how can i make myself better ?

Question

I've had this anger problem, my parents say its from being premature or something, but they spoiled me big time, but its not wen i dont get something i get mad, i get so upset over te stupidest things... like when my bf yells at me for something i dont really get mad rigt off the get go , but when he keeps going i just get so mad and its almost like i dont kno what im doing, i just need to kno what is wrong with me, and i also have a big problem with trusting people, and i've only been hurt big time by trust once which was like 4 years ago but that wouldnt bother me now would it? or do you think im just overreacting, i've been through 2 cars in 3 months, i just get so mad i just floor it . 3 days ago i finally came to my senses and turned my license in . please tell me what i can do to start trusting people and to not get so mad all te time, its like im in a bad mood 95% of the time

Answer 1

Scotty,
Probably news you do not want to hear... but, get yourself to a licensed mental therapist now. If you live in the US, look in your phone book's Yellow Pages. You can also find a psychiatrist and have he or she recommend a therapist for you. Usually, therapists work in the same building/offices as the doctor.

Please don't let this upset you. I have been where you are and I can tell you my life now is the best it's ever been. My father was an alcoholic and always bailing on me... I did not trust anyone in my life. I could love someone with all my heart; but, how could they feel the same way about me? My self-esteem was so low, I could not even imagine that someone could love me with all their heart.

Anger. Oh, anger. This *may* (I am not a doctor or professional; just a patient) be a sign of depression or other mental illness. PLEASE do not let the words "mental illness" freak you out. It is so very, very sad that in many circles in the US that the words "mental illness" can be seen only as a bad thing and is stigmatized.

I have depression and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). How do I explain this? I am not *proud* I have these disorders; but I am glad that I have been diagnosed and I am treated and on medicine that has changed my life.

Medicine alone **does not** change you and make you better. Med's can do the chemical part in your body; but therapy and talking and working your problems out is what will make you a success.

When I first started going to therapy, I was embarrassed and I told no one. (now my family and close friends know and they are completely cool with it and support me 200%) It was also difficult learning to trust my therapist (which I did over time and because of her I am a changed person). However, after the talking starts, so many parts of your life can be healed I am very healthy and no longer see my therapist; however I do see my doctor every six months for check-ups.

Medication may or may not be for you. However, your therapist can help you learn how to deal with your anger issues and other issues that affect you everyday.

When my therapist told me (this was after several visits and consultations) that she thought medications would really help me, I was devastated. I couldn't believe that I had to take a pill to make my brain work... that was my thinking at the time. Then she said to me, "If I told you, you were diabetic, would you be embarrassed to take the necessary medicines to make you well again?" Wow. It all clicked!

Again, anti-depressant meds are not the end-all and be-all. At first, all must be carefully monitored and you must continue with therapy. It's hard work but it pays off in more ways you can imagine.

My anger problems are no more. My self-esteem (while it will probably never be 100%) is the best it's ever been and I walk tall with my head held high. I know now how to react to situations that before I could not handle.

I could go on and on.

It's my humble and unprofessional opinion that you may need a professional's help with the anger, bad moods that plague you everyday and your issues of trust.

Again, it's not easy and it's definitely work on your part (going through the therapy) but is the most awesome feeling in the world to actually, truly, trust the family and friends I love! It's a very freeing and strengthening experience!

Good luck to you! You DESERVE to be healthy and happy!

All the best,

Cindy B in OK
PS - It is SO SO SO important that your therapist and you have the same goals and are compatible. No, you're not looking for your new best friend; however, you have to feel *some* trust or a connection for this to work. If you meet someone and you feel their values are wrong, or you can't seem to communicate with each other, or you are just not comfortable, PLEASE go find a new therapist. Again, I know this sounds like a royal pain --- please believe me it's all worth it!

Answer 2

First, you need to know what causes your anger. It appears that you may have a good life. Parents who spoil you, two cars in 3 months. That should help you to be happy a bit, no? Great parents can make all the difference in one's life. By the way, I applaud your action. You did the right thing by turning your license in before you could injure yourself or someone else.

What happened to you four years ago that caused you to be so distrustful of others? Did someone you trusted betray you? If so, it's possible that you may still be experiencing the pain. Betrayal can be very hard on the soul and can take time to heal thus making it hard to trust again. Talk to someone, a family member or a good friend and let them know how you feel. Let them give you a hug. Time will help you to heal. Just be patient. In time, you will learn to trust again. I know all about betrayal. I wrote the book. I understand how you feel.

The way to deal with your anger is to try to reverse the feeling. Whenever you feel like being angry, take a deep breath and think of something good; do something fun, something that you enjoy. Do you have any hobbies? Try meditation. If your anger is caused by someone's malfeasance towards you. Maybe it's time to forgive that person so that you may find solace in your life. Forgiveness can help you to heal faster. Have you ever considered seeking professional help perhaps?

Anger is a very dangerous and destructive emotion. I hope you will be able to find a way of remedying the cause of such anger. Life is too short and precious to waste it in anger.

I hope this would help you. You take good care of yourself. Hopefully, you will be happy soon. You just have to believe.

Always remember: " Anyone can make himself or herself better. "

Answer 3

ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASSES & COUNSELING,ASAP!
You are a threat to yourself and others from what you have told us. It is time to seek help, but you must not deny you have other issues to deal with like trust. If someone has never hurt you or did anything bad to you (or anyone else that you know of) you should give them a chance. You also have a self-esteem problem. Start helping yourself by treating others the way you would like to be treated. Take care of yourself by eating better, exercise, drinking lots of water, get plenty of sleep. Another tip: When you feel yourself becoming so angry, walk away from the situation and cool off for awhile. Best of luck!!!

Answer 4

You probably will want to talk to a professional. Therapy or drugs should help. you seem willing to move forward and do the right things. Just take it one step at a time.

I pray for God to help me be patient and make the right decisions. I have to do this everyday so I can remain focused.

There are books and tapes out there that help people develop and maintain a positive mental attitude. I suggest Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill and Zig Ziggler.

Remember that you only control your own actions and reactions in this world. Other people are not under your control. Always ask yourself "is it worth it?"

God Bless

Answer 5

You should write a list of all the good things about yourself. If you hate yourself so much that you can't think of any, then ask others. If you think that you could do with being a bit nicer, then do so. And you could get a new hairdo or something to kick-start the new-you. But don't change your entire personality, unless you're a heartless murderer! I'm sure you have no real reason to hate yourself. We all have done things that we're not too proud of, and we all have certain traits etc which we don't particularly like. People are always moaning about their looks etc, so you're not the only one. I know it sounds silly, but it's proven that if you keep saying: I like myself over and over, it will change your mind set completely. At the moment, your brain is geared to: I hate myself over and over. Don't worry. :)

Answer 6

Try Yoga and meditation classes.

Answer 7

simple hang out with different ppl

Answer 8

Read a chapter of the bible every day. It will change you. :)

Answer 9

go to a beach alone and have a peaceful mind...

Answer 10

does bipolar disorder run in your family??