I have been seeing a man for a year, mostly as friends within an extended group but it has become romantic and sexual for the past three months. When we first met we had a 'mildly' sexual relationship, without actually crossing any boundaries, then he told me he lived with a girlfriend so I backed off for nine months and we were simply friends, although there was always the underlying feeling that things were not resolved or over. For the past three months he has declared his intentions to sort out his life with his parner, financially, (and very generously to her benefit) as he feels this is only fair and right. The dilemma is that this will take him about three months as contracts have to be paid etc (boring but believe me totally genuine timescales). He has asked me to wait for him, told me he is in love with me and wants to be with me, however, for the past two weeks he has not contacted me Why the silence? Should I be worried has he changed his mind or should I leave it ?
2006-11-26 06:03:39 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
as much as your intellect tells you he is leading you on, your body and hear tell you to wait Honestly- you could move on, but that nagging feeling in your heart and mind will keep you involved. If you feel positive that you can set a boundary and keep it, such as, no contact because this is draining and bad for you- than do it. Otherwise, don't set a boundary you can't keep. Sounds like you have expectations of him that he may not know- like how often to talk or contact each other? Trust me, of all the relationships like this that don't feel good long term (just instant gratificationyyy), they end bad.
2006-11-26 06:07:18 · answer #1 · answered by soberlunatic 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Where does he live ? Sounds exactly like the person I have been seeing, I'd known him since school , so nearly 16 years, we started off as friends at the beginning of the year and it developed into telling each other we loved each other, he was just splitting with his girlfriend and selling the place they shared which is still not sold, he says that he wanted to be with me also and he hasn't been in touch for over a week and the phone I have for him is off. My advice is leave it, try and forget about him, it's hard but try it, i know exactly how you are feeling though. Chin up
2006-11-26 06:13:53 · answer #2 · answered by peach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems very strange that he has suddenly gone quiet considering that he was declaring his undying love a while ago. It depends on how you feel about him, if you want to be with him ring him and find out what is going on, and say that he can't say that he wants to be with you and then go silent as that just isn't fair. Tell him that you want some reassurance that he is going to make the commitment to you, otherwise lets call things quits.
The bottom line is you need to know where you stand and what his plans are, so that you can make a decision about where things should go from here
2006-11-26 06:12:48 · answer #3 · answered by Baps . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this question: ''Do I want a boy friend/husband who cheats?'' YES, I said CHEATS. This guy is a big time player...he is playing you and his other girl friend, as well. He, also, as all cheaters, is a lier. At the beginning of your relationship, you did not know that he had a girl friend, already...thus, he is a lier and a cheater, which makes him a Player. Ask yourself, another question, now, ''Can I wait for him to be faithful to me, and only me?'' Take my advice and kick this Player to the curb,otherwise, he will only hurt you a, lot more, later! I am so sorry that you have to go through this, but it would be better to end things now, instead of him cheating on you, with some other girl, later. Once a Player, always a player.
2006-11-26 06:15:17 · answer #4 · answered by Dee A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry, sounds very hard to deal with. You should be to do what ever you want while he sorts out his previous relationship. You can't continue to see someone who is seeing you "on the side" because you will always feel like second best. Once he has moved out and cut off contact with the previous gf, you can see if you still have the same feeling for each other.
Don't wait completely--have some fun yourself, and date other people if you meet them. Good luck!
2006-11-26 06:08:15 · answer #5 · answered by deepseaofblankets 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have waited this long. Give him a bit longer. Maybe the seperation has taken its toll on him!! He might need a bit of space. Don't stop trying to talk to him tho as he may start to feel what you are feeling. But don't call him everyday or he will be put off. Call on him a maybe 2 times in the week. Ask if he is ok and if he needs to talk to call you!!
Breaking up with someone is not easy and it takes time emotionally too!!
2006-11-26 06:09:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why didn't he tell you in the first place that he already had a partner. Why wasn't he honest about that?? I don't believe that he truly wants 2 be with you. You said that he hasn't contacted you in 2 weeks. What is that?? I don't know what his intentions are but something is definitely strange. So he was bqasically cheating on his partner with you. I f he can do that to her, he can do it to you. Do you really want someone like that?
2006-11-26 06:14:08 · answer #7 · answered by natasha m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should you put your life on hold just because he can't keep his in order? Why should you be kept hanging by a thread. He hasn't been honest with you from the start. He should have told you from the beginning that he was living with someone, not after you've started something sexual. Forget about him, move on, find someone else.
2006-11-26 06:11:27 · answer #8 · answered by johnnymifo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably busy with everything he's doing right now.....you should just give him a little more time then after the three months go by, find out what's really going on between you two.
2006-11-26 06:08:51 · answer #9 · answered by Smile :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why put yourself through all this stress. do you believe you cant find no one else? all he did was dumped you in a nice way and it seems he is controlling things. He is going to see if its going to work out with his girlfriend and if it doesnt then he always has you to come back to you. does this sound like someone who loves you or someone you could love?
2006-11-26 06:08:54 · answer #10 · answered by Olga 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋