do i need help my life is falling apart lost my long term love my heart is broken my dads in hospital and lost his marble dementia, the last few days is just drink about 6 /7 pints and 40 cigs during the day just to cope its like i'm number, and then last nite i just couldnt stop sobbing, do i need help
2006-11-26 03:24:02 · 19 answers · asked by johnny 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
numb not number!!
2006-11-26 03:24:25 · update #1
No, it's not necessarily a break down.
You have a lot of really challenging situations on your plate at the moment. Given such situations we all react in our own way. It really sounds like you need a network of support around you. And if you have family members or one or more good friends you can be there for you, then perhaps this is enough to get you through. Sometimes there just doesn't seem to be that network around us, in which case it is important that you do seek out some form of support.
It sounds as if there is a lack of support in the form of someone to talk to, and this may be why you are drinking and smoking excessively. Unfortunately this will do nothing to help matters because all the cigs & drink does is anaesthetise the pain we're feeling for a little while.
I think it's a really good thing that you cried it out last night. Best thing you can do. Often when we see someone cry we think they're in a bad way and need help. Yes, sometimes extra help is needed. But tears are a safety valve. It is when we don't feel our feelings and instead stuff it all down, that it builds up until the pressure becomes too much, and like a volcano we explode.
Because we live in a society where it still isn't always acceptable to show emotion (we are so much better as a nation than we used to be, mind you!) it takes courage to allow ourselves to feel those feelings. It is more courageous and beneficial to let those feelings out than to keep the lid on them. Never be ashamed of yoru feelings. They just wanna be felt.
And doing this, by the way, is the best thing you can do for your Dad. It will keep you strong for him. And it will help you to grieve the loss of your beloved.
But please seek out some support for yourself. You've had a lot to contend with and it is so important that you look after you.
2006-11-26 04:22:58 · answer #1 · answered by Sassie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like life is hitting you over the head with a baseball bat at the moment. You are overloaded and you are reacting to that - yes, you do need help.
Certainly a visit to the doctor might help. How would you feel about seeking help from a group of people in the same boat, i.e. have a loved one suffering from dementia? I feel only someone suffering the same can truly understand.
Mind is one sourceof help in the UK. Parentline is another - although it is strictly meant for parents, they don't mind helping. They are a listening service and are v nice. Please seek help before you get stuck on the booze as means of surviving - alcohol makes depression worse, not better.
2006-11-26 03:38:00 · answer #2 · answered by tagette 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to let yourself grieve, and numbing yourself with alcohol and cigarettes will not help and may cause your early demise. Find a friend you can talk to, a friend who will just listen to you and not judge; write out your pain; seek a therapist if you wish although I would counsel against medical intervention that involves drugs that will cause problems later on (antidepressants, for example, don't work long term and withdrawal sucks). If dementia is an issue in other parts of the family as well, I would consider going on a low dose of a good supplement for the treament of central nervous system disorders, something like EMPowerplus for example, as a prevention measure for yourself.
Let yourself feel the pain but don't walk through it alone. Pray, pray, pray. Find a grief and loss group in your area where there will be others who understand. Your pain is very real and you need some real support here.
2006-11-26 03:33:44 · answer #3 · answered by Samslou 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am a student of psychology at The Massachusetss College Of Liberal Arts (MCLA) earning B.A. in psychology, so I hope I can help you. The events in your life life (losing your long time partner and dealing with your father's dementia and long hospital stay) have caused you to go into a state of severe depression. If you are having trouble coping (the drinking, smoking, and long bouts of sobbing point to yes) then you should seek therapy from a councilor or a psychologist or a psychiatrist. They will help you deal with the problems in your life and resolve them in a manner that is healthy as opposed to drinking and smoking until you feel better temporarily. This behavior is called emotion-focused coping. You have problems that you cant deal with because you can't control them (your partner's loss of interest, your father's health). Since you cant control the outside sources of your pain, you are trying to control the feelings they produce in you by drinking and smoking. This is unhealthy for two reasons: 1)Smoking is only going to make you feel like smoking and shorten your life 2) Alcohol is a depressant so even though you feel better when drunk, it is actually making you more depressed than if you hadn't drank and it damages your liver. What I recommend is that you call you doctor and have them refer to a psychologist for therapy. They will teach you better ways to manage your stress and deal with life's problems. Don't feel ashamed about getting therapy. It doesn't mean you're "crazy" or anyhting, it just means you're vulnerable to hard times just like anybody else. I sincerely hope you get the help you and need and wish you well in life. Thanks for your time.
2006-11-26 03:51:00 · answer #4 · answered by dragoncat17 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. its depression....because so many things are going on at the same time. It happens that way. Tackle one thing at a time if you can and things will start getting better. I had so any things going on a little while ago and I swas getting really fed up with life generally...my brother died...then I had an accidnt with revolving doors in an hotel....then a frozen should...then deal withProbate which took 8 months and is still not cleared by the Probate office then I had to deal with my daughters wedding. Mu husband got a lump in his throat and has to have a scan now. Now....I have an abcess so you see its one thing afer another...all in a matter of months so you are not alone. Dont drink its the worst thing you can do and will make you feel worse. Get out and about as much as you can till things calm down a bit. come on here and have a laugh at things to compensate for the tears you have shed. Every cloud has a silver lining so you will be ok. If you have lost your long term love it wasnt meant to be and you will get someone later who will love you for ever. Heres to better things to come.
2006-11-26 03:33:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
well it seems like your having a tough time... heres some advice from someone who has had a brekdown in the past and very similar ish... i lost my first love and i get mega down my mum turned into a alchoholic and stuff went bad.. heres some advice find some new hobbies to getyou through the day stop drinking it doesnt help and try and quit smoking you WILL feel better. get a games console it gives you something to do with your hands. and then go to the doctors and explain situation take some time for yourself think about everything good that has happened in the past and try and work around bad things.. generally just look on the bright side look at other peoples problems and yours wont seem as bad trust me that works...Wh
2006-11-26 03:33:55 · answer #6 · answered by nommie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to see a doctor as drinking wont help, and neither will the cigs. I dont think you are having a breakdown, just really letting thing getting on top of you, the doctor will be the best person to advise you though, good luck hope you feel better soon!!
2006-11-26 04:03:03 · answer #7 · answered by TRACY M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not having a breakdown,We all go true bad time,s when we find it hard to cope with everything.You should talk to a friend and see can they help you.By talking to some one, you will feel a lot better.Don,t keep everything to yourself.Drink is not the answer i have been there.It does nothing for you only make,s you feel worse in the morning.Try getting out with friends,don,t stay in and mope over any fella go out and enjoy yourself.Their is plenty of fish in the sea.I know it,s hard but you have to be strong for your dad.
2006-11-26 03:48:00 · answer #8 · answered by libie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you're not having a break down it would probably be a good idea to talk to a counsillor about your problems.
I'm sorry about your long term love and your father, but sometimes life deals some bad cards...this will make you stronger and you will soon have something new and exciting to look forward to!
2006-11-26 07:26:39 · answer #9 · answered by daisy_chain23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A day in the life pal! Some people cope better than others do.If your body and mind are talking to you then listen to them.The human body can take a lot of hammering,but not for ever.So get ot now while you are just starting.
2006-11-26 03:32:10 · answer #10 · answered by Big Bruv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋