she is 19 and he is 32, he is an abusive man and treats her like crap, he has 2 other kids by 2 other women and he doesn't pay child support. my dougther feels trap but doesn't want to leave him because he was her first. I tried to help him but he was very rude to my wife and didn't want to work, so i kicked him out if my house. My dougther left with him because he wanted her to, I tried to talk to her so she could stay home and leave him but she said no because she is pregnant. he's still not working and they are living in a shelter, what should we do, what should my baby dougther do????
2006-11-25 14:57:30 · 24 answers · asked by colonmike2000 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
ok. well i was in a similiar situation when i was younger in fact the same situation.
I did the oppisite of what my mom and dad told me to, they told me hi wasnt good for me i was out to prove them wrong, they told me he was going to hurt me and he did but i wanted so bad to prove my parents wrong. And i did but in the ned my parents were right and i got out of that situation.
heres what i did with the help of mt family.
you know that he is abusing her,,, after awhile i hadmarks and such all over my body my daddy called the police and told them i was living in a sheltor and pregnant and was being abused by my boyfriend, social services came and took me to the doctors for an evaulation and put me in a womens sheltor, meanwhile they locked him up for attempted murder on a fetus and he was in jail for a couple of weeks then went to a half way house.
Now in the selter you learn many things, but it didnt matter i went back to him and then the man stabbed me when i was 7 months pregnant i ended up in the hospital and they arrested him, my parents took me out of the hospital and gave me no choice but to go with them they moved me to a family memeber that was states away from that man, after i had my child i joined the army and have had one more encounter with him and after everything and relizing he could have killed my child it was the last time.
the worst thing you can do to an abused person is try and take over their relationship b/c they wont listen and they dont want to hear it. we are a stubborn breed. we will try anything to hurt and prove our parents wrong. so my suggestion is when u know that he is abusing her call the policeyou can do that even while she is in the sheltor..as hard as it may be dont put the man down in front of her dont even bring him up when communicating with her, try and show her other options have your wife take her out to eat, or walking around act like you are trying to make a menze, help her get a job to where she will be around other people(do this w/o making it seem like you are attemting to get her away from that other man)(the police can not tell them who called on them)....
in the end i got out and am doing great. I hope for her sake that that man you speak of is not my ex... that man almost killed me.
2006-11-25 15:09:55 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do. Your daughter is an adult she has the right to make her own life choices whether good or bad. All that there is to do is to let her know you love her and if SHE (not him) and her child need a place to stay she can come home. Do NOT open your home up for him because he is obviously a letch/leech and will do nothing but take from you without offering anything in return. It is sad that your daughter wasn't taught about people like this guy and how to avoid getting involved with them but it's too late for that now.
2006-11-25 15:05:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is it possible that she suffers from a mental illness and is hanging onto him for dear life? Even with depression you can get protective services involved to make sure she has prenatal care. Often a woman who does not take care of herself is not in shape to care for a baby. Talk to the shelter people and ask if they sense anything unusual about her. If she has a mental illness she can be hospitalized for treatment, yes, even when pregnant. Work fast, because shelters are temporary and not all people take advantage of their job and apartment programs. The social worker at the shelter can advise you on this kind of situation. Your girl is not the first one they have seen in trouble. Best of luck to you!!
2006-11-25 15:08:01 · answer #3 · answered by whrldpz 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your daughter is an adult therefore, there isnt much you can do forcefully. She will eventually get tired especially after her baby is born. If she is still in a shelter when her baby is born, you can take her to court and fight for custody of your grandchild since your daughter is in an abusive relationship so will the baby. All you can do is just be there for your daughter. Good Luck and God Bless
2006-11-25 15:21:02 · answer #4 · answered by Baby boy blue 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Pray Pray Pray allot of times our kids are going to do things that we as parents don't like. Right now I'm going through a situation with one of my daughters and she wants me to mind my own business. She is going to be 21 next month. After all they are over 18 the will do what the want so our only option is to pray.
2006-11-25 15:11:00 · answer #5 · answered by Carol K 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is love her and talk to her like you have been doing. She will realize it soon, especially after the baby comes. No one wants to raise a child that way. You are doing a good thing by fighting for her and her baby. Good Luck with the outcome of it all!
2006-11-25 15:00:12 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Sweet Girl♥ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go get her. Sometimes children just hate coming back on their own. But, if you go and cut the lip when you ask her to come home, that will be better than auguring with her. Especially, since she is expecting. You definitely don't want to do anything to jeopardize the unborn child. Good Luck
2006-11-25 15:08:05 · answer #7 · answered by mommyX4 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats sad and if that is true she should just leave him and start a new lyf. She should understand the fact that she is too young for him and that they dont get along. he doent works and so gives no money anyway i dont understand what is wrong with leaving him?
you could later file a court case against him if he doent pay child support she will win for sure.
Good Luck to you and your Daughter
2006-11-25 15:10:57 · answer #8 · answered by sweetxxbitter 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kick the piece of craps ***! I would've kicks his *** when he talked down to my wife.. Then kicked his *** again for dating my daughter.. Kicked his *** again for getting her pregnant... Kicked his *** again for the hell of it... Then I'd have to kick my OWN *** for letting him move in my own house!! I could go on and on. I feel for ya. Fathers nightmare. Dont EVER give in and let the guy back in your house that's for sure. Hold your ground. She'll figure it out sooner or later. That's just too big of a age difference when she's still a baby. Too bad she got pregnant. Good luck!
2006-11-25 15:07:19 · answer #9 · answered by wikid14141 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you at best are in a sticky situation. but it isnt hopeless yet.
options are in your hands.
1.) turn him into the attounney general for not paying child support......first you need to know exactly where he is , then you need to make sure he owes back support (in texas its a crime not to pay).
2.) make sure he "IS" beating her! get her to show you if you can, then turn him into the police for assult and battery with intent to do bodily harm!
contact a family layer "AND" child protective services and ask them questions about this case .
dont be affraid to ask any question you have , because the only stupid question is the one not asked!
2006-11-25 20:11:25 · answer #10 · answered by thunderson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋