Unsure of whats right and what's wrong...?

Question

Lately my boyfriend and I (8 months) have been experimenting with oral and manual sex because I refuse to have actual intercourse before marriage because of my religion, but now I'm wondering if that's wrong too? I mean, my mom says it is. I asked her without telling her I was participating (she's very religious). I just don't understand why it is wrong. It's not hurting anyone. I'm in an actual relationship, there's no risk of pregnancy (if careful) we both love each other and it's helping prevent sex because we have something to do physically to get over our urges.

So I guess I'm asking if anyone else with religious values out there knows if this is wrong or not. If it is, tell me why, please. I'm so confused. Serious and detailed answers are appreciated. Thank you.

Answer 1

Firstly, I don't think sex has ANYTHING to do with religion. Second: The type of sex you have is immaterial to a god, if you believe that. Third, there are so many types of sex, who's to say what's "right"? Some monks or priests who never had it? I DOUBT IT!!!! Do what you like and don't do what you don't like, regardless of what the priest, the church, and your boyfriend (did I leave anyone out?) say to you! It's your body...YOU make the decisions.

DON'T LISTEN TO anything about Bill Clinton! He obviously had a problem...an addiction to sex. Anyone who uses his sad story as an example had a problem with sex, themselves! (It's called repression and nosiness!). Pay them no heed!

Answer 2

I am guessing you are not Wiccan otherwise you wouldn't have to bother asking. Sex is something beautiful that two people who love each other can share. Christianity has made that a sin.

When Christianity first took effect only married couples could have sex and then there was to be no pleasure taken from it for it was only for procreation, and it wasn't allowed on Wednesdays, Fridays, or Sundays. And it wasn't allowed for 40 days prior to Christmas or Easter. And it wasn't allowed for 3 days prior to receiving communion, nor was it allowed from the time of conception to forty days after birth.

The Church fell on some hard times then as many found it very hard to live with this. As of late the Church has relaxed a bit but still you find that sex is considered a weakness of the body. But again this decision is being made by people who are not allowed to have sex.

Personally, I think you are going to have to chose if this is wrong or not and not worry about the opinions of others.

Blessed Be )O(

Answer 3

You sound like me 2 years ago...

I grew up in a very religious home. I was at church every day... literally... I was very steadfast in my beliefs, and loved my God. I had been on several missions trips and had considered going into the missions field as a career...

I meet my boyfriend when I was 21 (now husband) and we fell in love... I was dead set on waiting till marriage to do anything sexually. He was content to wait. He never pushed to go further... ever... I wanted to. I loved him, and wanted to express my love for him in a sexual way. We had sex.

Nothing changed in my beliefs... I still attended church on a regular basis. I was even a leader in the junior high youth group. I did not feel any shame. It felt natural. We were both ready. I didn't tell my parents. I knew they would flip...

At that time I loved my boyfriend. I knew that there was always a chance that he might not be the man I marry, but I wanted to experience a sexual love with him. I was happy to share my first time with him.

I know that in the Bible God calls us to be pure until marriage. I know that when two couples come together for the first time in a holy union He rejoices. I know He would have had us wait, but we have to make our own choices. His love for me didn't change.

This is something that only you can decide.

Answer 4

I urge you to read the bible for yourself. In particular for this question, read the Song of Solomon, sometimes called the Song of songs.

In it you will find two lovers whom want each other very much, but they allow the passion to build and build without acting out on any of it until their wedding night. The girl longs to touch his various body parts, as does the man long to touch the one he loves. Its very romantic and passionate.

There is nothing wrong with allowing passion to build and build. It is what God intended for us to feel for the one we are to marry.

Honestly, if you are this committed to one another, you should set a date and get married. There seems to be no reason not to. If there is a reason not to marry at this time, then that same reason would be perfectly right for not participating in foreplay without sex.

Answer 5

Obviously deep down you yourself know that it is wrong since you are not married otherwise you wouldn't hide it from your mother. but rem,ember this: you might be able to hide uit from your mom but our heavenly Father Jehovah God knows exactly what you are up to, andthat you are stealing his wonderful gift to married persons. ye dear it is wrong and you already are not virgins any more, even though you have not actually engaged in full blown sex, if you want to avoid it then there is a way you can do that never let yourselves spend time totaly alone,always have someone else with you, then you will not be tempted too easily!
There are young people who refrain from intercourse but who engage in so-called sexual alternatives, such as fondling one another’s sexual organs (sometimes called mutual masturbation) I think this is what you are talking about. A disturbing report in The New York Times reveals that “oral sex has become a commonplace initiation into sexual activity, widely perceived by many young people as less intimate, and less risky, than intercourse . . . [and] as a means of avoiding pregnancy and of preserving their virginity.”

Just how should a Christian view premarital sex? And what about so-called alternatives to intercourse? Are they acceptable to God? Are they safe? And do they really preserve one’s virginity?

If a youth engaged in any form of fornication, could he or she be considered a virgin in God’s eyes?
What Fornication Includes
An authoritative answer to these questions can come only from our Creator—Jehovah God. And in his Word he tells us to “flee from fornication.” (1 Corinthians 6:18) Just what does that mean? The Greek word translated “fornication” is not restricted to sexual intercourse but includes a variety of lewd acts. So if two unmarried people engage in oral sex or in fondling each others’ reproductive organs, they are guilty of fornication.

But could they still be considered virgins—that is, in God’s eyes? In the Bible the word “virgin” is used as a symbol of moral purity. (2 Corinthians 11:2-6) But it is also used in a physical sense. The Bible tells of a young woman named Rebekah. It says that she was “a virgin, and no man had had sexual intercourse with her.” (Genesis 24:16) Interestingly, in the original Hebrew, the word for “intercourse” evidently included other acts besides normal man/woman intercourse. (Genesis 19:5) So, according to the Bible, if a youth engaged in any form of fornication, he or she could hardly be considered a virgin.
(Colossians3:5) Of course there is are better ways to avoid these things before being married

Answer 6

I don't know any scriptural reference for manual sex, but oral sex (as well as anal) is considered to be sodomy and that is a sin according to the Bible.

I would stay away from manual sex as well because that could led to other things-I know it is easier said than done and because I'm married it is not something that I struggle with any
longer.

Stay strong and stay blessed!

Answer 7

Anything involving stimulation of the sex organs is considered sex, whether there's penetration or not. Bill Clinton got everybody off track on that one and probably sent moral values into decline at a greater rate than almost anyone I can think of in modern history.

Answer 8

Do not listen to those who say keep yourself pure for your future husband. What ever you do needs to be done for yourself. As far as answering your question. I have a feeling that for you to be at peace you need to figure out what is OK with your religion or find a religion that you feel more comfortable with. Have you talked to your boyfriend about this. Is he the same religion as you? If so you could ask him what he thinks about it. I hope you find the help you want.

Answer 9

According to theVedic understand any illicit sex creates bondage to the bodily conception of life. It only brings one misery and suffering. We are not these bodies minds or senses, we are Spirit Soul, part and parcel of the Supreme Soul (God) If we have illicit activities then we will become more attached to the body and material mind and it will create more misery. It is just the law of nature. One should understand our actual piston and come to real spiritual happiness.

Answer 10

You say its helping prevent sex, but what you are doing is actually called sex! And i think religion prohibits all sex before marriage! Why don't you just get married? seriously you can't fool God this way.

Answer 11

drop the oral SEX. it is sex .now using sex toys not sure about. ilike the idea of doing it to control your selves. but it sounds like you are doing things that you shouldn't be to get to that risky area. just try to be the good kids and save yousev
lves 4 each other. experement later. you'll have the rest of your lifes together to find out things.