I've been in love with a married man for two years now. I know a relationship will never take place because he's happily married. But, I can't stop thinking about him and we are friends working in the same place. I think he knows because I've always been the good friend (eager at times) all this time.
My problem is that I can't commit or get into other relationships with men because I love this man. I meet nice guys but I don't feel anything...still pining for the one I can't have.
2006-11-26 04:32:45 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to distance yourself and get over him. You're not living in reality. He's in love with someone else and taken her as his wife. Since you say they're happy, you can be sure he doesnt consider you much more than a friendly coworker. You need to face that harsh reality. I think you may be attracted to the situation. His unavailability is a turn on for you. The old "you want what you can't have"
2006-11-26 04:40:57 · answer #1 · answered by Uncommon Sense 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you are really obsessed. Is it possible for you to get another job? If so, then it's time to move on. If not, perhaps you should talk with this friend. If you tell him how you feel, and he tells you that he's happily married and nothing will ever go on between you, perhaps your mind will begin to accept, and you can try getting into a relationship with someone else.
You might want to sit down and have a real session of honesty with yourself. Why is this guy so great? What is it that you think he has that you think no one else does? You might want to get some counseling. Maybe you are in love with him, but maybe you are just in love with who you think he is, and probably you are just obsessed with him.
Good luck to you.
2006-11-26 12:39:27 · answer #2 · answered by Kazweg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DUHHHHHH!
How can you make excuses for his lack of integrity?
Why would you waste your time/energy/love on a guy like that?
Eventually you will grow tired of being used to bolster his ego, when you realize that he lacks the strength and conviction to fix his marriage with his CHOSEN life partner.
Do you lack the confidence to find a single, available guy? Do you get an ego boost out of putting one over on this guy's wife?
Have you no empathy? What would you feel if you were in his wife's shoes?
Are you so gullible that he can justify his actions to you? If he served you a crap sandwich, would you eat it?
Didn't you know that work-relationships are wrong/cause bad morale/can destroy careers? Maybe you do, but you don't care....
I bet you would also brag about letting people blow their nose on the back of your shirt...
2006-11-26 12:43:31 · answer #3 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stay away from this guy you don't want to be a homewrecker do you? Maybe stop talking to him for awhile go out with your friends meet other guys try a bad boy since nice guys aren't working out for you. bcuz if you keep thinking about this happily married guy you might miss out on the perfect guy for you thats thinking about you and you can't even see that.
2006-11-26 12:40:55 · answer #4 · answered by lildancer 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried to talk to him about it and see where he stands on the whole thing. I mean the only way you're going to even start to be able to move on from it is to get it out in the open with him. Somehow tell him that he can't tell his wife because you'd feel terrible for messing up their marriage but you had to get it out there and have him help you move on from the whole thing. I mean if you guys are good friends I'm sure he'd be there to help you. Even with saying any of this, he might feel the same way you do about him but he doesn't know what to do? Just because someone is married doesn't mean that they don't find other people attractive. I mean come on your hormones don't automatically shut off when you find the one you want to marry. Just talk to him about it and see what he'd say about it.
2006-11-26 12:39:25 · answer #5 · answered by Lola 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's common to pine for the one you can't have when you're single.
However, as I'm sure you already know (but are just looking for more people to tell you), for your own health and well-being, the sooner you give up this fantasy of being with this guy, the better.
2006-11-26 12:36:15 · answer #6 · answered by Michael 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you should do is find yourself another job and distance yourself from this man. Your not going to get anywhere with him and if he did cheat on his wife with you and even leave her. How could you trust him. Your not going to give anyone a fair chance until you get away from this situation and have absolutely no contact with him. Don't waist your life wanting a man your never going to have.
2006-11-26 12:37:55 · answer #7 · answered by paulamcneil1223 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trying get counselling and get over in fast so u can move on because as u said married men and woman is off limit
2006-11-26 12:36:39 · answer #8 · answered by tutsie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to remember this is probably just infacuation. You shouldn't think of him. Try dating other guys. You just have to think how would you feel if you were married and your husband was in the same situation as that guy is with you?
I hope you get over him.
2006-11-26 12:35:30 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Nina♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well maybe you need to find a new workplace and move far away from him so you dont ever see him that will help you forget about him and move on he already fell in love now it should be your time but if you are where he is youll keep liking him and no1 else i think its time for you to move hun
2006-11-26 12:37:28 · answer #10 · answered by Nightchild 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋