Am I being overreactive?

Question

Earlier today, my boyfriend, his parents and I were having a conversation and somehow the fact that one of my co-workers used to be a stripper came up. I mentioned that my co-worker had told me she made extremely good money stripping - over a thousand dollars a week - stripping, and how outrageous and possibly unbelievable that seemed.

My boyfriend then said something along the lines of, "Oh no, some strippers really can make that much money. I used to know a stripper, and let's just say that she looked REALLY good...and she made a ton of money doing it."

The comment really upset me. I hid it at the time because we were around his parents, like I said earlier, and meant to bring it up to him later, but then it slipped my mind. I'm wondering if I'm just being overreactive with how much the comment upset me? Do I have a right to be upset with how my boyfriend was talking about this stripper? I want to know before I bring it up to him, because I'm afraid of seeming easily jealous.

Answer 1

All women are jealous, regardless of how in love or attractive they are. Just tell him point blank that you dont appreciate him talking about other women like that. Just make sure that you say it calmly, or he will have an adverse reaction and think that you are trying to control him.

Answer 2

I suppose if it's the first time offense, just let it go.

Especially if they aren't around each other there is no harm in it. It's in the past and I'm sure you have had things in your past that you can justify as "in the past".

If there are other things or it's a pattern, bring it up as "curiousity" not questioning or interrogation at a time when you are getting along.

Just mention it and ask where he was coming from. Or what he meant by it. Give him a chance to explain ... or to truly say "uhhhhhhhhh I have no idea. I was just talking. What do you mean what did I mean? I don't know. I didn't mean anything/????" because in his mind he could have just been stating a fact or trying to support his story.

If it's an ongoing issue find out what is behind it. what his intentions are. Maybe he doesn't realize you are so sensitive.

If you are too sensitive (like me :P) then write down or take mental note of all the things he DOES DO and run through those when you feel a twinge of jealousy coming on.

If he is a jerk back to you or talks about other girls all the time it's time for a bigger conversation or to push away from him a little bit and see what his response is.

Best of luck!

Answer 3

I'm not sure what made you upset.
Was it the fact that he knew a stripper? You know one too, so that should not upset you.
Was it the fact that he said she looked really good? I think that comment was appropriate because strippers do make better money if they look good.
Did you get the feeling he knew her intimately? I could see that being upsetting if indeed he was talking about an ex with you and his parents, but first you need to find out if in fact that was the case.

In short, from the details you posted, I don't see anything upsetting really, but maybe you meant something you didn't post.

Answer 4

lemme break it down for you. The stripper is nice and the stripper may be beautiful....even exotic. That's a fact you might have to deal with.....however, Men don't bring strippers home to mom and pop. That's one thing (for most men) they're not good enough for it seems. You're the one he brought home to his parents......if your self esteem is low remember this- you probably have a better chance of seeing a ring then his stripper friend. Should you bring it up no. Let him know you're better than the stripper. You show that by not letting it bother you. Confidence in ones self is attractive

Answer 5

Women are jealous beings and to think that your man has found another woman attractive is sickening. I don't think he even realized how he said what he said but call him on it if it bothers you. Ask him why the hell he described this girl this way, did they have a thing or something like that? Then let him know that you felt uncomfortable when he said it and how would he feel if you described another man that way. Then after that actually give him an example and say "what if I said that this guys was ..." and then it'll open his eyes. I found that giving guys examples and flipping the story to have them in your shoes works quite well. If it's bothering you, let him know because even if these people tell you to let it go you and I both know that it'll still be in there festering so let him know what's going on and work on it from there. Good luck!

Answer 6

Yes!"" you are overreacting he was just making conversation on or of the topic being discussed at the time why would you need to feel jealous of this he is only your boyfriend not you property , he did have a life before he met you and will continue after if you start with jealousy in you're relationship then there is no trust towards him and you are either not sure of you're self or you are of the female type who believes I got him he is only mine and can't do anything without me .Bad way to go.

Answer 7

u have the right to feel upset at anything u want no one can tell u what u should feel upset for i know how ur feeling because sometimes my boyfriend will say something about a girl and i get jealous its normal to get jealous but i use to yell at him and be like WHY DID U SAY THAT or U THINK SHES PRETTIER THAN ME but the truth is guys do think that other people are attractive and so do girls but i wouldnt make a big deal to your boyfriend because he did not do anything wrong but i would sit him down and say hunny that kinda made me upset what u said at dinner tonite not yelling and throwing stuff at his head and im sure u could sit and talk about why it made u upset and im sure he wont want to hurt u no more

Answer 8

it is someone he knew in the past - even if you brought it up you can't change that. And yes - she probably did look really good - but he probably thinks you too could make a lot of money stripping because you look even better. For the sake of saving an argument - I'd let it go.

Answer 9

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting,the violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty and so is your head
Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you screwed up my life
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming
my love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"




just imagine him sayin this to the "stripper"

Answer 10

Girl.... I know how you feel. Its totally okay to be annoyed, nobody likes their boyfriend talking about other girls, strippers at that. and it was especially tacky for him to bring it up in front of parental units. But he is dating YOU. If he talks more about it, I would say something about it, just because it's disrespectful o you as his girlfriend. But it is probably best not to bring that instance up, because, as sad as it sounds, he IS a guy, and guys are just asses like that. But I totally feel ya, you're not alone.