It seems as though all the relationships I have been in, I am either getting hurt or hurting the other person. and even in a long term relationship, I am still vulnerable, and end up expecting more than I get. Do I always have to be on the defensive? Even if I am in a settled relationship? Must I always guard my heart?
2006-11-25 18:44:16 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's only natural to be careful. The heart is a fragile thing...but if there is no risk, there is no way you will take the next step. Don't look at dating as a pathway to heartbreak. Look at it as a fun way to gain a relationship with someone, don't thow all your feelings in at once. I things don't work out, there s always more guys. And remember, no pain, no gain. Gotta make the leap sometime!
2006-11-25 18:49:42 · answer #1 · answered by Tori H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, you have to not take it so seriously. You have to not wear your heart on your sleeve and set the firewall not so high. If you are holding onto hurt, you will feel hurt first and a small amount of anything else. Let the hurt, emotional baggage go first, and try to find yourself--It sounds like you use relationships to bandage whatever injuries you get, those injuries never heal because you never resolve the issues, you just throw them on the backburner and go to the next relationship. Time to start cleaning out some pots, love.
2006-11-25 18:52:02 · answer #2 · answered by Not In Kansas? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good to guard your heart but not at the expense of ruining the relationship... try trusting for once and knowing that everyone is not out to break your heart... you need to put your guard down and except the fact that not every relationship is meant to work out.. that's how you find the one your meant to be with, by letting others in even if your afraid to and it makes you stronger inside...
2006-11-25 19:10:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, don't be defensive! It will push the person you're with further away! Everyone is vunerable in love an is open to being hurt! Love is a precious thing you should be willing to help, not guard against!
2006-11-25 19:13:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is good to guard your heart, but also it is good to have loved, than never loved at all, we all will experience heartache, if we build a wall, how will people find out if they love or not, grow from your heartaches , and learn, sometimes we need to let the guard down, and yes you could still get hurt, but with guard on all the time, we still get hurt , good luck, i just recently had my heart broke, wish this on no one
2006-11-25 19:05:09 · answer #5 · answered by srw w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you will find someone eventually that will give what they get in a relationship. I dont think you should ever need to 'guard' your heart in a happy relationship...
Hope this helps...
2006-11-25 18:47:13 · answer #6 · answered by G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do the same thing and I don't think it's getting me anywhere.When you meet a good person who wants your heart you r unwilling to give it to them for this reason.You could let a good person pass you by.Try slowly opening up a little more but be wary of heart-breakers or emotion pranksters because you don't want to start opening up to the wrong person and he hurts you ruining it for everybody.Try it hope it helps.
2006-11-25 18:56:30 · answer #7 · answered by ~Irresistable~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
exactly right... we've all been burnt before. All that 'stuff' teaches us how to treat other people, and how we like to be treated. It's how we learn about relationships (what we like, how to react, what bothers us, how to communicate better, etc.).
The learning process sux sometimes, but its natural and normal.
Just dont let it make you mean. You'll find the right one. Til then, you'll be on guard.
2006-11-25 19:03:19 · answer #8 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the more you put in the relationship, the more it will hurt coming out.
it's gambling. your best bet is to have fun with your female friends until you have no choice to stay with a guy because you can't live your life without him
2006-11-25 18:49:30 · answer #9 · answered by Jesse 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not do this. i know because i tried it a few years back. Aside from making you depressed and moody you will not be able to hold out on it very long. My advice to you is to keep on trying.
2006-11-25 18:50:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋