw a time,that most are very mouthy,,and they hurt us.I even had the same problem for my son.I promise you some day she will realize all the stuff you have done for her.I was a mom taking care my children alone.They know they can get away, running all over us.I got so up set,i had him live with his grandmother for awhile.He didn't get everything there,and had to watch how he talks.Now he is 24,and I have talk a lot ,how helpless i felt.i told him I love him,and that's why I did this.We are very close now. I say, just do what you have to,even if it hurts you.Do it for your daughter,be tough.if it means punish her,do it. I don't mean you need to move her out,That was only because I couldn't be strong enough.just remember to tell her you are doing this ,because you care for her ,and love her.
2006-11-26 06:26:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is just growing up. Sad, but true. I'm 17 and my journey through "hell land" is just starting. Being a teenage girl isn't great. There's so much pressure on us. And we have no idea how to deal with our parents. Give her some space. Don't give her free will, because that will cause her to be reckless. But some space, privacy, respect will do her good. Set limits and let her know what those limits are. I'm just starting to realize what great people my parents are again.. Don't worry. It'll pass.
2006-11-26 06:11:19 · answer #5 · answered by mlove1307 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Deja vu.....You're in the same mess I got myself into w/ my daughter.....Then, unfortunately for her, I got smart.
1. Stop trying to be her friend, you're not her friend, you're her MOTHER. She can pick her friends - and whether she likes it or not- she's stuck w/ you.
2. It's not your job to try to get along w/ her. It's her job to figure out how to get along w/ you. You are her GUIDE, not her sucker.
3. If your best friend came into your house and treated you like she is, what would you do? Why are you taking this crap from HER?
4. You say you do it all for her. Why? In two years she can leave home. When and where is she going to learn how to be self-sufficient?
Check out the link below:
I'm not saying you should join Tough Love, just look over the site and see if it can help you set some limits for both of you.
And above all- keep in mind- you're both likely to survive this.
2006-11-26 08:57:01 · answer #6 · answered by justannae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being 16, I know relationships with parents can get kind of rocky. To me, it sounds like your daughter wants some more space. Let her make her own mistakes. If you leave her alone more often and stop doing so much for her, she'll realize how she misses out on not having you around. You sound like a great mom, so don't worry. If she's smart, she'll come around. :)
2006-11-26 06:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you honestly think she hates you? I'm a teenager myself and my dad and i fight terribly all the time. I suppose im rather disrespectful alot. But I surely dont hate my dad. Maybe you and your daughter need to get better informed about the way both of you feel. I get really mad at my dad but I'll never stop loving him. And i doubt your daughter will either. What i usually want is space when my dad and i are pi.ssed off. try giving her a little space and then loving on her. Best of luck.
2006-11-26 06:12:43 · answer #8 · answered by Taylor 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Usually 16 year old daughters hate everybody. Don't feel singled out. They say you derive an immense lot of pleasure from your children well I've got a 35 year old daughter and I'm still waiting.
2006-11-26 06:12:00 · answer #9 · answered by burtbb0912 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey come on don't feel so upset...... n i'm sorry for the previous whihc a person sent u .don't pay any heat to such stupidities ok.........
some day u sit n ask ure daughter n confront her straight..why is she doing all this ?whats her problem with u???ure her parent....ure not any **** that she cud disrespect u like that.....tell her tht the person who doesn't respect his/her parnts is not asked anywhere....tell ur worth on ur own...
be a lil emotional in ur talks so tht she mite getr a lil melted...dont cry ..but use bold n serious sentences n cross questions to her behaviour so tht she mite herself feel bound to answer those questions...n feel herself gulity..don't wrry its just tht God is punishing u for some of ur bad deeds...soon everything will get fine....GOd bless u n ure daughter!!!
2006-11-26 06:14:30 · answer #10 · answered by kawal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋