I am depressed, and loosing everything because of it, I need someone to talk to..?

Question

I have always concidered myself outgoing and happy... so did all of my friends, but that was in high school back at my home country.
Im a sophomore in college now I have been here for a while, I ;ove it here, I have everything, I have wonderfull parents, a perfect boyfriend, and getting straight A's at school..

... but I cant stop crying about I dont know what every single night. Its drivingme insane, and my boyfriend... I try not to be around my family aas much, because I am pissed about who knows what all the time.. and I know I m not a pleasant company..

My bf tells me that I am miserable all the time, and we end up fighting about it a lot.. He loves me very much .. but I know he hates what Ive turned into .. I hate what Ive turned into ...

I hate myself and I dont know how to stop being like this ... I do workout, I dont have friends, and even if I did ... I dont want everyone to think Im pathetic stupid and helpless... Im pretty much doing that myself...

1) Mom wont work... she acts as if she was 14 ...
2) I dont think I could be any busier.. Im premed double mayoring in nutrition and chemistry, and I work when Im not at school.
3) and please dont comment if you are going to be an a**hole like "superior" what a douche

Thanks so much to all the people who posted here... I really appreciated it ...
Thank you!

 

Answer 1

we are in the same boat, im really a happy,jolly person all of most of the time when im around, i am active at school, im even the editor in chief, i dont have a boyfriend because perhaps im also like you
i cry a lot at night when im alone and i dont know why, i dont know why i feel so helpless when im alone and i cant stop crying and i dont know what is wrong with me
people know that im a strong individual, i dont want them to see me as someone stupid, i want them to know that i can get on with life without much help,i cant even say i love you or take care to my friends
you see we have built this wall around us, we are afraid to love so much, to expect so much, you have a boyfriend but you have doubts, will he stay , will he be there for you, you dont know,
we like to be happy , but then we dont want to risk ourselves and our emotions.
we end up being miserable all of the time because we expect a perfect world, yet we dont get it.cause there is no perfect world, you know he loves you very much, but you dont know if you love him that way too, i think you need someone who can get you out of your shell instead of just someone who would always be there but does not get you inspired,
i also terribly hate myself, i think im evil most of the time, that i dont want to feel , or that sometimes i just feel so empty i have no emotions, if i ever do have emotions its just plain sadness, guilt, or selfish want.
i dont know how to stop that feeling, i just do know that perhaps we need to face the real world and stop being a coward, we should love people even though we will get hurt, we should try new things even though it means we could fail, we need to take a chance in life, eventhough we could possiblu get nowhere, and once in a while we must put our guard down and let other people see through us that we are also weak, that we loose ourselves and that we need help.

Answer 2

I see, you say everything is perfect in your life could that be the reason you've become what you say you've become? By this I mean you've hypnotized yourself into thinking your life is perfect so what is there to gain? Life is no way perfect no matter how you look at it so do not convince yourself it is. Though I am just telling you based off what I am getting from your explanation.

Look, I understand things can just seem really weird and terrible when they aren't and you realize they are not the solution is not in medicine I guarantee it.

I suggest getting some friends you can go hang out with, friends aren't going to think your pathetic, stupid or helpless, if they are a real friend. Friends are there for you, sure having a boyfriend is someone to hang out with you need other people too, not in the everyday sense, but on a more every once in a while basis.

I have to admit I have a great life but sometimes i feel myself feeling really down for no reason, you just have to fight through the days sometimes, even when the depressions last for weeks at a time sometimes months(at least that is how long it lasted for me, time period wise anyway.) Medicine is not the answer for depression, please do not decide to go down that path.

We tend to throw medicine at whatever is causing us problems now days, and let me tell you from experience medicine makes the problem worse 99.9% of the time in my experience.

Answer 3

You have so much going for you, more than many others, Maybe you need to talk to someone else not your family or your boyfriend. Maybe a pastor or a counselor . You are getting yourself a wreck and it not going to get better until you take hold of it, and see someone. If you can talk to your Mom then do so. Your young and you should be having the time of your life now. So pick yourself up and get help you deserve it.

Answer 4

First of all, dont pay attention to the negative energy around you,
-Second, Depression is anger turned inward, so if you are angry about things and arent expressing your hurt and betrayal of course in a constructive way, you are hurting yourself. It never hurts to talk to a counselor. A lot of the times, when we have everything, we tend to feel lost because we might lose balance of positive and negative life experiences. It's like if you dont yawn, you wont fee refreshed. Hope this helps some. You can email me if you like.

Answer 5

Depression is easily treatable now days. So please for you, see a doctor so they can help you out. They also may recommend that you see a counselor who you can talk to. Whatever you do, don't start shutting out your family and boyfriend. Since you say you have wonderful parents and boyfriend, turn to them to talk to to let them know how you feel. Just tell them that you need someone right now to just lend an ear. You can't just bottle it up inside you cuz that is not healthy at all. If you need someone to just vent to please email me, I would be more than willing to listen. I will lend you that shoulder to cry on and a I am a really good listener. Please go see a doctor though. You may need some medication to help you with your depression. Don't hesitate to email me at anytime. I'll be there for you if you need it! Good luck to you!

Answer 6

SOMETHING... is setting you into crying jags every night. It could be 'just' a chemical imbalance (such as bi-polar) or it could be (or have) deeper psychological roots...

Since you mentioned you have great parents, a straight-A'er, yor problems sound symptomatic of a chemical imbalalnace in the brain.

Make an appointment Monday morning to see a doctor!

Please seek professional medical assistance quickly!

I sincerely hope you find the relief from your self-imposed torture soon!

Good luck!

Answer 7

Go talk to your pastor. If you do not have a church talk to a counselor at the school. Another great source of information is your mother. She loves you and will want to help you through this difficult situation. Moms are great.

Answer 8

Depression is a REAL medical problem and you need to get yourself to a Doctor. Normally we all become depressed now and then but if it lasts as long as you claim its time for help.

Answer 9

There are meds that will help you but you must talk to a Dr. It will only get worse without treatment. It is like a broken leg. It won't get better by itself and you can't help it.

Answer 10

Get some help. Talk to an older person who you respect. You can't love and care for others, till you love and care for yourself. :) Good luck! :) Arum