she rather just drop things we fight about then talk through them then iblamed that for the reason we fight so much.... and she turned around as me blaming her and got mad.....what do i do?
2006-11-26 03:10:28 · 8 answers · asked by peter r 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In my experiences it is usually the guy who wants to just forget things. I find that relationships don't work without communication. My boyfriend and i always talk about our problems. He is the one who just wants to drop it, but i tell him, this will never work if we don't work on our problems. So we go get a latte and talk about it. IF she is unwilling to do this, then you might not be right for each other, and you guys will eventually drown in your problems. If you REALLY love her, i would keep trying to work on it. But if you can't, i would think about leaving her, you might just not be right for each other.
2006-11-26 03:17:15 · answer #1 · answered by Stark 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! You seem to be a mature man for your young age. This will lead you through this. Your partner perhaps has had no occasion to do domestic work. Unless some grounding is there things do not get handled prperly ,crockery etc. It is damaged. You should take this background of hers into account and volunteer to handle some of these duties yourself. Even then is she does drop something the best policy is just to overlook it.Surely not to break your relations is more important than the breakage. This incident,if necessary, can be taken up at a later date and then in a casual manner and not apportioning blame.I feel she also realised that she is not being a good housewife to you but then pride holds back the admission.She is perhaps well-educated and therefore all the more nervous over her mishandling since she must have seen that quit run of the world women tend to manage these things better.And she may be having an inferiority complex developig within her. Your quite natural reactions on the spot must seem to her as intolerable callousness on y our part towards her innermost apprehensions. She then feels that you are deliberatly finding fault with her and this fault-finding has ulterior motives behind it.She may perhaps e realising that she is being unkind to you but could not help bursting out because her self-respect has been touched.So try to be a good husband, an understanding husband(you are already a good person. Any other short-tempered man would have brokenthe marriage over a broken crockery set). Also do not just keep glum if such accidents happen. She is likely to feel that by remaining silent you are infuriating her. Keep the conversation alive. Best of luck.
2006-11-26 03:31:19 · answer #2 · answered by Prabhakar G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well no one listens when you argue.... You all need to TALK... Not judge not yell not scream not blame point fingers or any of that. No one in this situation is handling it very well. Agree that the both of you are to blame and go from there. Ask her why she doesn't express herself and open up to you about things that bother her. The main purpose of communication is to listen you too are shutting each other out. Learn ot compromise on both parts.
2006-11-26 03:14:33 · answer #3 · answered by Laila 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hhmmm...tough question..its hard cos i dont know you or her..or for that matter why you would want my advice...but what i would say is if a girl is getting mad at you..somtimes its best not to get mad back...cos then you just gonna get a worse situation...but if you being quiet is making her more mad, then walk away...if you need to talk to her, bring up the subject when the time is more better...like when your cooking together, or just walking to the shop etc...dont bring up a touchy subject in an argument cos shes jsut gonna flip and proberlly say the opposite of what she trully feels..good luck
2006-11-26 03:15:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you about talking things through. You should each listen to what the other has to say, with no interruptions. Then, if one of you has comments about what the other has said, talk about them calmly. If she's not willing to do that, maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship.
2006-11-26 03:41:54 · answer #5 · answered by postcardtrader 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation as you, but I was the one not talking it out. You should ask her to write you a letter instead of keeping it bottled inside. It helped out my relationship a lot.
2006-11-26 03:13:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she doesnt want to talk about something then it's obviosly not that serious to her. Dont make mountains out of mole hills. Get a girl that you can handle cause your lady is too independent for you.
2006-11-26 03:15:06 · answer #7 · answered by A man ready to commit. 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
try to talk things out with her, if she doesn't want to, then she doesn't want to be in a relationship!
2006-11-26 03:17:48 · answer #8 · answered by dreamg34 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋