Was I wrong to give my 8 yr. old male cousin a cup of alcohol? His parents thought so and were so mad at me :(

Question

We have a lot of relatives staying at our house for Thanksgiving weekend including my cousin, her husband and their 8 yr. old son (my second cousin). Well, she and her husband went out and left their son for me to babysit for the day which I had no problem with. He is so precious!! :) We got to go play with the "baby" sheep and dog in the backyard. Anyways, at sundown my father was having the traditional wine and bread blessing so I gave my little cousin a small cup of wine so he could participate. When his mom came home he came running up to his mom and told her that "Aunt Angel", which he calls me even though I am not his aunt nor my name is angel, gave him some wine. I thought she would be proud of me but she was very angry. She told me they are Primitive Baptist and they do not drink wine and that I shouldn't be giving a child wine. Then she said that they have had enough of our family and were leaving. I started crying and ran into my husband's arms, was I wrong here?

Okay, in my defense I didn't no primitive baptists couldn't drink wine. :(

Answer 1

Okay... so rather than listen to most of the people who answer you rudely... step back and look at the situation...
If you had a child that was very young... and you didn't want the kid to have alcohol... would you be wrong for being angry that another adult gave them the substance???
Probably so...
Though... I won't judge you for what you've done... My sister is Jewish ( I am too... by birth... but not practicing)... they use wine in many of their celebrations... she has a kid that is 11 now... and he drinks wine in the events...
Alcohol in very small events isn't harmful to children... never has been... How many of you people on here ever been cared for by grandparents... I HAVE... and part of their cure/treatment for my gums (as an INFANT) was to rub rum on them... so they wouldn't hurt as bad when I was cutting teeth... This was a very common practice in older times... (some people... I'm sure... still do so)...
The problem wasn't the wine/alcohol... it was giving it to the child without the parents consent... and yes... you were in the wrong for that... but I don't feel that you didn't have any intentions of getting the child drunk/intoxicated...
I do feel... however that an apology is in order to the parents of the kid... if they don't accept the apology... it's THEIR problem now... not yours...
Best of Luck...

Answer 2

You should have checked with them first, but it was an honest mistake. Giving a child a small amount of weak alcohol won't hurt them or anything - it's common in most countries. The US is one of the few puritanical countries when it comes to drinking, and that probably contributes to the amount of alcohol abuse here. It sounds like the relatives over-reacted in a major way. If you're interested in preserving family harmony, you could call them up and apologize and explain that it's a family tradition that you were trying to share. It's up to them to decide whether to make this into an issue long-term. It's also possible that they were just looking for an excuse - if they belong to a different religion and don't do much with the family, maybe this just gave them a convenient excuse to avoid the rest of the family in the future and you just happened to be the fall guy.

Answer 3

first of all u only tried 2 include him that was good , but in the future dont give 8 year olds wine or acholic berviges. you didnt know any better and they should be glad 1. that they could stay there and 2 that u baby sat and another thing they should have just told u that next time u should ask ! that was rude and mean of them ! if i were u i would not let them stay at ur house bacuse they do not apriciat that 1. they could stay with u , 2. that you baby sat and 3 that u tried 2 include there son in the ceremony ! try maybe apoligizing so u dont start a fight or anything ! good luck

Answer 4

Yes, you were very wrong to give an 8 yr old alcohol. For a number of reasons. 1. The legal drinking age is 21 for a reason. Children can't handle alcohol. 2. It is not up to you to decide if a child that isn't yours should be involved in something like a traditional wine and bread blessing. That's his paren't responsibility. 3. Giving children alcohol reinforces the thought that alcohol is more important than it is. It's hard enough to get young adults to understand that alcohol is powerful and addictive, but giving it to children makes that even harder to impress upon them as they grow older. Having said that, I can understand how you wanted to bring him into the tradition and not leave him out. I would suggest that after you give your upset family members a little time to cool down you contact them and sincerely apologize, for the sake of family harmony. Other family members could probably help you convince them you truly didn't mean to do any harm. And from now on, err on the side of caution with other people's children. I wish you luck.

Answer 5

You were wrong - it is illegal to give a minor (anyone under the age of 21) alcohol, period. Some parents break this rule on religious or special occasions, but only they can do this. Because they are the parents, they are the only ones who can make these decisions in their child's life. Even if you thought they would agree that a small amount would not harm their child, why would you take the chance of hurting their son? What if he was on medication that interacted with alcohol? Consider this a lesson, and don't do it again. Contact your cousin and apoligize, hopefully she will realize that you are sincere and that she can trust you once again. Best of Luck.

Answer 6

Obviously your cousin thought that you were wrong and that is all that is important, not what a bunch of strangers believe. If this a regular practice in your home then the next time you are looking after a minor that young perhaps it would be best to ask their parents if it would be alright if they participated in this practice with you. As for now I suppose the best you can do is to apologize to this cousin and let her know that it was a ritual for your family and that you did not give him this alcohol to have him settle down or fall asleep, but to give thanks. Your beliefs are not on the same page as that of your cousins so you must observe what she believes when looking after her child. Best of luck and I hope that you can rectify this situation before the next national holiday, Christmas.

Answer 7

well yeah i feel sorry for you but even thought you must think before hand wine and see what you have done wrong. and wine is bad for kids . it can influence kids to drink more when older. next time be careful wine, alcohol anything that can mess you up is not a good thing. Even it is religious ask the parent first it is there child!! ask for forgivenesss she might for give you but give some thing nice for the family!!in return


good luck!!!

Answer 8

It must be hard to realize that this child's mother would be angry at what you did, but, you must, realize that when you want to give a child something that only adults drink, the parents should be notified about it and if they say no, then abide by their wishes, or if they say yes, by al means do it. never give anything that only adults are drinking to a child untill you ask for permission from the parents. But the curious thing about this incident is, how does parents who are Christians react this way, don't they teach them that love one another,and above all else do not show anger,only unconditional love to anyone. Do they call themselves Christians,that is a laugh. I can only tell you not to lose sleep over this matter, if you apologized to them about that incident that should be enough, do not try to feel guilty, about it.

Answer 9

Yes, First the child is underage. The parents could have had you arrested. Second what makes you think that everyone participates in drinking wine at all? This is not a religious problem but you really blew it by contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Your not a priest, rabbi or minister. You should not have placed your choices on an minor.

Answer 10

well yes and no. For one, some people will tell you children shouldn't drink. My 7yo has never even smelled the stuff, but when I was a kid my grandparents in Portugal used to give me fruit salad in a wine and sugar mixture, and called it Sangria. My mother hated it but she wasn't a cow about it.
Something like that though can be touchy, it's up to the parents as to what a kid should and should not experience. I know it seems harmless but some parents can be really anal about things like that, as you have learned. So something like that should be asked of the parents if the child is able to participate.