mid life crisis?

Question

Is there a fix for a midlife crisis and how do i know im haveing one..had a heartatack in aug of this year..and every thing for me is changing fast.i want new looks better things and just alitlle peace.in my heart..what do i do with this terrible felling of lonelyness...i am married and have children but they are all feeling my wierdness...what do i do...please help this old fart..im 43 and hate feeling this way...

Answer 1

the heart attack was a big wake up call for you,like being slapped in the kisser with a dead mackeral....but more painful.you are now trying to see how "immortal" you can be without impinging on the next few decades of your mortality.you are looking at things in an entirely new way than before,and seeing things you just never took the time to notice before.The lonliness is understandable...only YOU experienced this terrifying event,so you need a supportive group of ppl who have lived thru your experience themselves.why wouldn't you feel weird?But you got a wake up call many ppl don't get...now you look at your kids and thank god you can throw your arms around them and still tell them you love them.You got a second chance,buddy,time is precious,live each minute,savour life as though it were a fabulous wine,don't gulp it down and be sick....sip elegantly at it....savour each precious drop.Peace!:)

Answer 2

About the heart attack. Afterwards many people enter a type of "depression" which is perfectly normal and too be expected. It can last for a short time or a longer time and you may or may not require medication to help you in the short term. This could account for some of your feelings.

Of course there are other factors involved and I guess that is why you are wondering if you are in mid life crisis. There is nothing wrong in wanting a change of pace or lifestyle, you have had a wake up call and are responding to it.

In the last few years several of my male friends have bought Harley's and we joke that they are in mid life crisis. Are they? Or is this just a time in their lives when they can afford the bikes? Some have found younger partners and again I wonder if they are looking for something to fulfil themselves at a time in their lives when they feel something monumentally different within themselves. What ever the answer is there is no quick fix for it.

You have the opportunity to explore and question what is working in your life and what you want to change. Be honest with yourself and the weirdness will turn into something more concrete.

Take care of your self in all ways.

Answer 3

Hey! If you are an "old fart" does that mean that I, at 41, am headed toward "fartyness" too? I think this world is a hard place. I think that we grow up thinking that we somehow will eventually reach a point where we are "grown up" and guess what. You don't! I am finding that years fly by in seconds, and I still feel about 28 or 30. And I am finding that 20-ish year olds who look at me (or don't look at me--nothing is more invisible than an overweight 41-yr-old woman to a bunch of 20-yr-olds) see someone that I am NOT on the inside. I keep wanting to go up to younger women and say, "just you wait and see how fast YOU get here!". I am a happy, fun person. I am happily married, but I hate my husband's job, am starting to question our choices about our lifestyle, etc., and my babies are growing up in a flash. Our society REVERES youth, and it's really sick. The wisdom one achieves from living is so awesome, but my looks are shot to ****. Am I having a midlife crisis, too? I don't know, I just think that life is hard, and complicated, and very lonely when you are surrounded by people who don't get how you feel.
I also know that having health problems can lead to depression--it is a viscious cycle. One thing you might consider is talking w/a dr. about antidepressants--especially after a heart attack (very life-changing and scary, I am sure).
You are not alone in your feeling of weirdness, anyway, that is what I am leading up to! Good luck--I will say some prayers for you (even though you are a complete stranger)!

Answer 4

Your'e not an old fart 43 is young. Why don't you look in the yellow pages or your newspaper or net for a mens group in your area, you might find that if you can talk about your feelings with other men who feel the same it might help. Also after a heart attack it's a well known fact that some people go through anger issues. Also a heart attack is scary and you could be looking at your life because you want to improve. Try walking everyday for a good 20 minutes, and please tell your cardiologist that your going through this Also be honest with your wife and tell her your feeling lonely, a heart attack is a terrifying thing and you need to make yourself healthier, if you smoke quit, eat healthy foods and be open about your feelings it's quite normal. Your 43 midlife crisis usually come in your 50's. Good luck my heart goes out to you and your family. Try a mens group.

Answer 5

Well, I'm a woman, 41. I can empathize with you. Though i had no health issues, I felt a keen sense of loss when I turned 40. I had been married since I was 21 and had three children, but something was missing and I could not figure out what it was.

Not until I left my husband (for other reasons) and moved away did I learn what it was. I had life dreams and I felt as though my life was slipping by so quickly and I was never going to have my dreams come true. No great romance, no travel, no one last shot at being young, etc.

I have managed now to find myself. I am in a lovely relationship with a man whom I adore. My children are nearby and I travel when I want to. I have all new hobbies and a new job. I do now finally feel complete and at peace. I have worked on myself and I am enjoying my new look. I will undergo plastic surgery (tummy tuck and breast augmentation) in January to finish my plan.

I feel like now I am meeting my potential and the responsibilities of my old life are no longer holding me back. Selfish? I don't think so. I think these changes have saved my sanity. I am finally peaceful in myself.

Good luck and God bless.

Answer 6

You're very lucky that you're able to still wake up each morning. You have been spared. U feel this way 'cause something horrific happened to just u...in your family no-one can truly understand..so in a sense they are watching u from the side lines. Talk, talk, talk.. to others that have gone through what you have....and wanting the new looks, and better things... I say go for it.. you're a young buck... shine up those horns....lol Good luck with the rest of your life :)

Answer 7

Life is about changes. Don't be afraid and get yourself into counseling- maybe a group for men like yourself that can share experiences. Sometimes just knowing that someone else shares your feelings of exile is enough to help you get past it. I am so happy that you came through the heart scare. With help you can get through this mid life hurdle too - I am sure of it. Don't give up. Best of luck to you and your family.

Answer 8

Become a Vegetarian or better yet a vegan.
Exercise everyday!
Exercise and play with your kids.
You also need to pursue other hobbies.

Answer 9

Be grateful for having a life.

Answer 10

I'm sorry Sir, I'll keep you in my prayers. Hopefully it was just a minor heart attack.