I have been with this man 7 yrs we have 3 kids together . i think he is cheating on me i find pictures of women on the computer and find phone numbers in his phone i also check his email and find things there from other women i love him very much but i am not sure we should stay together . he says that i shouldnt go threw his stuff but i say there shouldn't be anything there for me to find . he says he is not cheating but i just don't believe he says he just gets bored and talks to people onthe internet to pass time . should i stay ????
2006-11-26 02:59:56 · 16 answers · asked by been there 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
7 YEARS(+)3 KIDS(-)MARRIAGE/COMMITMENT(=)
UNHAPPINESS.
There's no commitment from this man! He seems only commitmented to preventing you from the benefits of a healthy relationship. And since he's not commitmented to you, then he doesn't have to, Stop getting phone numbers, Contacting women online or make you his Number One Woman. To be honest, at this point, you're not a woman he wants. He may need you but he does not want you. Let me tell you, there's no feeling in the world like being wanted. Leave, while you still have some life left. Another problem is you can't even get child support from this man.
2006-11-26 04:43:36 · answer #1 · answered by alphafury08 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think he is cheating he probably is. Don't ignore your instincts. On the other hand, if you want the relationship to work you should just try and block it from your mind, if you can. I know lots of men who cheat but the women they cheat with mean nothing to them. Not a very attractive trait but it is more prevalent than many people realize. Lots of couples deal with infidelity and get past it. He claims he is faithful to you and if you keep pushing him you will destroy what you have left as a relationship. Decide to end it or get over it. It doesn't sound like you are married? Maybe you should say that the relationship isn't working for you as it is and move out. Then if he loves you he will chase after you and be the man you are looking for. Sounds like he has all the power in this relationship, take some back.
2006-11-26 11:07:32 · answer #2 · answered by LDR02 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I've known a lot of women who are so afraid their BF will leave them for another woman that they go through their guys phones/e-mails/voice mails/etc. In the end the guy leaves them anyway....not for another woman but because they are tired of being constantly accused of cheating and having their privacy invaded.
The bottom line is if a guy wants to leave a relationship, he'll leave. Getting freaked out over something that may never actually happen is not only a waste of time, having to continually defend himself just gives him a reason to leave sooner.
Unless your BF has given you a real good reason to be suspicious, stop checking up on him. A healthy relationship requires trust.
2006-11-26 11:05:25 · answer #3 · answered by Mary L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tight situation. Talk to him and tell him to stop his activity. Rem tat one thing leads to another and it's very easy for a bored man to start cheating. Any idea y he feels so bored??? Maybe u r not giving him the kind of attention u used to give cos u are too involved with ur kids n work. If this is the case, take out some time 4 him too. Try to work it out....all the best!!
2006-11-26 11:11:50 · answer #4 · answered by garfield 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is obviously no trust in this relationship.
Sit him down in a room and calmly tell him what you think and why. Ask him, "What are those emails from?"
If he tells you, "You shouldn't be going through my stuff!"
You say, "You still haven't answered my question... is there a reason for me not to trust you?"
Of course, he might not come clean. Make sure he is looking you in the eye when he tells you this.
Why would you be finding pictures of random women on the computer? Maybe he's a porno addict?
2006-11-26 11:09:16 · answer #5 · answered by small one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he isn't cheating, he certainly wants to. If this is the only real problem, then I would try to work through it. Whether your relationship is worth saving is up to you, though. I doubt you'll be able to work this out on your own. If both of you still want to stay together, then getting some outside help is important. Find a counsellor with a lot of successful experience. -yk
2006-11-26 11:07:06 · answer #6 · answered by Yaakov 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do phone numbers in his wallet have to do with talking to people on the internet? Women get a gut instinct when something is up with their man, and you need to do more investigating. He is NOT going to tell you if he is doing something he should not be. You need to start finding out who's numbers he has and who he is chatting with online. Try whitepages.com and do reverse phone number searches, get addresses, drive by and see if he is there when he is not home. Call the numbers, find out who it is, in most cases if their is another woman, they do not know YOU exist. Start emailing the women he talks to online and find out if he is flirting and if they know he is in a relationship. Keep your findings to yourself until you can PROVE he is doing wrong. If you don't catch him in the act, he is going to lie.
2006-11-26 11:09:08 · answer #7 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't trust him. If he is doing something to make you doubt your relationship, he is probably doing something wrong. If he is talking to women that are his friends, then he should have nothing to hide. But if he is hiding it, and getting mad when you find it, then i would think that is Bad news. And what did the emails say? that's kind of important too.
If this was my boyfriend doing this, i would find out if he is meeting these women. If he is just talking, i would get mad at him, and make him stop (or try). But if he is actually meeting them, i would leave him.
Good Luck...
2006-11-26 11:07:09 · answer #8 · answered by Stark 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He doesn't sound that committed to the relationship. A man with three children to support doesn't have time or the luxury to be "bored." He also sounds very self-centered and immature. If you are content to be treated in a disrespectful manner than you will probably stay with him. However, if you want something more for yourself and your children then you might want to make plans to leave him and seek custodial support of your children.
2006-11-26 11:05:48 · answer #9 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let me get this straight. You've been shacking up with this guy for 7 years and never thought about sealing your commitment by getting married??? Please write this down "No Marriage = No Commitment"
What you should do now is get a "marriage" or relationship counselor and both of you go there. You need to find out where your relationship is and how to get it to where you want it.
Good Luck
2006-11-26 11:05:20 · answer #10 · answered by snvffy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋