My younger cousin has a severe drinking problem and I am really close to him. We grew up like siblings. Just for reference hes 18 and I am twenty. My whole family knows he's drinking, but they don't realize how bad it is. I am scared he's going to hurt someone as in driving while drunk, but I can't force him to go to rehab and neither can his parents because he's eighteen and 6'6". I need advice. I've tried talking to him and I've supported him through AA once already. I've even threatened him to call the cops if I even hear he's drinking and driving. Nothing is stoping him. Please help.
2006-11-25 17:25:05 · 13 answers · asked by espressoaddict22 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My cousin is also turned out to be a drug addicted mess. I felt that by being close to her I was enabling her behavior. So I told her to stop her habit or I would never talk to her again. She chose to use instead. Its sad but better to leave a person alone when they are old enough to know better... tough love.
2006-11-25 17:40:30 · answer #1 · answered by Mom_of_two 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this situation is as bad as you say it is then stop threatening to call the police if you know for certain that he's drinking and driving....DO IT. It is called tough love. Think how you would feel if he was driving drunk and killed himself and/or someone else. You would not only be grieved over his loss but you would feel guilt because you could have done so meting to prevent it. And you should go the other members of the family and let them know how bad it is. Chances are they do know, they just don't know what to do about it. There is a good program on A&E called Intervention; maybe you could watch it and get some ideas for an intervention of your own. Of course it would be wise to have an interventionist to help you do this. If you went to AA with him then you probably know his sponsor and he could help you figure it out. I know this for sure...threats will get you nowhere; following through with you threats will at least make him believe you when you speak. I will pray for your guidance in this situation. Go and Do. He is a young man with a whole life ahead of him to be in this condition.
2006-11-26 01:45:13 · answer #2 · answered by valducci53 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE listen carefully,
I was married to an alcoholic, and in all honesty there's very little you can do.
If you've already tried to talk to him and he hasn't listened, then
thats his way of saying 'mind your own business'.
One thing you should do is, get a book on alcoholism and you will be amazed at what selfish, uncaring people they are.
They are mad at the world for one reason or another, usually
a poor family upbringing.
Yes, you should call the cops on him when he's drinking and driving, moreso for any other unlucky soul who he might kill.
Talk to his parents somehow, drop hints, but tell them something.
If he continues to drink the way he does, then back off.
Be there as his cousin, but don't try to be his savior or knight
in shining armor.
Most alcoholics have to hit ROCK BOTTOM, before they really make a change sadly to say.
My husband and I ended up getting a devorce because he never
really wanted to quit drinking and stop all the madness.
2006-11-26 01:52:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can force him to stop if he doesn't want to stop. I would not get into a car with him if he has been drinking and I would take his keys away before he hurts himself or someone else.Just let him know that you care about him and be there for him. Keep encouraging him to go to the meetings with you,he needs help.
2006-11-26 01:29:43 · answer #4 · answered by Shortydeb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it seems you have tried all the obvious stuff but it isnt working. maybe you should see what else is gong on in his life that could be depressing him(such as a break-up, friend passed away, bad grades,etc) and talk to him about it. ask him to go out with you sometime and go do something that doesnt involve alcohol. my cousin was an alcoholic for year and he started to collect things and hes hasnt drank for 2 years now....maybe help him find a hobbie.
2006-11-26 01:36:21 · answer #5 · answered by nikki12022000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't threaten to call the cops. Call the cops if he's drunk and driving before hurts himself and others.
2006-11-26 01:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by DavidNH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when he is driving drunk turn him into the cops and let them know what is plate number is maybe if he gets a dui and a ticket for underage drinking he would learn his lesson
2006-11-26 01:27:51 · answer #7 · answered by Kim Wise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not much more that you can do but continue to offer hime help. There is that old saying that they have to hit rock bottom before they get help, and they must be the one who wants to change!
Hang in there and good luck.
2006-11-26 01:27:37 · answer #8 · answered by MyName 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i must say you are very considerate about him ..and which he doesnt know at all . you should talk to him with his parents frankly about the matter and also that you care for him a lot .
you should not at all threaten him to call the police .
2006-11-26 01:31:19 · answer #9 · answered by just mee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him to a Hospital A & E. let him see the results of this lunacy for himself!
2006-11-26 01:27:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋