My bf recently agreed to help me pay for my first car. I'm excited because I've never had my own car. The car is my dream car. A 2007 Mazda RX-8. However when we got to the dealership he told me he wouldn't help me pay for the car because he thought it was too flashy. I'm like are you kidding me? He said he doesn't want his girlfriend to have a car that draws too much attention. However I hate all the cars he's suggested. Now he drives a escalade and his sister drives a mustang. I'm frustrated because I would love to go the "independent woman" route and pay for the damn thing myself but I can't afford it. Am I wrong for being angry at him for not helping me with the car? And how can I change his mind?
2006-11-25 17:21:31 · 11 answers · asked by Elizabeth C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Need I clarify "helping" me pay. I have a lot of money saved for this car but his "helping" was the only reason I was going to get the car. He was all for it until he saw it.
2006-11-25 17:35:46 · update #1
I'm mad because he's a hypocrite.His pimped out Escalade is pretty darn flashy. I see the hoochie mamas thronging around him when we go out. He loves getting attention from his car. Maybe I am being unreasonable, but I at least have a right to be upset.
2006-11-25 17:56:55 · update #2
I don't think you should rely on him to help you pay for your car. If you two break up, it's possible that he will discontinue making payments on the car and/or ask you to reimburse him. That scenario would not be pleasant, because, as you say, you can't afford this car on your own.
The bottom line is that it is HIS money, not yours, and he has the right to choose how he spends it. He is under no obligation to spend his money on your car if he doesn't agree with your choice, no matter what he might have promised you before. You should consider yourself lucky that he has even offered to help you pay for your car in the first place--a lot of girls don't have boyfriends who are that generous or financially stable. So quit whining already!
If you can't afford your dream car, then you should consider getting a used car or a cheaper car. That would be the most responsible and mature thing to do, in my opinion.
P.S. I do think you have a right to be upset. He should not have been so quick to promise to help you buy that specific car without doing any research on it beforehand. He promised you and got your hopes up, but now he wants to back out for silly reasons, and you're disappointed and angry. That's understandable. However, I still think that considering the fact that you two aren't married or anything, mixing your finances together like this is too dangerous. If he really does pay for part of your car, it could be the source of a lot of fights down the road--actually, it looks as if you two have already started fighting about it, and you haven't even bought the car yet! I think it's better for you to buy a car within your own budget and forget about his contribution. How much would you enjoy driving your dream car if your boyfriend were resentful all the time and if it were a source of constant fights? If you go at it alone, he won't have that ammunition to use against you in the future, and you'll have your very own car that you bought all by youself with no strings attached. Wouldn't that be a good feeling? :)
2006-11-25 17:44:39 · answer #1 · answered by kiki 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a jerk. I agree, if he leaves you then you'll be stuck paying for what he was going to... but he should be helping you pay for what you want. Maybe ask him for a loan instead of him giving you money (if that's how its working). That is one hell of an excuse for him to back out... it's dumb! But I say try reasoning with him and letting him know why you really want this car. If not then maybe you'll have to settle for something else now, or waiting until you can pay for it yourself. I'm sure there are leasing options. I wish I could say more, but I don't like the sounds of your boyfriend Hun, he doesn't sound too promising. I don't know, maybe he's jealous that you'll have a better car than him and he made up some lame excuse. You do have the right to be mad because that is no excuse not to let you have the car you really love. Good luck.
2006-11-25 21:22:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you need his help, then his opinion counts too. He does have a say as to where his money goes. You two should find a compromise. A car both of you can agree on. Maybe a 2005 Mazda, or something like that. If you refuse to compromise... then you have a lot of b1ow jobs to give! Good luck!
2006-11-25 17:27:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well wait a minute - hes a boyfriend - you want him to help you pay for this car - you cant afford it yourself. Look at those facts - hes a boyfriend - he can leave at any time - you cant afford it - what would you do then? He wont help you pay for it because its flashy - thats a stupid excuse - he sounds like a jerk - like this relationship isnt going to last.
Dont get stuck with something you cant afford babe! : )
Just my opinion!
~mol
2006-11-25 17:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by mollylollypop 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do you enable him watch porn? the situation right here the comparable standards could be pressed on the two events, If he watches porn, i don't think of he can make it easier to recognize what you're able to do. think of roughly it, if he's getting exhilaration from something different than you, (not cheating yet an merchandise) like porn, i think of it is going to be allowed. Now this would bypass any wrong way too? Do you tell him that he can not watch porn?
2016-10-13 03:17:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sounding pretty shallow, don't let a thing like a car turn your head, life is too short. Live within your budget and feel proud of it.
2006-11-25 17:27:48 · answer #6 · answered by Kat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is wrong to say one thing and then change his mind, so hey just leave him and get another boyfriend that will pay...lol....
2006-11-25 17:24:41 · answer #7 · answered by qdrama1956 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well beggars cant b choosers...
since hes payin its really up 2 him but y dont u try givin him the same speech u gave us? (just a thought)
2006-11-25 17:24:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't of backed out, I think you too can come to a compromise or something.
2006-11-25 17:47:17 · answer #9 · answered by Shade 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get it you r not married so go 4 it
2006-11-25 17:24:18 · answer #10 · answered by NOT IN USE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋