New Baby....?

Question

A guy who I'm seeing is going to be a new Dad next month, we have been seeing each other on and off for just over 2 years. His ex gf is going to give birth next month. Reason they split is because he found out she slept with someone else, his ex best mate last year. Thing is, when ever I try and talk to him about the baby, he doesn't really like it and doesn't ever bring it up.. I even bought a present for the baby on thursday, some socks, gloves and a hat and I gave it to him saying it was for the baby and he was like "whats this" and he really didn't looked to pleased, he said he appreciates it but really, it felt more like he wished I didn't... what do you think? I know he must be going through a lot right now and he knows I'm here for him as I have told him, I just thought he would of been a bit more happier about it.

Thanks Ryans mum but its not that, i know he does want to be involved with the baby, he's not the type of person who wouldn't want to be involved.. i know for a fact he does

Answer 1

It sounds like he doesn't really want to be involved with the baby once it's born. Ask him point-blank how he feels about becoming a dad. Tell him that the baby needs to have a father in their life. It is not the baby's fault that he/she was created and he needs to step up and take care of them.

Answer 2

I know in your additional details, you said that you know for a fact that he does want involvement with the child.... but it DOES sound like he doesn't care and doesn't want to be involved. You need to take into consideration also that he may be thinking that the kid isn't his.... the ex WAS sleeping around. Even if she says it wasn't before she got pregnant, it could still be a possibility... since she's a lying, cheating gal anyway. I would just leave the subject alone. You don't want to press an issue that's already stressing him out. The only thing that can do is push him further away from you, and maybe resent you for trying to press an issue he doesn't want to touch. I would wait until the baby is here... that's when his true feelings will arise.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Why would you want to be involved with someone who has got another girl pregnant if you have been in a relationship for the last 2 years. Even if it was on and off, he isn't obviously practising safe sex. It seems like with his reaction he thinks your interfering, maybe he is embarrassed about his situation and is trying to forget he is becoming a dad.May be it's not his choice to become a dad yet and doesn't want the matter pushed in his face. Take a step back. When the baby arrives, I doubt his ex will want you to take part in her life, let alone her babies. Sorry to sound so mean but i would want to get as far away from the situation as I could if I was in you position. Things will only get harder once the baby arrives.
Good luck on whatever your choice xx

Answer 4

Well, it was a wise decision on your part. Just be supportive and let him know that no matter what you're there for him. I think he's just having a tough time grasping the whole "my ex girlfriend's having a baby" ordeal. I'd just make sure that HE knows you're there for him. Let him know that you care about him and that just because it's over between them doesn't mean he has to stop caring about his ex girlfriend and her upcoming family. Let him know your opinions and tell him that there are ways of being friends and other options. Make sure that he knows you love him and no matter what happens you will be loving and caring towards him. I hope I could help. I know this may not be the first answer you receive, but please read it bottom to top and I'm sure you can find comfort within it.

Answer 5

Maybe he feels strange that his baby id due in four weeks and he won't get to see it everyday as the baby is being born into a split family. It must be hard for him to think that he will not have the same experiences as other dad's such as getting up in the night with the baby, waking up every morning and seeing his child. Give him space to adjust.

Answer 6

He's not sure of his feelings at the moment.His world is being turned upside down,by the fact he's going to be a father.
With you buying a present for the baby,it's making the reality of it much clearer and closer.
I'm sure he does appreciate the gift,but at the moment everything is in a turmoil for him.
Be there for him,so he knows he has a shoulder to cry on if he needs it.

Answer 7

Maybe he is feeling somewhat bad that he isn't having the baby with you instead? And you are being so supportive makes him feel indifferent about it? Give him time in the long run he will be happy you want to be involved. It's got to be tough for him.

Answer 8

HAVE YOU WONDERED WHETHER HE IS THINKING THAT THE BABY IS NOT HIS?. A lot of first time dads find the pressure a bit much as well so give him support and he will come round. Probably worried about being a part time dad.

Answer 9

he's probably trying emotionally to block the thought of his baby out also if his ex has hurt him there will be alot of hatred towards her.it must be difficult for him and he probably doesn't know how hes going to feel when the baby arrives are you going to be o.k if he starts going round to his ex's? i think the best thing you can do is be there if he wants to talk about it and if its difficult for him change the subject.

Answer 10

first of all u said you av been on and off for 2 years you need to know where you stand with this guy cause if he aint all that serious about you dont get stressing over his problems until u know hes prepared to share everything with you. some guys find it hard to show their emotions but if you think relationship is goin sumwear try not to push him into talkin just let him know you are there for him and let him talk in his own time
good luck hope everything goes well for u