My boyfriend lost his virginity to his ex, i'm having trouble dealing with that, what should i do?

Question

i put this question up a few days ago, i'm looking for a few new opinions. thanks to everyone who answered this a few days ago!

Answer 1

If I had been in your situation, that would have bothered me terribly. You just have to remember that your boyfriend wasn't with you (maybe he didn't even know you) when that happened. He wasn't thinking about saving himself for you...maybe he thought SHE was the one. But he's with you now, which is far more important. Maybe you just want to be extra careful before you two sleep together...make sure he's the one, so you don't repeat his mistake. But honestly, these days, finding THE one the first time is difficult and unlikely. So maybe you should base your decision on whether you truly love him. If you do, you'll have no regrets. Love is something special and rare...even if/when it's gone, you'll remember how great it was and your decision won't seem like the wrong one. Most importantly, cut yourself some slack, too...no one's perfect, not even your boyfriend. Best of luck!

Answer 2

Well are you a virgin. If you are you may have trouble dealing with it because you want your first time to be special and with a virgin, but if you really care for him it shouldn't make a difference. As long as you both get an aids test. Just think about it, say you do have s.e.x. with your current boyfriend and you two break up a little while later. Then you meet another guy and he is a virgin. How would you feel then?
If you don't plan on having s.e.x. then I think you should tell him how you feel and try to get over it. Because every guy you meet may not be a virgin. That's just life and you just have to deal with it. Even if you don't like the way it is dealt with.

Answer 3

Did he cheat on you during your relationship?
If he did then you need to either forgive him or dump him. You're going to have to look into your heart and head for that answer. Second chances are fine if your willing to forgive. But if it becomes more like a common occurrence where he's always out playing the field, then it's time to dump him quick.

If he didn't cheat on you, but lost his virginity PRIOR to you two having a relationship, then your just either going to have to get over it, or move on. Personally, I don't see why it's a big deal whether or not he's a virgin or not. As long as he want to be with you, and you with him, then whats the problem?

Life's too short and messy. Get a room and be happy with one another while the goings good...

Can't we all just get along! ;-)

Be well.

Answer 4

Alrright... If this ex he lost his virginity to was in the past?? don't worry about it! if he lost it while he was dating you!!! then worry about it!!! you should have a problem with it!!!!! It's a possession thing. It maybe hard to get over. But think of it this way.. when you are 30 do you think it will even be possible to find a male virgin!? very very very VERY few!!!! even in your teenaged years there aren't many male virgins. the reason it was with his ex is because he was horny!!! guys get horny! there is no stopping them! this doesn't make his feelings for you any less strong or anything!!! He is your boyfriend! he likes you!!!! Just think of it this way! you KNOW he would have lost it to you if you came along first!!!! good luck!!!

Answer 5

I know it's hard on you but he didn't know you then sweetie. Make every time when you are with him that way feel like the first time. He just had sex with her and with you he makes love. Remember it is you he is with now. Don't keep bringing it up to him, all you will do is keep that memory alive in his mind because you keep reminding him about it. It might turn him off from you so be good and forget about it. He loves and wants you now that's all you need to remember. You could do something unexpected of you in bed to him. Make it a special time he'll never forget. If I knew how old you were I would give you some unforgettable things to do.

Answer 6

Well, as i may be reading this wrong, it seems like he lost it before he was with you....? if that's so, then as a person very familiar with the "boy just lost his virginity" situation I'd say your going to have to get over it. Its so weird how guys act from when they are a virgin to when they lost it, to when it's no longer a "new thing". I am still a virgin, but I know my choice is mine and I don't expect nor do i judge others if they have chosen to loose theirs or save theirs. The more important thing is that if he respects you then your ok. If not, then get out. Know that since this guy "just" gave his virginity away, understand he is in the middle of a transition, and either its going to effect you as it seems to have already, or, you can accept him based on his personality, spirit, and heart, rather then by his actions.

~Jamie~

Answer 7

The Boy needed some and you weren't available? Any port in a storm? Perhaps, sex to him isn't all that big of a deal. But I'm guessing that (because you're writing) it means a great deal to you. So, of all of the available ports in the world, why his ex? Sounds like there's some unfinished business there. Any way you slice it, you two have a whole lot of talking to do. You NEED to COMMUNICATE. If, after you've talked he still doesn't see that he's hurt you, then maybe it's time to move on. People who love one another, don't go out of their way to hurt the ones they love. SelfLESS or selfISH, you decide.

Answer 8

Easy, grow up or give up. Stop being a little girl, and be a woman.If you can not, then move on. But be for warned, the next guy will have had more women than that. In this day and age, that's the way it is.

I do not like it either, but that is life in the 21st century.

Answer 9

Find another boyfriend. If she was the first woman that he ever had intercourse with, there might have been many other first time events with that woman as well. And if you are concerned about being the second comparison to the other woman, then it is time to get out of this relationship before the pain gets worse.

Answer 10

most everyone has to lose it at some point. and most everyone has more than one sexual partner in their lifetime.

if you can't deal with it, then you're probably not ready for that intamacy that comes with a sexual relationship. if you can't get over it, then don't waste your or his time in this relationship.

it doesn't sound like you're in a relationship that's growing and evolving...your stuck on something that's happened in his past. sorry, girl, but it's his past, his life, his memories. he's probably trying to create new memories with you...but that's kind of hard if you're into his past more than you're into your future together, right?