A man dies and goes to Hell where he is greeted by the devil:
Devil: Hey, why are you bumming out?
Man: If you died and went to Hell, you''d be bumming out too.
Devil: Hell isn''t what you think it is. It's fun down here. Say, do you drink?
Man: Sure, I love to drink. Why?
Devil: Well, you''re gonna love Mondays then. Because on Mondays, all we do here is drink. Hell, we have whiskey, tiquila, rum, vodka, all the booze you want to drink. We drink til we puke then we drink more.
Man: Ah, that sounds great.
Devil: Do you smoke?
Man: Damn right I do.
Devil: Cool! You''re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world. Smoke all you want. You don''t have to worry about getting cancer because you''re already dead anyways.
Man: No ****!
Devil: You like gambling?
Man: Hell yeah!
Devil: Great! On Wednesdays, we have gambling night here in Hell. We have slot machines, roulette, craps, black jack, horse racing, you name it, we got it, and we just recently opened up a new pai gow poker table.
Man: Hmmmmmmmmmmm, I never played pai gow poker before.
Devil: Now you can. You like to get stoned?
Man: I love getting stoned! You mean...
Devil: That''s right man, because on Thursdays, it''s stoner night here in Hell! Help yourself to a huge bowl of crack, smoke a joint the size of a nuclear sub, do all the drugs you want and you don''t have to worry about overdosing because you''re already dead anyhow.
Man: Awesome! I never thought Hell was one swinging place!
Devil: Are you gay?
Man: Uh, no.
Devil: Oooh, you''re gonna hate Fridays!
2006-11-25 18:57:11 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
the best this morning so far 10/10 lol
2006-11-25 19:35:07 · answer #1 · answered by dave p 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hell Jokes One Liners
2017-01-16 14:44:21 · answer #2 · answered by leatherwood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That just about sums up 99% of Politicians, its a pity we haven't the money to put it on all the bill boards in America for the coming election, and then sent over to the English for their election in 2010, they need it more than the Americans.
2016-05-23 03:30:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
and yet another excellent joke 10/10
2006-11-26 01:33:57 · answer #4 · answered by ploppy pants 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always thought Friday was poets day !
2006-11-25 23:50:24 · answer #5 · answered by Scotty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hurrah for non PC jokes!
2006-11-25 20:02:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
there had to be a horrible downside love the joke
2006-11-25 19:09:54 · answer #7 · answered by iris 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
great i like that one
2006-11-25 19:09:02 · answer #8 · answered by jeffrey r 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
very funny
2006-11-25 19:33:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
glad you made it girl;y man.
2006-11-25 18:58:27 · answer #10 · answered by ihateacaf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋