I am in a close relationship with a girl who I love and care for loads. She says she feels the same. Today she went into a wheelchair which could turn out to be permanent. and know she saying we should only be friends..and I ask her if its cause she dont love me or dont see me as more than friends but she says she does, but wants to be 'alone'?? I've told her a million times her being in a wheelchair doesnt change how I feel for her so why is she saying this if she 'wants to be with me' and still loves me, and yes more than a friend?
2006-11-25 14:55:10 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I can give you the answer. She is feeling sorry for herself and is angry about what has happened to her. It is a hard thing to deal with. She does not mean ot push you away, but right now she feels you are better off with someone else. She don't think she deserves you either and thinks you will come to resent her. She may not even realise she is thinking this, but alot of this is floating through her head. I say tell her how you feel and let her know you will stand by her no matter what, even if it is permanent. Tell her you will be there for her and tell her you are going to give her the space she needs right now, but you are not going anywhere. And don't go anywhere. Do what you say. I know from personal experience. I am in a wheelchair. I was not in one when I met my husband. I went through a lot of this. I still wonder why he wants to be with me. I think he deserves someone he can go dancing with and other such activities. I don't think this way all the time, but the feelings really crop up from time to time. My husband and I have been together for eighteen years and he always tell me he knew what he was getting into. So just know what you are getting into and stick to it. Love her like ;you always have. If I can be of help to either one of you please e-mail at janinebat@msn.com.
2006-11-25 15:14:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She thinks she is doing you a favour so that you wouldnt look like an a**hole if you were to change your mind about being with her now that she may be in a wheelchair for life. She doesnt want to be a burden and wants to give you the chance to find an able bodied woman to spend your life with. She obviously feels she is not good enough for you now and doesnt want you to feel stuck with her. If you truely love her and want to be with her regardless, stick by her and show her how much you love her. Hang in there buddy...you will need to be persistant as she sounds like a very unselfish person and is putting you before herself....she will take a little convincing thats all....sounds like she really does love you though....she was just trying to put your hapiness before her own. What an amazing woman....I can see why you love her so much! Good Luck!!!!! xx
2006-11-25 15:09:23 · answer #2 · answered by Teine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe shes just a bit confused herself being in the wheelchair. if it could be permanent, she might have a lot going on in her head which she just wants to deal with on her own. perhaps give her a bit of space, so she can sort her feelings out, but at the same time, still let her know you care for her, and will be there waiting whenever she feels she's ready to be with you again.
2006-11-25 14:59:26 · answer #3 · answered by sarz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's probably hurting, and frustrated over the situation that has happened to her. She might be depressed. And she might be thinking that she'll be a burden to you if you're together. For now, give her some time to herself, but let her know first that you're there for her no matter what. She needs time to heal emotionally; it sounds like she has been through a lot. Maybe it's too much for her to think about yours and her relationship right now. Try not to pressure her; just love her unconditionally, even if from a distance right now.
Hang in there.
2006-11-25 15:03:06 · answer #4 · answered by Somebody 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like at the moment she's down and is probably testing you in the sense to see whether you would be happy just being friends. Stick by her and keep trying..honest, although she may be saying this, i really think its purely because she is having to go through something quite life changing. Once she sees that you are there..were there and will always be there. You both will be fine. Dont worry.
2006-11-25 15:11:49 · answer #5 · answered by sisi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
awww dude she is just trying to prevent u from what she thinks might be a bad situation. i mean shes in a wheel chair and doesnt know if its going to be permanent. shes kinda feeling blue and down in the dumps and depressed. so stick by her side and keep on reasurring her of your love and being there for her. so she doesnt feel alone dont worry when she sees that ur not going anywhere she'll come around
2006-11-25 15:01:19 · answer #6 · answered by mandy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that right now she might feel bad about being in a wheelchair and maybe she thinks that you might want to be with someone else even though you told her you want to be with her. I would let her put her thoughts straight and maybe later after she thinks about it you can be back together.
2006-11-25 14:58:22 · answer #7 · answered by true-mysteryfrom chinese wish 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to adjust to being in a wheel chair, possibly for the rest of her life before she will start thinking about starting a relationship with anyone.
Give her time, let her know that you are there for her no matter what but don't force the issue about you two gettin together.
Once she gets used to everything, things may change.
2006-11-25 15:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by debs1701 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is scared and maybe confused too. but stick with her and give her time to adjust to her new life.
this will show your character, that you are in love with her no matter what and that is how it should be. i am very impressed because not many people do that especially if you are not married and stuck with the person for ever.
this shows that you are a good guy keep praying that she will get better and stronger and hope you guys tie the knot soon
good luck
2006-11-25 15:05:41 · answer #9 · answered by fancy4not 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She just does not want to be a burden on you. Just tell her how you feel and hopefully she will change her mind. I hope everything works out OK between the two of you take care and good luck.
2006-11-25 22:07:23 · answer #10 · answered by Trevor 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋