My girlfriend who i loved left me for an older guy....i feel used cuz slept with me when they argued..help!?

Question

I was with her on and off for 2 years. We got off on a rough start because she wasnt over her ex. It was my first relationship and I must admit I was a bit immature. Im not a dumb guy and I do have a big intellectual edge over her. She is very superficial, (fake eyelashes, contacs, fake boobs) and she is only 20. I loved her to death and tried to give her everything she wanted. She has a wndering eye. We live an hour away from each other and with my older car, I walways try and see her. Throughout the relationship, I felt really unappreciated. She lives with mom and sister and all of them have guy problems. When we were trying to work things out, she started talking to some guy as "friends." It constantly bothered me because I did whatever i could to make her feel more secure. I act needy and desperate because I wonder why she does certain things to me. She says its one reason she left me cuz im crazy. Now everything i tried to avoid is happening. It literally "kills" me. Theyre dating

Answer 1

ok, I was in a realtionship for 3.5 years and had a beautiful little girl with him. Everything was goin wonderful, and all of a sudden one day our relationship went down the tube and I had no idea why. I did EVERYTHING in my power to try to keep us together and try to make us happy again eventhough i didnt know why he seemed so unhappy. I came to find out that he was seeing another girl (that was 3 years under age) and at first it "killed" me. I finally moved out and took my daughter with me. Whenever her and him had problems he would come to me. One day he told me he wanted me back, and as much as it hurt me to look him in the eye and tell him no and why, it also made me feel 10 times better and it finally made me feel like i was one in control. Dont let her walk all over you, your making yourself vunerable to her and thats the last thing you want to do. She is going to keep using you if you let her. Your probably thinking that if you do keep sleeping with her then she'll come back. Well guess what its not going to happen, and if she does come back its going to be because she needs the comfort of a male in her life, and once she finds somone else you will just be the dirt underneith her shoe once again. You need to put in your head that YOU CAN do better. You need to think to yourself " Is this something that I want to deal with for the rest of my life?" I bet you its not. So let someone else deal with her. And another thing is that you wont beable to ever trust her because she left you for another guy, and thats not healthy for a realtionship at all. Trust and communication are the 2 main keys to a relatioship. You also want someone who is going to make you feel appreciated for the things you do, and make you feel like your actually worth something. Ask yourself "Why do I love her?" Can you come up with anything. You already said she makes you feel unapprciated, she obviously makes you feel like your worth nothing, and that your not good enough for her. Are those good reasons to love someone? No its not.

Answer 2

well, the next question is how old are you now? If it's only been a few years you still have some time before it screws up your life too much. 15 is a tender age. I met my first love at 14 and long story short, he was a liar and a cheater but I couldn't get it through my head until I was 23. It took 9 years and a lot of drama to get through it. But once I saw him for who he was and not what I wanted to believe he was I got over it really quickly. I'm sure there will become an epiphany moment for you. You have to soul search as to why this is bothering you so much. You only dated for 2 months at the time, why did this betrayal hurt so much that it's lingered on even after you broke up. Have you been betrayed by others? Next thing is that you have to focus in your next relationship on not making others carry the mistakes that someone else made. It's up to you to put your mind to it and say, "NO, this person is a different person and I will not all MYSELF to force this person to carry the mistakes of others." Try writing this girl a letter, once you've said everything your heart feels burn it. Let go of the emotions as the papers disintegrates. If that doesn't work then really try hard to focus on not condemning a new person for her transgressions. Good luck!

Answer 3

I'm sorry but woman like this come back to what they know becasue they know you'll always be there, yes unfortnately you were used. But you are right and know what your talking about, women who have issuses usally start with the family, and yes women uusally take after there mothers it's sad to say but really it's a proven fact. And if she has all these fake things then she is trying to compensate for the things that are hurting her inside. I would just keep it as a friend level and help her through to find herself because it seems like you love her deeply, but other then that I would seriously try to move on because if she never changes it will only hurt you and scare you in the long run. And you don't want to scare your heart for the next good girl who comes around. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Been there, buddy. It hurts, I know, but it is for the best. Take a little time to grieve. The best thing you can do is to get some counseling, maybe from a minister if you don't have access to a mental health clinic.

From everything you wrote, you yourself can see she is not good enough for you. And you say the problems run in her family, so you know it is a good thing she is gone.

Again, the best thing is to get some counseling. You might also try doing something to feel good, like volunteering temporarily. That way you can validate the fact that you are a good person no matter what she does.

Answer 5

Go seek counseling. You repeatedly state what a mess she is(fake eyelashes, boobs, etc) and how psychologically twisted she is; not to mention the fact that she comes from a family where this is the norm. Yet, you sit in judgement of a person you KNOW to be a problem and allow yourself to get emotionally attached?! It's not HER you should be concerned about...

Answer 6

You are probably being used and will continue to be used until you stand up for yourself. If she lives an hour way cut your ties with her. Heck, if she was eyeing other guys while she was with you, became friends with her new boyfriend while you two were trying to work things out, and slept with you while with her new boyfriend then she is also the one with the issues. I would also suggest counseling because you sound like you have self esteem issues to tolerate such behavior.

Answer 7

I know it's hard, but you need to move on. No one deserves to be treated that way. She sounds like she is the one who needs to grow up. You should just stay away from her, don't see her & don't talk to her. She sounds like she has some issues to work out before she can be in a functional relationship. You're young, you just need to get over her and find someone who will treat you good. And I know it may be hard but don't fall for the bootie call. It will only make it that much harder for you to get over her.

Answer 8

The reason why she left u is becuz u give her everything she wanted and if u stoped doing these things then she left u 4 the guy she was going with during ur hold relationship. Thats what i think?

Answer 9

She's using u. It's hard to know the truth but better than living in fool's paradise. U r saying that she's superficial...y don't u try finding out the real woman of substance (I'm there:)).

Answer 10

It's time to move on.

She is not going to call
and she is not going to come over.

The better you are, the cooler you are the better women you will attract. So start living your life and become a more interesting person.

Besides you were a bit needy and desperate weren't you?