Here's my problem, I am embarrassed I have to resort to asking this question on Yahoo! but I am pretty stumped. I have met this amazing guy, we have been together for three years now. We own a house, we are doing wonderful for our age. Lately I feel stuck... I'm 21 and I may as well be married, when I should be off "being 21." He, on the other hand, finds people our age immature and holds no interest in going out with friends. I never want to be around him anymore, I've grown bored and yearn for a more exciting life. I have contemplating leaving him... Then I wonder, what if I never find anybody like this again? I know he'd never take me back after sticking him with a house a couple brand new cars to go off and live a new life... He's determined to be successful, and is happy with the way things are... There is no changing his mind, we have talked about this, 12 hours straight in fact one night. I love him so much, but I am so sick of our life! I'm stuck here, advice??
2006-11-25 16:37:44 · 4 answers · asked by melsaruly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I must add this, he knows how I feel and he doesn't budge in his ways. I on the other hand, have been on my own (literally) since I was 16 years old... I have never experienced "partying." I am not necessarily interested in this, I'd love simple things... Right about now, ANYTHING. Any contact with other people, I am in need of something other than him 24/7. Like I said, absolutely no budge on his part. Believe me, I've been trying for 3 years...
2006-11-25 16:49:20 · update #1
I am not in school, I am very successful in Real-Estate sales. School is not an interest... As for just me going out... Being the driven person her is, I never hear the end of it when I attempt to. I'm wasting time according to him, and he becomes angry with me every time without fail.
2006-11-25 16:53:08 · update #2
I'm adding so much here, I apologize! I have to fill in some blanks once more. Aside from this one problem, he is amazing, he always has been. The type of guy a woman dreams of having and we are happy a lot of the time. I know I need space and to have a life outside of ours, or to extend ours. He has no interest, he'd rather be working and making money. Everything with him is about becoming successful, he says he'll relax and enjoy like in 15-20 when, by then, he can coast... There is NO changing his mind whatsoever. This is very frustrating, I want to leave, and I want to stay at the same time.
2006-11-25 16:58:39 · update #3
You say that you never want to be around him anymore. That's a HUGE sign of trouble. You will never be content living like this forever, and you're lucky you're seeing it now and not when you're much older. If I were you, I would ask him to go to couples' counseling. It sounds like you can afford it, and it's something you can learn from even if the relationship doesn't work out. If he's so inflexable that he doesn't want to try it, then it's time to move on. If, after the counseling, you don't find yourself happier, going out with friends, and with more freedom, then it's also time to move on.
Don't stay with him just because you think you won't find anybody else. You are so young! You'll definitely find somebody more your speed when you're good and ready.
I'm speaking from experience. I broke off an engagement when I was 21 and it was the best thing I could have done. I'm 25 now and single, still living it up and have a rockin' social life. I haven't been in any serious relationships but I know when I'm ready, I'll find somebody WAY better for me. With every guy I date, I feel like he's a better match, like I'm learning how to make the right decisions about guys one by one. Trust me, it's getting better and better, too!
2006-11-25 17:31:00 · answer #1 · answered by n 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can still go out, have fun with your friends, "being 21" without having to give up what sounds like an otherwise good relationship. In order for any relationship to work, you both have to have other interests outside of each other, or of course you will get bored! What kind of interests and hobbies do you have? If you are not in school, have you thought about going? What about traveling, either together or separately? Relationships should be encouraging each other to learn and grown and live a full life. Look for a compromise.
2006-11-26 00:49:24 · answer #2 · answered by zmj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you ever stop to think you should tell him your feelings? me and my girlfriend of 6 years had a similar talk and we have a 5 year old child we talked about it and that was that anyways she cheated on me i lost a friend of 15 years to her cheating cause she thought he was more her speed but in the end she was just a booty call and here i am then she got in to a major car accident and now has some problems i love her i decided to stay with her before the accident mostly for our child but she admitted it was a mistake and were moving on besides the cheating thing its a similar thing i think you should have a serious heart to heart of where am i in this relationship and set it up that you both can talk freely with out getting mad and figure out where you are
2006-11-26 00:44:37 · answer #3 · answered by halicon2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like a driven man. tell him to loosen up a little. let him know how deeply you feel. he may relax a little, if he knows the relationship is on the line. you probably need to grow a little too. life is not always a party. you both will have to meet each other half way.
2006-11-26 00:42:32 · answer #4 · answered by beccaboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋