i keep defending everything. i am tired of it. also she won't give me my newborn back! she hogs her all day.
2006-11-25 16:54:11 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
she is staying over in my house as we speak!
2006-11-25 17:03:59 · update #1
tell the old hag to shut her mouth and go home.
2006-11-25 16:57:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does she live with you? Mother in laws think that they are helping out when they are over by taking care of the baby so you can do other things. I know it's hard to let her hog the baby but if she doesn't live with you and doesn't see the newborn often let her enjoy. As far as her insulting everything about you she is way out of line. You need to speak with her about this and lay down the law if you can't have your husband do it or better yet both of you 2 to 1 you'll have better odds of getting through to her. I wouldn't worry about hurting her feelings because she doesn't care if she hurts you. Good luck!
2006-11-25 17:09:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with your husband and let him know what you are going through and how you feel. He should be given the first opportunity to address his mother, as now you are first in his life.
Hopefully this will end the problem, if he does not address the problem you will have to handle it yourself. Try to do it when your husband is at home, so he can support you. Stop defending yourself and you have to learn to speak up for yourself. She will only stop when she knows that you will no longer tolerate her actions. Right now it sounds like she still thinks that she is first in her son's life.
2006-11-25 17:00:43 · answer #3 · answered by VLEEKS47 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Had the SAME problem. No matter what you do, its never enough, good enough, done right or fast enough, not raising your kids right, not dressing them right, not...EVERYTHING.
Listen, its his family and his job to keep his family in line, just as its your job to take care of any issues with your family.
Give her a 'schedule' for her time with the baby. Be civil, but firm. We all love our babies and put up with our mans family because we love our man. We certainly wouldnt have friends like that...thats for sure.
If she can not respect your feelings (because it is YOUR family and YOUR baby) and boundaries, you need to move. Sounds drastic but if you value your marriage (and your sanity) the farther the better. Imagine years of it! I’ve done it, and moving was the best thing I ever did.
Make sure she knows (and the family knows [for your hubby will blab that its your idea to move because of them…]) that you are not trying to shut her out of the babys life. You just need privacy and boundaries respected. Period.
Good luck, it’s a hard situation, but you can do it.
2006-11-25 17:13:00 · answer #4 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your mother in law clearly doesn't understand that it's YOUR family, not hers and that she needs to respect that.
You don't criticize anything SHE does, so she shouldn't be doing it to you.
Why does she have your newborn all day? This is a time for MOTHER-baby bonding, not GRANDmother-baby bonding. She'll have her time to spend with the newborn and spoil her grandchild, but until then, she needs to respect your time with your baby.
What does your spouse say about all this???
2006-11-25 16:59:23 · answer #5 · answered by Imperfect 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay away from her for awhile. Tell her on the phone that you won't allow her to mistreat you and disrespect you. If she continues, take away. What I mean is take away her PRIVELAGE of seeing her grandchild. She will chang. If she cares. My mom treated my wife the same way for a while. Until she busted her out on the phone. It was weird for a month or so, but she realized my wife was being serious. Things changed.
2006-11-25 16:59:24 · answer #6 · answered by liquidjesus23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to rest and enjoy your baby. Don't let anyone disrupt this special time for you! She may be a stress monkey who finds faults everywhere. Ask her why she is so unhappy with you? Put it there on the spot for her. Ask her why she complains about you so much? Ask her if she would like to spend less time with you and baby? Stand up to her and don't be bullied. Best of luck to you!!
2006-11-25 17:00:45 · answer #7 · answered by whrldpz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time to talk to your husband. This is your house, your marriage, your child. Mother in law is treating you like a child, too.
2006-11-25 17:12:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to her and tell her that she needs to respect your home and everything else. If she cannot do so then she is not welcome. You should not have to put up with that kind of abuse, especially in your own home. Things wont change unless you say something. Good Luck
2006-11-25 18:13:16 · answer #9 · answered by Baby boy blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why haven't you kicked her out yet??? Just tell her straight up to either respect you and your spouses choices in life or to get out and you'll only see them for the sake of your children.
2006-11-25 16:58:44 · answer #10 · answered by espressoaddict22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
pray for patience ,dearie! it's a good thing if she does not live with you,but if she does,that' one stressful situation you're into. bear in mind,your family comes first. your baby must be with you..seek all help you can get:legal,spiritual,emotional. what does your husband thinkabout this? work out the situation hand in hand with him.
2006-11-25 17:08:51 · answer #11 · answered by nova 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋