How can a woman make sure that she ends up with a non abusive husband?

Question

How can a woman make sure that she ends up with a non abusive husband?

The reason i asked is that i noticed someone in my family is abusive. Well one of my brothers.He even called me a ***** once and i fought back telling to never EVER call me that. I fought him head on and he even tried to charge towards me to scare me. I didnt move a centimeter!

However im sorry for my sister in law. SHe has to put up with that crap. When we were kids, I would have never imagined my bro to turn out like that. He is a pessimistic person but to add the verbal abuse to it does not sit well with me.

My dad was also verbally abusive towards the end of his life. After he passed we discovered he had a huge head injury which explained his bizzare personality change. He was also controlling and he controlled everything( money wise, he would not give out a penny unless he really had to.)

I read alot about abusive relationships, the patterns, the cycles..all the different signs of a potential abusive relationship.

I also noticed a pattern in my family. The women who were stuck in such a predicament often married the man after a short period of time and didnt really get the chance to date the person. Also in the culture dating was considered a bad thing of some sort.

How can i make sure i end up with a god husband who will be kind and not abusive?

Answer 1

Nothing is for sure in life, remember that, your man could be Dr Jekyll when you marry him and turn out to be Hyde later..

You can however limit the chances that your man be abusive, you have done your research in books I see, now its time to put it into play, when you start to date, notice the way he acts with his family and siblings, with other people, like grocery clerks, while driving a car, does he go off if the traffic is slow, or there is a bad driver ahead, how does he react with people he works with, is he a one sided person (its always me me me) or is he two sided, and sees every-ones point, and adjusts his actions accordingly. How is he with kids? There are so many things, but you get the picture I hope. However, as I said, There really is no absolutely sure way, you can just limit the chances...

Answer 2

you just have to do whats best for you. You have to be in a relationship with a man that never puts your down,never grabs at you etc, and be in that relationship for a while. To break a cycle of abuse you have to be mentally prepared to always to the thing that is best for your health and happiness that is all its that easy. dont put up with any mans abusive crap. I came from a very verbally abusive household with a mother who was very submissive and left because i got hit by my father. But i married a very supportive ,loving,man who would never lay a finger on me. And that is because every guy i ever dated that didn't do me right i left them. thats it just tell your self Im worth it and no one can bring me down because i know who i am and your mind is the only thing they can never take. tell yourself that. Seek counseling if you need too. It helps alot to sort out problems and find ways to change behaviors

Answer 3

i would say to date for a long time but even thats no guarantee. some guys dont get abusive until they get that piece of paper. Just look for signs. Tolerate no abuse verbal mental or physical . And remember better to be safe than sorry.

Answer 4

If he is abusive when you date him, he will be abusive when you marry him. The first time he is abusive to you, stop dating him and find someone else.

Answer 5

if he doesnt yell at you and if he doesnt drink