Shouting at boyfriend for no reason?

Question

I have found a perfect boyfriend, but for some reason I am constantly stressy with him and it upsets us both. He doesn't do anything wrong, and I can look forward to seeing him all week, then as soon as we meet I'll be in an instant mood and not want to speak to him, and it's as if he can't do anything right. Apart from me causing these problems, we are perfect for each other and I know that I'd want a future with him. I wonder if I treat him badly because so many guys have treated me badly in the past. I was like this with my last boyfriend too, and convinced myself he did my head in until I broke up with him on this basis!!

Please please please help me to chill out, i hate feeling like this and wish there was a way of snapping out of it. Has anyone else had this problem? My best friend is a bit like this with her boyfriend and she thinks we're both a little schitzophrenic - but why? And why only when it comes to relationships? Thanks a lot xx

Answer 1

you are a control freak, all men are useless bastards that is your underlying ethos. yes people are sh'its yes people do stink and you feel the urge for revenge against people who have done no harm to you. hence the ball busting and crotch stamping. take your anger out on those who deserve it! or else you'll end up alone and cold.

Answer 2

hi there just a few suggestions to your question i believe that your feelings towards your boyfriend are because you have been hurt and pushed aside in the past by other partners and you have convinced yourself that because all the others did you believe this one will to so the answer for why you are treating him so badly is because you want to hurt him because you believe it will only be a matter of weeks months before he does it to you like all the others done to you this is about learning that not all men are the same just slowly but surely let your barriers down and let him know why you react like this when you see him,and if this fella truly likes you and wants a future with you he will truly try to make you feel loved.
if this doesn't work maybe its better to spend a little time getting to no yourself and having you time and social meet men and build up your trust and confidence again socially rather then jumping in head first then when you feel ready to commit try again.

Answer 3

I think it's pretty simple, and it's even somewhere between the lines of your question: you think he's perfect, so you're deathly afraid of him leaving you.

You are either:

a. sabotaging yourself by forcing/encouraging him to leave as a result of your behavior - maybe it's better for him to leave you in a situation you control than to do it later in another situation of his own choosing; or else

b. testing his boundaries to see how much of your garbage he'll put up with before he reacts (basic toddler behavior, BTW).

Try reminding yourself that he is NOT PERFECT - indeed, nobody is. The best you can hope for is to find somebody who's perfect for you. If that's what this guy is, then he will stick around for the long haul. And if he's not, then you should gladly hold the door open for him on his way out to allow somebody better suited to you into your life.

So just calm down. If it works out, he's the right one. And if it doesn't, he wasn't!

Answer 4

Instead of over analysing why you have behaved the way you have, why not concentrate on changing your behaviour in the future?

Perhaps before you see this perfect man (lucky you LOL) you could spend a few minutes quietly visualising how you would like to be and then think before you open your mouth

Unless of course the fact that he's so perfect is actually what is so annoying :-)

Good luck

Answer 5

I know exactly how you feel. And are you the same, that you can almost look down on the situation and watch yourself, and Think, what the hell am i shouting about?

I cant explain it either. But i have sort of come to the conclusion that its about control. I suggest that when you feel it coming on, remove yourself from his company until you realise what u are about to do is stupid.
Go back in the room when you have calmed down.

If that fails, be single....until you are happy by yourself..cos ive got a feeling you arn't... am i wrong?

Answer 6

take a breck and do is say. take him to the relatives park . you're mendacity back watching the clouds in basic terms as you're watching the events on your life bypass with the aid of. each thing has readability and definition, and there is style besides. you're in a comfortable place indicating which you experience good and effective on the subject of ways issues are progressing. The sunlight feels solid and colourful butterflies encompass you. those are each and all the thoughts and opportunities which you have precise now, and that they are considerable. they'd additionally represent the human beings on your life precise now. impressive, lively and alluring, you're surrounded with the aid of effective ability from maximum each path. this could be a astonishing time for you the place you are the guy who's in fee of your life, and issues are going particularly nicely. grab a number of those opportunities!

Answer 7

I would suggest seeing a counsellor if you think its rooted in past relationship issues. It's not really something us laymen are qualified to advise you in, especially if the schizophrenia idea is true.

If you think you've found a really great guy, do him and yourself a favour and talk it through with someone who is qualified. You don't want to wreck the relationship and at that rate I can almost guarantee he will run a mile. Take care chic!

Answer 8

OH BOY. ummm..... well, it might be because you've had bad bf's in the past. You said you want a future with this guy. Look, sit down with her bf and discuss why you're having this problem {or why you might be having this problem}. I've never had this problem before, so I'm not for sure. GOOD LUCK!!!!



*smile*

Answer 9

Have you got something else in your life stressing you? woek/school / family?

Do you eat properly? Healthy diet? Try going to the gym. Take stress out there. Itll make you make you feel better.

Good luck hun!

Answer 10

Yelling comes from the environment you surrounded yourself around years earlier. Stop and smell the roses, or you will end up a old maid or no one will want to be around you.