my mother is crazy! help!?

Question

i think my mother has gone crazy. she just stopped smoking and the effects are starting to hit on her. her mmind is consistently changing, and she treatens members of our family to get what she wants. i really think she has gone crazy sometimes! i am leaving in two months to study, but i pity my dad who has to deal with it. what can i do to stop her craziness? sometimes i want to kill her. please help me. what can i do to help my mother from being so terrible? she is not really a fantastic mom either. she hires a driver to fetch us from school and a maid to cook our food. me and my sister are seventteen and eighteen now. she started slacking off from her MOM DUTIES when we were about 14. am i being selfish? or is my mother really not a good mom. the only reason i find her a good mom now is because she totally arranged my education for the best! i really appreaciate her for it, but she is forcing me to go with her plans, thinking it is the best for me.

for example, my mom recently bought a fighting fish for her toilet. it seemed bored, so i researched online and found some info to make it's like fore interesting. put a mirror next to it for an hour each day and chuck in a few female gummy fishes to keep in company. i did the mirror thing today and also put in two small femaly gummy fishes. i thought my mom would be pleasantly surprised and smile at my effort, but she went nuts and started screaming telling me to get it off and told me that it was her property and i cant do things like that to other people's property. but she is my mom! and i am her daughter!! i thought she would be happy?? did i do something wrong>

Answer 1

You obviously love your mother,but at the same terribly frustrated at the way she treats everyone. You are a grown up girl now and should be able to talk to her. Tell her, without getting too emotional or tempered, how much you love her and appreciate everything she has done for you. Tell her that you understand that quitting smoking may have had a terrible effect in her but that she is not helping herself or the people around her to help her. Try to re-assure her of your love and support, telling her that what you tried to do to her bathroom was done with the notion of trying to make her happy, and that you are sorry if she felt you invaded her privacy or that you assumed you had the right to make changes without consulting with her first. Women at this age go through a lot of changes, and sometimes think of their kids as being too selfish.

Answer 2

You need to tell her what you just posted here. I mean sure it might hurt her feelings at first. But someone needs to tell her before it gets worse. If she doesn't even work and hires a maid and a driver then that is pitiful and lazy. Ask her why she doesn't want to be a bigger part of your life. Don't let her talk you into any college plans you don't want to do. Remember, the major you choose is suppossed to train you for your life career

Answer 3

Talk to your Dad and Mom together......and maybe your sister as well. Tell your Mom honestly how you feel....dont wait, dont ignore it, and dont let your Mom go on the way she is, she needs help, perhaps there is something going on that you are not aware of? Is there mental illness in the family? The best thing is to get it out in the open, before its too late. I lost my mom recently and I wish I had taken the opportunities to tell her how much I loved her!!

Answer 4

First you need to realize that you are in no position to say weather you mom is "slacking off' on her mom duties. You are the child, she is that parent.

Does your father have a problem with how she is.? If he doesn't and you are leaving for school then you need to keep your appion to yourself.

The fish you talked about was your mothers and hers to do with what she wanted. NOT YOU,. So I can understand her being mad about. Would like her messing with your things.?

A driver and a Cook.? What you need to do is count your blessing and go off to school.

Answer 5

ciggies are a drug too so when she quit she is coming down from nicotine and other toxins...her brain is being starved from these poisons, and she is not reliant on them any more, do you know how hard it is to quit smoking? so she will be acting pretty strange, it's just like a druggie coming off drugs, her system is cleaning it's self out, she's not crazy...be there or her, quitting is very hard....good for her...also she is your mum and always will be..you only get one mother...respect her and stop winding her up...she is not going through the menopause she is trying to cope without cigs, at leas spare her the grief and stop acting like a ****...give the poor woman a break for god sakes

Answer 6

i am eighteen too. we all face dilemmas with our moms and we get angry too. but you should be patient with her as she has been with you when you were a young child. you are now at an age when you should give it back and be grateful to her. you said she just stopped smoking, may be she needs your support. may be she feels neglected [even though she might not be so in real life]. try to show your love to her and that you care about her. do her things you know she likes, and never show you are done with her like [that is it, i am better off without you]. may be she is worried or sad bec. you are leaving home. try to comfort her bec. she is your mom. and know that no one loves you more than she does. and remember; SHOW your LOVE AND CARE to her.

Answer 7

she is doing what she think best for u. How was she brought up? Is this just the way she was brought up herself? U are getting to the age where u can move out. If your dad is not happy he can always move ot too! But it's his choice

Answer 8

I think your mom may be going through the change,this would result in mood swings and irrational behaviour,i would talk to your dad and see if he cant persuade her to go and see a doctor ,who will be able to control the symptoms,with medication, and if it isnt that ,then he will be able to diagnose the reason.
either way its difficult for you,i saw my mom go through the same situation as you describe,and it will get better,but you will have to show a lot of patience.good luck.

Answer 9

it is the nicotine withdraws you have to understand quitting smoking isnt easy

Answer 10

put your emotions to the side, your mom has emotions too.her dreams are not your, her aspirations, etc.etc., she did her job when she brought you in this world, many don't, give thanks, start to accomplish what it is that you have to do and live life to it's fullest.