My teenager admitted to trying ecstasy...what should I do?

Question

My teenage son admitted (after a friend's mom told me) that he had tried ecstasy. I am devastated! We've always had a good relationship and he's never given me any reason to not trust him. I thought he was a good kid. I grounded him for 2 weeks, talked at length to him about the dangers of drugs, but I'm not sure if this is enough. He says it'll never happen again...that it was stupid. Do I just hope & pray he makes better decisions or do I lock him in his bedroom until he's 18.

Answer 1

go to the police station and ask that some one have a talk w/ him about this action not only for health reason but because it is illegal

Answer 2

Keep the communication open. You're doing a great job so far. You're not panicking, you're not making threats you don't intend to carry out, you're not screaming or getting hysterical. All this will work in your favor. Well done!

You're doing all you can right now. You may want to have him agree to some sort of plan that will keep him away from temptation and keep you from constantly worrying. At a time when you aren't upset and neither is he, maybe you could set up an agreement that if at any time his behavior or habits, etc., cause you concern that he may be using Ecstasy regularly, he will agree to a urine drug test and, if it comes back positive, counseling and whatever measures you feel are necessary to protect him.

(If his urine is clean, he has nothing to hide and you have no need to worry. If not, well, then you renegotiate things.)

Almost all kids experiment. The important thing is that you discovered it, that you are both talking, and that he knows you care. Always emphasize that whatever steps you are taking are because you love him dearly and want to protect him from harm. *NOT* because you want to punish him, "teach him a lesson", etc. You can't win with kids by being mean, and why would you want to?

It isn't what you do, it's the spirit in which you do it. If it happens again you are going to have to be tough. You can take really tough measures (grounding, no phone, no internet access, no use of the car -- whatever you feel is appropriate if it happens again), but if it's done with love and gentleness, your message gets across and you keep the communication open. Do whatever you feel you have to do, but do it with respect and kindness, and your son should be grateful to you, if not now, in the long run.

Good luck to you; we've been there and done that, and our now-21-year-old son came out of it fine.

Answer 3

the following is a catalogue of issues that youngsters ought to not attempt a million. drugs/Alcohol 2. Steeling 3. Having sex 4. entering into difficulty with police 5. Goofing round in school 6. Getting undesirable grades 7. Bullying this isn't an complete list in spite of the indisputable fact that that's some.

Answer 4

My niece has done the samething.. her mom sent her to live with me after it happened, after the typical talks i told her that since it was a lack of good judgement on her part that until she shows enough responsibility to be left alone at friends houses that I had to speak with the parents of the friend she was going to see, not on the phone but in person. I dropped her off and picked her up everytime. We even sent her to the local rehab clinic to see what those types of drugs can do to a person. She's a good kid, who made a poor decision. Your sons is probably the same way.

Answer 5

I wont pretend to know I have "the" answer but knowing that your son was okay to talk with you about it says a lot!I have two sons still very young but I can sympathize with you.I believe you handled it well.Trust in your parenting and know that you did the best you can.Trust him with the fact that he will make mistakes and learn from them.You are awesome to him.He can tell you things. Thats the most important part of your relationship.I did marijuana (hope i spelled that right) and my mom was devasted too.But I felt complelled to let her know I tried it. I didnt like it.I let my eldest son know I did it and was ashamed of it.I know he will choose his own path but I can hope my honesty will stay in him somewhere and he will make the right choice for him.I guess what Im saying is that you can take your children so far and then you just have to watch and be there for them.It is their lives after all and we cannot run it for them.Keep praying and trust in him.God bless.

Answer 6

Corporal punishment really doesnt work in this case, if you do, he may do it to spite you. Most kids will try some sort of addictive chemical substance, but if they've got their head on straight and a good family, one would hope that they dislike it and never do it again.

My best advice would be to get him to talk about it, at his leisure and relax, because you sound like a good mother and you know that we do something at 16 and then were later reviled, by the act, but thats being a teenager.

Answer 7

Try to be understanding and an informative parent. Watch his moods and actions and read everything that could indicate future drug use. Don't follow him around or accuse him of bad things and try to make him more involved in sports and family gatherings. If he doesn't enjoy doing what everyone else in the family is doing try to do things that he will enjoy so that he doesn't stray over into the wrong crowd. Invite his friends over all the time and try to establish a fun home for them all to come to.

When I was a teen my parents had one room in the house that was a huge game room. Air hockey, pool table, even a slot machine. All kinds of things and my friends like visiting so we spent most of our time there.

Answer 8

You're very lucky your son admitted to taking the drug - most kids would hide it or totally deny it. It's also great that you spoke to him about the dangers of drugs. Just watch him for a while and hope he stays true to his words; that it was stupid and he'll never do it again.

Answer 9

don't lock him in bedroom
as you said, he is not doing drugs, he tried drugs and said it will never happen again, if it does, be a little mroe serious, but trying it once is not such a bad thing
the majority of people have done something at least once, only a few keep on going to using, and they generally come form the locking in room and grounded from life area
just try to be a little more vigilant in keeping tabs on him, enforce curfew, where he will be, don't go extreme and have urine tests, but make sure he knows it is not acceptable, and probably his one time trying will be it

Answer 10

Here the police stations and schools give parents free drug testing kits. Maybe you could see if they are available where you live. If you do not go to church maybe start going and making him go. There are activities during the week with most churches and this could change his crowd of friends. I would probably trust that he is not going to try it again and keep close ties on him and his friends. I would also get the drug kit and do it randomly.

Answer 11

I think you were a little too lenient. 2 weeks for doing drugs? I mean, yeah that's definitely a little too lenient. I think the grounding should be a month at least. Even then you can't guarantee that he won't do anymore drugs, but you certainly can't lock him up forever.
Maybe you should think about future consequences. ex: if he does it again he has to go to some drug rehabilitation/drug learning camp (I have no idea) and a third offense equates to military school. My example may be a little extreme but I would do something along those lines.