Homeschoolers, what do you think of this article?

Question

It was a Yahoo News link:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061125/ap_on_re_us/teen_tweens

For me, I was disappointed that they didn't look more explicitly towards school as part of the cause of behaviour changes.

How many tweens do I know who try to look like teenagers? Actually, I see them just about every day. I spent time with some just last night. I hear about it from homeschooled kids who are involved in sports programs with public schooled kids.

I don't by any means want to imply that ALL of the kids are changing that way. However, given my particular interest in psychology (especially developmental psychology) and my past experience as a teacher, I see how having such children around you at school can definitely be an influence on other children. Schooled kids don't spend most of their time anymore with their parents--they spend it around an unrelated adult and 30 other kids their age.

Not to mention, the same effects can be seen in adults. I watched something a month or so ago where this very thing was discussed, about how it's too easy to pick up attitudes and words from people we may hang around with, so we need to choose wisely. Kids are thrown together in a class; no choice.

And so, kids with great parents may find themselves thrown into a circle of classmates who don't have such great parents. They want to have friends and for much of childhood, that means having similar tastes. This isn't about rationalizing what should happen; this is looking at how kids grow and adopt what's around them and how we all need a sense of belonging.

Hey, Go Pats, just read your comment. OMG, have you brought back memories of my own school experience. I still have a picture in my head of two grade 9'ers making out on the front benches IN the school one lunch hour at my jr. high... Not to mention classes in high school with kids who were hungover or stoned... I had forgotten about things like that as having been in 'my time'. I can't say it's benefited me and was a valuable part of my growing up...

Answer 1

This is an interesting article, though i would agree it really didn't get into the issue as much as it could have.Life has changed for our young people, but ultimately, parents allow the t.v shows that children watch, if you don't like a show turn it off. My children are not allowed to watch t.v after 8.30 pm when all the shows that are unsuitable for their age start.Parents allow the clothes that are in a pre teens wardrobe, don't buy something if you think it is age unsuitable. parents also allow the music they listen to, offer other choices, if you do not like the choices they want to make.Parents have to be responsible for what is going on in a pre teens life, if you don't like the influences of their school , change schools, encourage them to go to activities they are good at, and make friends with similar interests away from their school friends. To influence your children's life is a full time and often repetitive job, but well worth all the effort in the end, when they become responsible, like able, mature adults. I home school, but whether you home school or not, you have the choice to influence your children positively.

Answer 2

I've read the article several times as first a parent and then an educator. I am appalled at what I and my wife see going on in our schools on a daily basis. However, I read two seminal books my undergraduate days for a class in adolescent psych that really exposed me to this sea change prior to this article. They are "The Hurried Child" and "All Grown Up and No Place To Go"
The main thrust of the books is that the author believes that the change is being driven by shifting dynamics inside the family. Mom and Dad can't wait for Lil' Jimmy or Janey to get to a level where they don't have to be watched and nurtured. In fact, they want their child to take on adult responsibilities far before they are able - clothing, decisions on work and play time, even sex are all on the table. The only problem with this Pandora's box is that once its open - you can't close it. Once you give a child a certain level of responsibility, you can't take it away. So now we have children acting, and being encouraged to act, like mini-adults far before they are emotionally ready for that challenge - shame on us all.

Answer 3

I think the real issue isn't school as much as parents not setting responsible limits.

It doesn't matter if your kid goes to school or does his lessons at home; if his peers are growing up too fast he will too.

School exaggerates the problems by being a huge, lush feeding ground for corporations looking to make money, but if nobody downloaded the music, the artists would go out of business.

Answer 4

I knew all that before I read it because I live it with my 10-year-old daughter and her friends. "Going out" with boys is popular, though it's not dating, it's just a label. I have seen some of these little girls dressed like they were going clubbing and trying to pick men. I have argued with my daughter over makeup, shoes, clothes and attitudes. I've withdrawn my daughter from school because she was spending so much time with her peers that our influence as parents was not getting anywhere. I don't know what to do to slow down these children who just want to grow up so fast. My son was not like that. Even at fifteen he's not looking for girls to go out with and is still pretty easy to parent. I hate this trend and I am deeply disturbed that it has affected my daughter and her social development.

Answer 5

Yes I agree with you, they should have done a study on the school part too. My friend used to go to public school and as soon as she stopped going I noticed an immediate change in her attititude. It is not kids that are the problem. It is kids grouping with kids. One kid thinks this is cool, and the others don't. Then the peer pressure starts for this kid to start acting like the other ones, ignoreing his or her own individuality. Then by 15 they are messed up on who they are.

Every year it seems like it just gets worse. It used to be unheard of, of a 9 year old haveing a relationship. Now the age just keeps getting lower.

Thanks for the article. From one homeschooler to another. heh heh.

Message me if you have anymore good articles like this or if you want a good debate. :-).

Answer 6

I think it is a sad commentary on our society in general. Yes! Homeschooling helps keep these issues down to a minimum. Though I would place more blame on the parents than the school systems. My boys know what behavior is expected, and I have no problem setting firm limits for them.

Answer 7

I think that it puts everything into a nutshell.

Anybody else read it and decide that home-schooling might be a good alternative? Go for it! It works. Mix together Love, Attention, Time, Space, Books, Field trips, Games, Supervision, and fun --- shake it all up and have yourself a great home-school for kindergarten through high-school. Your children are the best gift that you've ever received --- treat them well, raise them to be good, teach them how to think and how to work.

Ask plenty of questions ---- there are so many resources and materials available for home-education. You will not be lacking in anything that you might need.

Answer 8

Glurpy,

That article is right on the money! You had to have gone to public school to really understand this. I was in public school from 2nd to 8th grade. I had enough when I entered High School. The school totally changed my attitude, and really stressed my relationship with my parents. I hated them because they knew I was having problems there, and they still allowed me to go. Walking around halls that smelled like weed, watching 15 yr. olds having a make-out session in the middle of the hall, the teasing, bullying, etc. made me sick! I finally looked into homeschooling,. and came across American School. That placed truly saved me, and gave me hope I would be someone!

Answer 9

I seen that article earlier in the day today. That's what made me start thinking about homeschooling my boys, who are 3 and 4. I can't stand the thoughts of my kids being raised in the public school system the way it is today. We are of the Pentecostal/Holiness faith, so I am already a stay at home mom. So I think it would be better for me to homeschool them, rather than send them to the public school and have them learning God knows what and from who.

Answer 10

Its not the kids, its those darn parents who just can't say no.

Just because a child is home schooled does not mean he/she is not gonna do that.

How many tweens do you know do that? Or are you just going by what the article said.

Look everyone is different, it depends on the person.