My boyfriend of 3 years popped the question about a week ago. I said yes and I thought we had a plan. We are both college students and we have been looking at several colleges to tranfer to to finish our education. He recenlty changed his major and today I was looking at univeristies on line, I decided to pull up his transcript to see which programs would be easiest for him to transfer into. When I pulled it up I found that After 2 and 1/2 years of school he has only 12 credits and has withdrawn from 12 classes out of the 20 he has been registered for. I haven't talked to him about this yet, but I am heart broken. I try really hard to be honest with him and he obviously hasn't been doing the same. I understand that he doesn't like school but I wish that he would drop out and get a real job but he's not doing anything. Is this a big deal? I know it was wrong to look at his transcript, but I really had our best interests at heart. I am going to see him in a few hours, should I confront?
2006-11-25 14:07:14 · 15 answers · asked by Heather 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, you should....as much as I'd like to suspect you're extremely rash and don't know what you're doing, for some strange reason I don't...maybe its your proper grammar. Eh, stuff like that impresses me. Anyway, yes, it is serious and you should discuss it with your FIANCE. Its not like this is just some person, its someone you're going to marry so its important. I am going to assume you've made a good choice and that its just a strange situation, mostly because it sounds like one I would be in. Work with him, talk to him (don't be accusatory though, be rationale and fair) and see how it goes. Try not to do something you'll regret later. That goes for doing things you'll regret and not doing things you should and regretting it. If you agreed to marry him you should be loyal to him and work together with him. Good luck.
2006-11-25 14:12:17 · answer #1 · answered by fslcaptain737 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello:
Honestly if you confront him about this, he will know that you looked at his transcript. And even if he lied to you, he will feel defensive and most likely get upset over the transcript thing.
This just seems like an incredibly confusing situation. If he is nearly done with his education, yet has only technically completed less than a semester of classes - did he not think you would find out eventually?
I think instead of confronting him, ask him more detailed questions about how many credits he has or still needs. Make him tell the truth, and then you can explain that college isn't for everyone and he needs to follow his heart. Honestly any college that receives an application from a student who has dropped out of 12 of the last 20 classes, probably will not be too interested in accepting that student. Or hearing from a student that only has 12 credits to show for two and a half years of a college education? He'll have to explain it to you sometime.
And I wouldn't worry too much about the lying thing. He's not cheating on you, he's probably just embarrased and that's why he hasn't told you.
I hope this helps, and good luck!
2006-11-25 14:13:48 · answer #2 · answered by Jeanne 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't have permission to look at his transcript then you should find another way to confront him. Ask him if you can see it or try to make him tell you the truth. What he did is not okay and it does need to be handled. If he is withdrawing from all these classes then he is someone who does not do well with commitment...do you really want that in your life. He needs to see a counseler now to figure out what is wrong with him that he signs up and then drops classes. He's going no where...what is going to happen when he doesn't like his job...quit?
2006-11-25 14:11:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi hon, unfrotnualty you do have to confront. If you dont confront him this will be on your mind forever, and you will constantly be bothered by it.
Im sure he just wasnt honest with you because he doesnt want to let you down, he doesnt want you to think that he is a failure.
Make sure you are open with him but not confrontational. Have a nice long discussion about what his options are. Let him know that education is not necessarily everything, and that he should think about taking some time off and getting a job if school is not his "thing". Let him know that you love him regardless, but especially since you are engaged you two need to be open and honest to each other about absolutley everything.
I know this may upset you as its always hard to find out things like this, but im sure his goal wasnt just to lie to be mean. Im sure it was more to protet you or himself from owning up to his failures.
Im sure you will feel tons better after having a long talk with him about it. Im sure it will take a weight off of his shoulders too.
Good luck!
2006-11-25 14:15:58 · answer #4 · answered by Jenny S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The school can kick you out for violating the privacy of another student. You are not allowed access to other peoples transcripts or personal data as per the federal law passed in 1974.
2006-11-25 14:09:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Trust and honesty are key things in relationships. Think about it girl, you're going to marry this guy... you have to be honest with one another! If I were you, and would sit him down and talk to him about it. Don't get mad at him though. Just sit down, and discuss this with each other rationally like the adults you both are. He will respect you for not "jumping on him". Good luck, I hope everything works out!
2006-11-25 14:12:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, confront him. Any kind of lying is unacceptable. If he'll lie about something like this he'll lie about any and everything. I think too I'd be putting off the wedding until he graduates. Sounds like he might be planning on you supporting him for a long time.
2006-11-25 14:10:50 · answer #7 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's lied to you about this, how can you believe anything else that he's told you?
Plus it shows a certain lack of character. Not just the lying, the inability to stick with something.
Yeah, I think it's a big deal. Maybe the two of you don't have as much in common as you think you do.
2006-11-25 14:13:58 · answer #8 · answered by Jackie Blue 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
His chum reacted in a impolite and disrespectful way and additionally you're interior your rights to "ban" him out of your homestead for as long as you like. inspite of the undeniable fact that: think of roughly this. You especially cared approximately what your husband did. He became the guy who desperate that they might the two deceive you. He advised his ultimate chum that they might the two permit you recognize they had no longer long previous to the strip club. the final chum became purely doing what your husband advised him. so which you will say you have been being respectful - however the certainty is which you have been complaining that the final chum confirmed extra loyalty to his ultimate chum (your husband) then to you - this is purely no longer real looking. With that mentioned - he could have purely referred to as your husband and mentioned "what ought to I do?". He did no longer could desire to be an entire nasty jerk. this is why he would not could desire to come back into your homestead.
2016-10-17 13:27:56 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
baby girl,it's really tough with all that pressure from evryone to do ur best in college so u shuldn't be too hard on him. I went tru the same thing but i was the one who kept it from my bf. I din want anyone to kno anything cuz i tort i could fix it by myself. i culdn't. When i finally told my bf, he was angry at first but he supported me still. Jus start by askin him seriously how scool goin an lissen to wat he has to say. do not mention wat u did dat was not kool. Try an work it out together, he'll love u more for being supportive believe me.
2006-11-25 14:15:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋