My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half and we have been living together ever sense. We have one child together who is almost 6 month old. I have two children from another relationship who I have visitations with on the weekends. My girlfriend use to love and adore my kids at first but lately within the last few months she has shown and said that she dislikes them but not hate them. The two kids that I have from another relationship are a 2 yr old and a 6 yr old. My 6 year old just got a cell phone from their mother and is on the phone every 10 mins while she is over my house. My girlfriend and I think it is disrespectful and an invasion of privacy. My girlfriend always says that she wishes it was just the three of us...Meaning her, I and our daughter that we have together. She says that she wishes that they were not in the picture. I am a Prince to my girlfriend & I always make her feel special so it is not that she is insecure with our relationship. Help!
2006-11-25 20:51:04 · 15 answers · asked by Frustrated Boi 757 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I kinda agree with gm, however try a couple of things first like counseling or something like that. She is being VERY selfish although I do understand her position because I've been there. But kids are kids and you need to let her know that they didn't ask to be in this situation!! It's not their fault and she needs to try and be more understanding. Let her know they are just as important to you as your daughter with her is and if she still has a hard time with this MAYBE just MAYBE you DO need to move on. But don't just break up with her"willy-nilly"...do try to get her to see your perspective and all the grown-ups need to see the kids perspective. Although it sounds like you see it pretty good maybe if you could sit down as "family" and get the kids to talk and her to talk it might help.
2006-11-25 21:03:00 · answer #1 · answered by jenniaj1973 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, your 6 year old does NOT need a cell phone. When she is at your house ask her to leave it at home. If her mom needs to talk to her she knows the number to call you. You have the right to take it away. That is not fair to you.
Two, your girlfriend is being selfish. Do not let her treat your children like this. When she took you in she took your children in as well. She may have her own child but she needs to know they are ALL you flesh and blood and you will not treat any of them different just because they have different moms.
If your girlfriend cant respect that then when it is time for you to visit with your children rent a hotel room and stay there. She needs to learn that they are children and she is an adult. Her jealousy will only ruin your relationship with her and her daughter will not fully know her own sisters.
If she cannot learn to love your children, ALL of them, equally then you honestly need to leave her. You are a father foremost and a lover second. She cannot take your daughter from you. You will be able to have the same visitation rights that you do with your other daughters.
Good luck.
2006-11-25 20:58:44 · answer #2 · answered by Summer H 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry but she knew you had kids when you got together. She shouldn't be making comments like that. What if your children overheard her.
Your daughter probably feels that they aren't wanted in your home. Even if she isn't saying anything, her actions are showing her dislike of your kids. She may be jealous that they are taking attention away from her child. You need to think about what is important to you, being a good father to 3 children or a good husband. Let your girlfriend know how you feel.
If YOU feel your daughter is disrespecting you by being on the phone, then talk to her. Tell her how it makes you feel. If your ex has a problem then you two need to sit down and talk about it.
2006-11-26 14:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by roxanne 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
To be honest, she is sounding very selfish and immature with this. You have a right and obligation to love your other kids, just as you love the baby you have with her. How dare she make your other children feel hated. What a way to grow up, knowing daddy's girlfriend doesn't like them ! They are going Thur enough right no without having to feel bad about seeing their own daddy! You need to tell her, these are your kids, you can not and will not, ignore them just because you have a baby with her. Have an arrangement with the mom of the kids so you get the kids at regular times..consistence regular times.. Just because you have a another baby, it does not mean your other children become less important. Your girlfriend needs to grow up abit..not be so pampered, and learn the gift of accepting and loving.
2006-11-26 02:08:20 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is she showing the kids that she doesn't like them or is this just what she is saying to you. give her some time. speaking from experience it is very hard to be a step mother. Put yourself in her situation. Having another women and 2 kids that know they really don't have to listen to you.....its hard. As long as she is not being mean to the kids it wouldn't hurt to give her some more time. and as far as the cell phone thing. HE IS 6!!! what was your ex thinking. You have every right to take that from him when he is on it too much. it is your house, your rules, the mom can call on a regular phone line if it is an emergency.
2006-11-25 22:38:03 · answer #5 · answered by mnm4213 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask your girlfriend a simple question...how would she feel if she found out that her daughter was disliked by the woman you were dating????? Just to put an example. It's disrespectful to you and your kids if she can't live with the fact that you have other children. You'd have to sit down and talk to her regarding this matter because your relationship is headed for disaster...BELIEVE ME!!!!!!!!
2006-11-25 21:25:13 · answer #6 · answered by Violet 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this is totally not undemanding to foretell what's going to impression your daughter and son's closeness. i don't think of you could anticipate. I understand that it somewhat is the daughter of a drug addict. the youngster herself isn't a drug addict. i'm so sorry approximately your aunt and uncle. It could be a blessing for them to a minimum of understand that this toddler has relatives who cares. Bless you! sometime, all 3 toddlers would be squabbling. the novelty of the situation would have worn off. The cousin's daughter would be having a bratty era. She would try your endurance. try not at that element to think of it substitute right into a bad thought to deliver her into your abode! it somewhat is a superb thought. And as tossed approximately as this youngster is with the aid of events in her life, your abode will nonetheless be the main good atmosphere for her, whether she and your daugher substitute into dueling devils over each little difficulty. in case you had a greater robust relatives, you will understand what i'm speaking approximately - this is the provide and take and commonplace stress of relatives life. issues get greater advantageous and worse and greater advantageous and then worse. and that they could with out this toddler on your midst.
2016-10-13 03:25:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to learn to get along with your children and face the fact that it cant be "just the three of you" if she can not do this then you need to leave her as hard as that is, you must be on those baby's side she is not worth it ask her how she would feel if someone treated your new baby that way. good luck man i feel for ya my very best friend just pulled this sh** yesterday and i couldn't believe it you have to stop it this is not ok!
2006-11-25 20:55:56 · answer #8 · answered by LesHug 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Think again dude, she as jealous as it can get, She's a B--t-h!!!You should NEVER allow someone to try to come between you and your kids. She's quit selfish and absorbed into herself. She needs to be kicked to the road. And you need to do it. Who is she to make you feel that your going to have to choose between her and your daughter together and your other kids. And she will be making you choose.
2006-11-25 21:07:49 · answer #9 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i told you before and i m telling you again....Your girlfriend is selfish, she wants your kids out of the picture, she wants you to abandon them....
You shld tell her tht whtever she said really hurted you...straight in the heart...how can you forget abt your flesh and blood, your life...your kids....i will sacrifice everything just to make my family happy and secured, even my father sacrificed everything just for us to be comfortable....we didnt have anything but now we are blessed with alot...
Get your head clear man, dont get brainwashed by your gf....tell her tht if she loves you she must apologise....if not she'll bug you allover your life...
She was good wth the kids at first, but when she had her own kid she dislikes your kids...tht sucks man...she is an artificial person...BEWARE.....
Make your priorities right....Your flesh and blood first...
Now you are in a confusing situation....You have 2 kids from 1st and 1 kid from 2nd...if you dont follow 2nd she'll completely disappear taking the baby wth her...if you abandon your 1st kids you'll completely lose them forever...
man you r screwed....y didnt know your girl good enough...its a mess now...you shld talk clearly to your gf...frank and clear.
2006-11-25 21:00:45 · answer #10 · answered by Jendralus 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋