How bad should your child be before you should spank them?

Question

Does it have to be something really big for you to spank them such as breaking something or just simply refusing to do what you say?

Answer 1

don't spank your child , talk to your child, theres other ways of punishing a child than being physical about it ...

Answer 2

Although I was spanked as a kid I was convinced in college that it was inappropriate. So I did not at first spank when I had my own kids. To make a long story short--in the course of being a Mom I changed my tune and decided my parents were not so dumb and old fashioned after all.

I know that anectodal stories are not very useful--but that is the major reason I spank--it works for me. I also think it is fairer and less mean than punishments like time outs and groundings. A spanking gets the punishment over and the air is cleared. The other things drag the thing out. I don't want to be a parental jailer. With younger kids I think the whole point of why they are being punsihed is lost. With older kids it is no more of an effective punishment and inspiration to strive for better behavior than jailing adults is.


I think if more parents would spank--and do it correctly--they would be very surprprised by the results they get. And I don't mean for every little thing but not just as a last resort either. The real key to making it work is consistency.

I have talked at length about this with my Mom and I agree with her. Spanking should not just be a last resort. Mom felt, as I do, that a lot of the other punishments do not work that well. In many cases talk and reprimand work fine. But when punishment is called for spanking is the best thing.

So we (as I think my kids are) were probably punished less than most kids--but I know we got more spankings.

I should also mention all the research that has been done on this subject showing it is bad, causes violence, etc. These are all statistically flawed. Infact to the surprise of one researchers who surveyed all the research--he found it to be the most effective method of getting children to comply with the wishes of their parents. For more information on this see my discussion at: http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-ggifacyzf...

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Answer 3

The scriptures say spare the rod spoil the child... so I'm gonna go with the Most High on this one. People simply speaking to and scolding children are the reason the kids are like this today. There are some things that you can just say to your child and they should follow instruction if you are consistent, but if you get the point where you're repeating yourself continuously a spanking is in order. Never beat a child, a few swats should get the point across. I wouldn't spank a child for breaking something unless it's on purpose because accidents do happen. And make sure the spanking isn't out of your frustration. It should be a necessary spanking. So you may need to check yourself instead of the child.

We have got to discipline these children. My dad never spanked me but my mom sure did. He was far too lenient and I got away with alot of stuff with him. My mom was consistent and gave me spankings when appropriate... who did you think I respected the most? You're not abusing your child you just want your child on the straight and narrow path, so your guidance and lessons throughout their lives is needed and you will be blessed with a respectful child in the end.

Answer 4

A spanking if for when a child has been taught how to behave, has been reminded, and chooses instead to misbehave.

Children have free will, they just need to understand what the consequences are of their choices. We can talk it out and work it out and reach a solution without a spanking, or the child can decide instead to misbehave and get a swat on the butt.

Its not needed all the time, since usually if the child knows how to behave and isnt over stimulated they find it easy to. But cross that line and you can bet my hand is waiting to swat some hiney.

Answer 5

I use to think spanking was good ...but there are other ways around that..lets say he/she broke something...explain to the child that certain things arent to be touch(buy another)as for refusing to do what you say thats a tough one if he/she is a baby mold him/her so they wont be rebellious when they are older..if he/she is a teen give them a swift kick(lol..they should know better)Truthfully on a teen take away what matters the most to them....If you bring a child up "THE RIGHT WAY" when he/she/is a baby..He/She will be a good child.
COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY


Hope this helps ...
A mom of 3 well mannered great kids

Answer 6

wow, so someone that doesn't think spanking is taboo. Congratulations....I am sure you will get a lot of **** for even suggesting that you might spank you kid. Here is the deal. I don't think a spanking is necesary for everything. But if other things don't work, swat there little butt. The onnly thing is make sure you aren't just mad @ the situation. If they do break your favorite vase, know they did wrong and appear remorseful. perhaps even for breaking something a trip to timeout or whatever might work. But if they are repeatedly poking sister and the other things don't work. smack the butt.

Answer 7

Late start on the parenting? Kids, from the moment they are cognizant of “Yes No” are able to understand if they are doing something right or wrong, and will respond to those verbal cues. After seeing 3 year olds who have NEVER been physically touched in ANY punitive way follow directions simply from verbal cues. Why TEACH kids hitting is OK?? When one little girl hears “no” from her mother she immediately stops what she’s doing. IF her Dad says “NO!” she stops whatever it is she’s doing,, completely falls to pieces runs to her room crying, crushed for an hour. She has NEVER been struck in a punitive way! Of course the child was a passive participant in conversations even before she could speak. The parents talked to her using age appropriate language even thou she had not mastered speech at that time. (she was talking in complete sentences by age 2 ½ years old)

Spanking is just a “short cut” method to parenting ie: punishment, whereby the child only really learns hitting is ok.

Answer 8

My parents would tell me to do something once and I would do it. But when I was about 8, I went thru a little phase where I would not immediately do it. After a few weeks of this, they got tired of it, and told me "If I have to tell you again, you will get a spanking for not obeying" Of course I had to test the theory a few times, and sure enough got a spanking. Guess what? I obeyed the first time after that. Parents needs to be PARENTS not FRIENDS.

Answer 9

Anytime you child does not obey the first time they should be spanked. If you give them 3 chances then they will know they can disobey three times. If your child breaks something in the house and it is do to them doing something they know not to do then they should be spanked. Of course kids sometimes forget and there are exceptions, this should be the general rule. In the long run you will spank less. No Elena excuse me!

Answer 10

Spanking should be the last resort. Kids should not be spanked for every little thing, but they need it every once in a while when they get really out of hand.

Answer 11

And i guess you all ask why did that child shot those people in school.I was alway spanked for repeat no,no's.Broke alot of wooden spoons on my butt.Some children i see these day's had no training .Glad i'm not still a parent of little children.By the dumb laws they have now i'd be in jail.A bruse now and then never hurt me or my kid's.They never shot anyone.The laws of all the countrys are the blame .