My 11 yr son is controlling my 7 yr?

Question

he goes in the basement she has to go with him.He wants to go and play she has to go with him.I know that he is scared to be by him self.So he is using her all the time and she is Ok with it and sometimes bothers her but gets over it.Just like being his 2nd mother.What should I do?

Answer 1

Beware - your son is developing into a possessive character - I read somewhere only 1 in 6 guys behave in that way. A possessive person has a mindset which craves attention every moment. Your son may be very protective about his sister - at least that's what his subconscious mind tells him. Gradually, with time as your son grows up he'll let off your daughter, for he'll have additional people in his life - and if it's a close friend or a girl again, he might start acting like a despo - and any fatal consequences later - the MOTHER gets the blame always for not remeding when the age was appropriate that is now.

A possessive person can develop into a psychopath and a dangerous something - because of this terrible attitude of seeking attention and praise every moment. Forgive me for sounding so alarmed, but I assume you are not joking when you report this behavior of your son in this community. Be a good mother and take him to a psychiatrist or a hynotist. It is evidence that hypnotism by an expert can cure many common psychological problems. Before it's too late, make sure your boy becomes an independent thinking person. Make him responsible for his behavior. Encourage him to make friends outside. Ask him to develop an interest in outdoor sports and take criticism in the face. In short, teach him to be a MAN.

Be a good mother.

Answer 2

Your 7 year old is not equipped to be a mother, and she should not have to be your 11 year-old's caretaker.

I'm a little creeped out that an 11 year old boy is taking a 7 year old girl to the basement, too.

If you look at the developmental differences between 11 year olds and 7 year olds--even just in terms of intellectual capacity, you have to question this behavior.

You need to investigate this, because what you're doing is setting your daughter up to be a caretaker for a guy when she's an adult. An irresponsible ne'er-do-well who needs a mommy because his own mother wasn't there for him.

Answer 3

Leave it alone if your daughter doesn't fuss. Parents would kill for that kind of bond between their kids.

See if you don't want to enroll the middle schooler in the after school program. Academic support from 3 to 4, and an activity with his PEERS afterwards. See if he won't interact with his age group a little more.

See if he doesn't want to go to the Friday night YMCA or Champions for Life functions. Encourage him to bring a friend home. Or join soccer, or 4-H or something. See if there's a Male Mentoring program locally where he can go hang out with the guys for awhile on a weekend.

Answer 4

How wonderful! Your kids have the relationship that all mothers want for their children. However... I would sit down with your 11 year old and explain what it means to be a big brother. Let him know that she looks up to him, and is learning from him. Teach him what it is to be a good person. Explain that whatever he does, that she is going to do too. Tell him that he is doing a great job, and that you appreciate him being such a positive role model in her life.

Answer 5

I am 11 and my bother is 7.I control him but he hats itso I stopped.Do what I did. Cotrol the younger 1 till they don't want to listen to them any more.

Answer 6

Stop it. You're mom. kids do a lot together, but at some point you have to set some limitations.Find something else for you 11 year old to do while your 7 year old does something alone.

its not healthy.

Answer 7

BE A MOTHER! Take charge of the situation,that's what's wrong with children these days! They will grow up wild!

Answer 8

let them be