He and I have been dating a year - and I couldn't be more crazy about him. I still get a little rush when I'm driving over to his house. He isn't the most touchy-feely guy, but it seems that he's less eager to, say, hold my hand in public (nothing PDA, of course!); kiss me hello/goodbye, etc. than when we began dating.
Tonight we went to dinner and a movie and when we got back to his house I went to hug him and started to kiss him on his neck and he did reciprocate - just stood there. I got annoyed (in my head) so I gathered my things and politely made my exit. I might be thinking in an overly sensitive fashion - but though I'd throw this one out to the guys...
It's tough to really outline the situation in a short space so I'll just say this:
After dating a woman for a while do stop doing the things you did at the beginning (hand holding, caressing) because you think "she's hooked, now I can relax" or because you become less interested.
2006-11-25 17:47:24 · 9 answers · asked by G_Elisabeth 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also, if I decide his behavior has made a change for the worse, should I bring it up?
Is it possible he's slacking off b/c he's comfortable and doesn't even realize this? Or should I ask him point blank if his interest and desire in me is waning?
2006-11-25 17:48:35 · update #1
You guys are awesome - I'm enjoying reading all your responses!!
I have dated many jerks in the past - and had been content doing the no-strings/no-emotions bit. But I stopped - took a break from men for a while, and then D and I started dating and, wow, he was/is amazing.
It's definately possible that as I've opened up emotionally and allowed myself to become "ok" with caring and being cared for, my needs and wants have readjusted.
I should definately contemplate this - thanks everyone for your honesty and answering my question!
2006-11-25 18:08:43 · update #2
I think that "relaxing" might be a small part of it, but the bigger concern would be that he and you have different needs as far as being affectionate.
I know from experience that you DO relax as you've been in a relationship but touching, being affectionate and expressing this are all unique to each individual and their upbringing.
The best option is to TALK about it, without pointing a finger, but asking why he behaved like that, if your level of affection makes him uncomfortable and what he prefers. Base your decision on how willing he is to compromising and considering your needs.
2006-11-25 17:56:41 · answer #1 · answered by R J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like an intelligent young woman, so I find it odd that
you would be asking others about this.
If, after dating a guy for a year, an evening out for dinner and a
movie, lots less hugs, kisses and holding hands.
Then to slack off when you try to kiss his neck, Hell NO it's not
because he's gotten lazy or comfortable.!!!!
It's simple dear, 'He doesn't care for you like you do him', and in
all reality, he's probably lost interest.
When a man "really" loves you (or cares deeply) then he shows
it anywhere, any time.
Sure some men are more 'conservative' than others, but these
men (to me) have some serious emotional issues.
If he can't take you in his arms, kiss you, and tell you he loves you, then get rid of him.
2006-11-25 18:08:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy, this is the wrong question to ask me.....
Let me first preface it by saying if my girl came on to me kissy and huggy, I wouldn't turn that down, at all. That said!....
You must be doing something different..... your question suggests that HE is doing something wrong or HE has to fix something. I suspect however that there may be bigger issues with you. Many times guys will be like this because they either feel that their women, don't respect them, don't care about their feelings or don't care about what they think, and therefore are feeling ignored emotionaly. So I'd start there.... is he feeling those things? If so you should change something.
Of course the above does not apply if he's an a**hole, if he is, then dump him.
2006-11-25 17:57:43 · answer #3 · answered by Say it like it is 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this but is it possible he has something else on the side going on.You shouldn't have to be made to feel like your bothering him with affection.The sad truth of the matter is most of us girls are attracted more to those aSSholes for some reason.I finally grew up and realized I'm worth more and so are you.Find you a man where the affection is 100% from both sides.Don't take any crap.Do it for womankind.I promise you if you take a stand for yourself they'll all come running.(including your boyfriend!)good luck
2006-11-25 17:57:23 · answer #4 · answered by lady2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to someone who has been in a relationship for several years and you will get the truth about PDA.An occasional hug or kiss in public is more realistic than when courting in the first year.
2006-11-25 18:13:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't ask him point blank because that might constitute an overreaction. You might try asking a teasing question about it like, "What, no cuddle?" Obviously, if this kind of behavior increases, you can be more direct with him.
2006-11-25 17:56:32 · answer #6 · answered by scumboot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is not interested in you anymore, move on find someone who loves you and adores you totally, you dont need to get stuck with such a boring guy
2006-11-25 17:52:16 · answer #7 · answered by haringmarumo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he stayed the same you just changed
2006-11-25 17:50:46 · answer #8 · answered by NOT IN USE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
better do something than nothing..
2016-05-23 03:25:57 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋