i'm kinda seeing someone whos about 20 years older den me. he is not married before .. somehow my parents and some other family members are giving disapproval of our friendship ..
is there anything really wrong?
2006-11-26 02:30:44 · 15 answers · asked by CT TC 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i'm 26yrs.. i still don't know why my parents are controlling my choice of partners..
2006-11-26 02:42:19 · update #1
It may seem right for you now but in time as he grows older and you grow older too things will seem different. You will one day realize the large gap between you and you don't have anything in common. He will be tired and want to stay home you'll still have alot of energy left and want to do more things than he, in other words you will get bored of him because you will mature and your thoughts about life will change. Right now maybe you like the feeling of security, someone to protect you and show you the things you desire in life. When grow older you will become more independant and find you don't need anyone as much, then what?Also, he can take advantage of the fact your young and not as wise as he and can mold you (train) to be the perfect one for him, in other words to please him and take care of him, and not care about yourself.
2006-11-26 02:45:01 · answer #1 · answered by karen s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think parents feel that someone that much older is not going to make you happy for the long haul. They fear that as you get older, you will grow out of the relationship with this man and will end up caretaking him. There's also the concern that you will be a youngish widow with possibly children to support on your own. The other question that they may have is why hasn't this man been married before? A lot of families would worry that a man who has never been married and is in his 40's or 50's wouldn't be a good risk. Having said all that, good luck to you!
2006-11-26 10:34:14 · answer #2 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with it but, there are reasons why not to. Like back in the 60's, poeple had a hard time when a white person dated a black person. People will disapproval for 2 reason, 1 out of love or out of hate. If you stay with him, both of you will have to deal with what others will say. good luck in the relationship.
2006-11-26 10:55:18 · answer #3 · answered by larlonewolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probably frowned on more with a younger woman older man then the other way around... a kind of reverse sexism. The perception being, that the older man is taking advantage of the younger woman. When an older woman dates a younger man, it seems less threatening, and the older woman is often congratulated in that she has what it takes to attract a younger fellow.
2006-11-26 10:45:56 · answer #4 · answered by Feathery 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me, I think of a guy who is 20 years older than a girl as a perv. When I was 20, a 40 yr. old guy was just an old man to me. Yuk. I still like men a little younger. They are more capable from my experience.
2006-11-26 10:33:44 · answer #5 · answered by MsFancy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CT CT
No there isn't anything wrong with you dating a older guy. I did it. But just make sure that he is the right guy for you and if he is your parents and family will come around or half of them will come around. My husband didn't died. I left him because he was treating my son and I really bad. So, I packed my boys up and my self up and move out.. I would just go on dating the guy you are seeing. I hope this helps you out. magickgirl_77
2006-11-26 10:45:01 · answer #6 · answered by magickgirl_77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
idk how old you are, but someone 20 years older then you is a bit much..... 10 even is, but its better then 20! with someone that much older then you theres not much connection there in your childhoods, n that kinda thing, because times would have changed by then..... he would have been 20 when you were born..... basiclly old enough to be your dad....
thats why its frowned upon... because hes old enough to be your dad! which, to me, is just wrong...
another thing is, they are probably thinking that you can do soo much better then that....
personally i dont like it, its wrong, guys that much older then the girl they are dating needs to have enough respect and say 'hey, im not for you, find someone closer to your age' ..... if you were to get married and had kids, theres a good chance, hed die before his own kids are as old as he was when you were born... just a something to think bout...
but i guess, if thats what you want, no one can stop you....
2006-11-26 10:40:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love each other it shouldn't matter. But if you are under the age of consent, I'd wait a little and if he loves you, he'll wait for you. A lot of people think that a big age difference is wrong but I think that love comes in all ages. And girls usually mature before boys so it makes sense actually that girls would be attracted to older men.
2006-11-26 10:37:15 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think someone 20 years older or younger wouldnt have much in common. there is more to life then sex, believe it or not.
2006-11-26 10:37:35 · answer #9 · answered by ningamdo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think someone 20 years older or younger wouldnt have much in common. there is more to life then sex, believe it or not.
2006-11-26 10:33:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋