Should I label myself a Wife Beater?

Question

This holiday weekend me and my wife argued it out again. I couldn't take it no more and lightly slapped her in the face. The police were called nobody went to jail luckily that put the fear in me. IF I get another assault it will provoke my probation. I am thinkin of calling the police on her now. IF she puts her hands on me for revenge is it ok to call the police? Should I divorce her for this?

Answer 1

I don't consider this wife beating, but she sure isn't making it easy on you either. If all there is in the marriage is arguing, maybe it is time to give it up. You can be happy again.

Answer 2

Any kind of physical abuse, lightly or not, is abuse. The only reason why you didn't go to jail was because there were no marks that were there that the police could have seen to arrest you for. Yes it is okay to call the police if she puts her hands on you but you shouldn't raise your hands to her again. This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, maybe you guys need to see a marriage counselor before it gets worse and someone actually does end up getting hurt. Only you can answer the question about the divorce, if it's worth working out then go to that counselor if not then go get your divorce. Good luck!

P.S. It always starts off with a light hit then maybe next time it'll move onto a push or a slight choke. It'll keep escalating and get worse and worse. Take it from me, I am a survivor of domestic abuse. If you have anger issues, go get help for that before you become an abuser yourself.

Answer 3

How about not thinking about revenge. It has a tendency to bite you in the butt. Just as you have experienced already. My advise would be for you to leave. Because if your feeling this way then you can count on the police being called on the both of you sooner or later. So why tempt the fates so to speak. Just give yourself some breathing room and get away to a friends house or relatives. This also proves that you are trying to cooperate and distance yourself from the situation. So this sheds a good light on you if you should go to court. But really, if the relationship has broke down this much, then just get out while you can experience freedom. Before you end up behind bars and unable to enjoy freedom itself.

Answer 4

don't EVER put ur hand on a woman.. .no matter what. it's called Restraint. physicaly force is a Temporary, and unfair usage of frustration that does more than just sting.. it creates mental fear , or hate, or countless NEGATIVE things in the relaitonship that will be even harder to deal w/ than the original problems themselves.

next, u COULD try to work things out w/ her. go to a counselor, do ANYTHING. u should never think u are right to hit someone w/o trying to work it out first, go to a counselor, have mediators, even Friends come in and give advice, etc.

and u know, if u are at the point where all u care about is hurting ur wife, making her look bad, getting revenge, the love and happiness and healthiness of the relationship is SO WEAK. u need to start working on that instead of caring about getting revenge..that's what loving someone is. u are a Husband: u vowed to take care of her, to do what is Best for her. u need to do that, in order for her to do HER job, which is to support, care for, and nurture u and ur children. remember, if u don't do ur job, how the hell can she do hers???? if u are truly a MAN, u will do what is BEST for the marriage. and if that means letting her go, divorcing her, so be it. whatever u can do to make thigns Better for her and yourself. that is being a Man. .not putting a hand to her.

Answer 5

Don't put your hands on each other. If she tries to hit you, turn and step outside for a while. Go for a walk, cool down, and come back when the heat of the moment is over.

Don't involve the police for petty arguments. That's just ugly. I wouldn't call a "light slapper" a wife beater, but remember that what you consider "light" might actually hurt. If not physically, at least emotionally. Move on, don't slap her again.

Try to work it out. Most arguments resolve themselves. Don't think of divorce unless this ocurrs often or without reason, and if there's no other choice.

Answer 6

men and women should not be hitting each other, no matter what the situation (other than in self-defense by an attacker, etc). i don't think you're a "wife-beater" YET. but you have the potential. you both need to get into couples and/or personal counseling, and anger management. healthy adults talk things through, and know how to walk away when it starts to get out-of-hand. i hope there are no children involved...screaming, yelling, and arguing are just as emotionally abusive and traumatic for children then hitting is. if either of you are not willing to do some work in your relationship, then you need to seperate. whatever happens, you need to get some counseling and anger mgmt for yourself, or you will keep getting involved in the same kinds of relationships. oh, and keep the police out of this if you can, they have real work to do other than breaking up your squabbles. i wish you the best of luck with this.

Answer 7

You need help!! Anger management. If you cant find a way to resolve your issues w/o it getting physical either on your part or hers. Then you both need some kind of counseling. Are you in love w/ your wife. Think of when you got married and the reasons why you chose to be w/ her. Calling the police on her won't resolve the issue of why it leads you to raise your hand when you have a misunderstanding. Good Luck. Remember, be a gentleman and its OK to give in some time.

Answer 8

If u have to ask then u already know the answer. And I noticed the "another assault charge" apparently u didnt learn ur lesson last time, either. Bout time something put the scare in u

Answer 9

NEVER HIT YOUR WIFE!!!
you should try to talk it out. Talk calmly even if she is yelling. if you have a bad relationship with her than if she hits you for revenge purposes then you should call the police. If it is a stronger relationship wade it out and let her waist her energy and blow off steam.
I hope that helps

Answer 10

Have you tried counseling and anger management classes for both of you? That might be less drastic than someone landing in jail or getting a divorce.

Best Wishes,

Sue