How do I get my 5 year old daughter to quit actin so bossy around other kids?

Question

I mean.....she had a playdate with two of her close friends yesterday and I've noticed this has been goin on for a loong time. She just tells them what to do and takes their toys away and screams her head off at them. I must say....she is very sassy and acts like a diva at times...but how do I stop her from acting so bossy?

I told her several times not to do that...but when I'm not around...she just does it and I know she does. She's very sneaky and I told her not to but I dotn know what to do? She doesnt listen...

Actually no I'm not bossy...and I dotn give out spankings either lol. I am a very calm and gentle mother but have no clue on what to do!!!??

Actually no "LaKeisha M"...she's not an only child, she has two brothers and a sister

Answer 1

I wouldn't be too worried about that... better her boss other kids around then the other way around. But if u must, you can give her a taste of her own medicine... boss her around make her reorganize her room or something ( dont be nice about it) When shes watching TV interubt her and change the channel (again dont be nice about it)

Answer 2

So what if she is bossy, alot of 5 year olds are bossy, after awhile the other kids will get tired of it and won't play with her and she will figure it out on her own. There is nothing you can do or say to get her to stop, it is a phase she must go through and learn about on her own. But like someone else said it is a learned behavior...She is learning it from somewhere.

Answer 3

I have an 8 year old that did/does the same thing. She has calmed over the last few years, considerably, because I have gone out of my way to express to her the fact that when she acts in such a way the other childrens feelings get hurt and if she does it enough times they will no longer wish to play with her anymore!

I don't think that bossiness in itself is a bad thing, it shows that your child has self-esteem and it's not a good thing ever to step on that, but too much of a good thing? that can lead to trouble.

As long as she learns to be considerate of her friends..everything should be ok.

Answer 4

I think you are a super Mom for arranging the playdates! She will need the socialization of other kids for her to find out that this kind of behavior is not appreciated. When she gets to school, she will see good behavior and realize the rewards. She is still acting on her baby instincts which naturally tell her to scream and fight for attention. With more social time you can evaluate, and so will the teacher or another adult you can work with, if she has a true behavior or personality problem. The professionals who work with kids have a real talent for helping them through the rough spots so don't be shy about asking for help. This is true for the home schooled kids as well. You need a professional sounding board to help with kids at times. Best of luck to you!

Answer 5

Is she the only child? My five year old is the only child and by us being military and moving around so much, she hasn't had much social experience with children. She has been around adults all her life. She is bossy but not mean. She feels that she is helping when she tries to show the other children how to do something. Just keep explaining to her that others dont like being bossed around. They may not want to come over. That is what I tell my daughter. She will get it. I sure hope mine does!

Answer 6

Sometime when it is just the two of you.......talk with her as a child and boss her alot, do not share well with her and then really show out when only she wants to have her way.......
maybe once she sees this in "action" and how it makes the other person feel, she will better understand to treat each other as you wish to be treated.

Should this not work, take lowlevel privileges away until the "light" comes on.

It is best you help her with this now before she begins school and has to see how lonely it is with NO friends due to her attitude and so forth.

Thanks for being concerned!

Answer 7

lol...that is the million dollar question...I think all little girls go through a phase of being bossy, some out grow it quickly others take a little longer...
I personally believe they like to play house and copy mummy...not that I tend to be bossy, but I do give my kids instructions, like sit quietly and eat, wash your hands after using the bathroom, go make your bed ect.,..just little things, but I'm sure thats where shes picked it up from...it is perfectly normal and natural, just try to pull her into line occasionally when shes getting bossy...make a point of telling her friends if she is being to bossy that they come tell you...and tell them that while she is in the same room as them so they all know that you wont put up with it. (that seemed to help in our house)

Just be reassured its not your parenting thats turned her into a drama queen...its just a phase...

Answer 8

Ha ha that is cute.. not funny, but natural. Children live what they learn. Are you bossy? You might want to take a look at how you come off to her.

Answer 9

Maybe try explaining that her friends won't like her for much longer if she keeps it up - that if she wants her friends to keep playing with her, she should tone it down.
Otherwise - I think a lot of 5 yr old go throught this phase - (mine has a touch of it too & she didn't learn it from me either!)

Answer 10

Sounds like you need to put your foot down and stop letting her run the show. Give her guidence before this turns into something far worse when she's a teenager.