I am a current sophomore, 19, at a University here in California. I absolutely adore my math professor, 31. He is funny, knowledgeable, and friendly. I periodically attend his office hours and chat with him. He and I have become quite friendly with one another, often emailing each other asking how our weekends have been, sharing a funny video, etc. Although the emails are usually initiated by me, he seems to enjoy getting them. Is it against any policy to date your professor? The class is almost over, and I do not plan on taking anymore classes taught by this professor. I am also wondering how to express my feelings for him. I know he feels an attraction towards me. I do not know what to do...
2006-11-25 14:35:32 · 12 answers · asked by GinaValentina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is not married. I know that for a fact. And he is currently single. I know he is at a different stage in his life right now, but I'm willing to get to know him better, and become friends with him in the least. He does not talk to any other student that I am aware of. He is not even flirtatious. He has a special regard for me and I can clearly see that. I've tried researching my school's policy but I've only ran into sexual harrassment policies...that really have nothing to do with this matter.
2006-11-25 17:53:42 · update #1
It depends on your university. I know how it is to fall for your teachers; I think I've fallen for every one, male or female, and I've dated a couple of teacher assistants extremely seriously (flirting with marriage). However, with an actual professor I doubt that something will come from it. Doesn't he have a girlfriend/wife? How do you know he feels an attraction towards you? If you can, for now try to renegotiate your feelings along the lines of friend or father figure. If something comes from it (again, I'm seriously skeptical, but it's certainly not impossible) it will probably be a while, as you are currently his student and there is still something sketchy about jumping into a romance right away. He's young and probably wants to keep his awesome job and not tarnish his record. Good luck! I feel your pain.
And while I'm sure the attraction for him is electric, you should try to get to know his person outside of the context of teaching before jumping his bones. A lot of your assumptions about him may end up falling apart when you deal with the real man (this isn't necessarily a bad thing, but be prepared). I say this from experience. Before I could fall in love with the man behind my TA, I had to give up my idealized notion of him as a TA- and it was first uncomfortable for me, but ultimately a good thing.
EDIT- Oh and I also dated a man 11 years older than me. I don't have any regrets about it- we worked wonderfully together, but were at completely different points in our lives which ended up causing a lot of tension (and which ultimately led to our decision to split, if just for some time). I am currently looking for someone closer to my age. Unfortunately I can't tell how old my crush is.
People are correct when they label what you have as infatuation. Again- the man behind the teacher probably does not live up to the ideal you have in your head. And hopefully, he has some regard for his much younger students (not taking advantage of his power position, etc.) This is why I say that if you really like him, there is going to be a LOT of waiting and a LOT of uncertainty. It's a delicate situation and I wish you luck in getting through it however you do.
2006-11-25 14:50:12 · answer #1 · answered by solaralley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your professor a married man? This feeling that you have for him is it purely based on emotional or is it based on respect? What is the rule of the university about relationship between students and teachers? What if you fall for him and then finds out there is no future there? ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS HONESTLY and you may just come up with the correct answer.
2006-11-25 22:41:08 · answer #2 · answered by sexonsight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find out the policy. If you really like him then the last thing you want to do is get him in trouble and possible cost him his job. Then he will have a reputation and probably not want you in the end. Be very careful.
2006-11-25 22:37:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would leave this alone... You two are at different points in your lives. I would keep things friendly for letters of recommendation later on, but would not go beyond the bounds of friendship.
2006-11-25 22:37:59 · answer #4 · answered by webstoragea1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Until you stop being a student, pursuing this is a really bad idea. Additionally, are you sure that he hasn't been attracted to other students? Is he going to risk his job to be involved with you?
I would leave it alone.
2006-11-25 22:38:51 · answer #5 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont do anything.....this attraction is called infatuation.......you are 19 he is 31.....you dont need the drama, be 19,,,, have fun and be young.....it only comes around once......
2006-11-25 22:39:46 · answer #6 · answered by Lrn'dTheHardWay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might want to start out by asking him if he is MARRIED. If so just count it towards a college "credit" and move on.
2006-11-25 22:38:50 · answer #7 · answered by Peloubet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not really sure about this and I'd wait a little while before doing anything.
2006-11-25 22:38:27 · answer #8 · answered by chrstnwrtr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget it he probably has a wife or a reason why he isnt married yet...
2006-11-25 22:38:45 · answer #9 · answered by momentsofjoi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its hard likeing someone whos your teacher im not saying to stop doing things with him... just make sure he has to give you hoest grades not fake ones just because he knows it will make you sad
2006-11-25 22:41:39 · answer #10 · answered by Titan Quest Goddess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋