My daughter is 3 and when she's with my husband she's well-behaved, with me she's constantly pushing my buttons. Today we went shopping, my daughter and my husband were together. When I met up with them my daughter startted to act up (wanting out of the stroller, whining, etc.) and my husband said she hadn't acted like that til I showed up. What can I do? I'm a SAHM and my husband works a lot and doesn't get to see her much. They adore each other. Why won't she behave when I'm around?
2006-11-25 12:56:08 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I have the same problem with my daughter who is now five. Well, she has grown out of it for the most part now. Your parentin skills are FINE. So don't listen to those negative people. Have you ever heard of some parents when they pick up their child from daycare, even though they had a great day, and is safe, happy and secure with their provider, when Mommy comes to pick her up, she completely breaks down? Well, this is somewhat what is happening here. She is allowed to destress around you. You are her comforter, her disiplinarian, and really the love of her life right now, so she feels like "Hey mom's here. I've missed her. I want her attention. I want to destress a little." So she wants a little alone time with you. Time to cuddle and rest. I know how stressful this can be. You feel like you are doing something wrong, or not enought of the right things. Take a deep breath. This too will fly by, just like those other phases in her life like cholic, rolling over by herself, and trying to get the plugs out of the receptical.
My best advice to you is to keep doing what you are doing with her. I know from experience that you are busy, but try to take an extra few minutes doing what she likes to do best a couple of times a day, and when she does push your buttons, talk to her like a person, and explain how it is making you feel and how you can both work to get along better. I've learned this teaches empathy, and for my daughter, as she got older, made her better. I hope this helps.
God Bless you and your family this holiday season.
2006-11-25 13:53:14 · answer #1 · answered by MommyBekah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess is because she most likely gets attention (even if it's negative) for doing this. Probably from both of you. And if she doesn't get to see her Daddy as much she may like that.
Also, she may actually act out a bit with your husband but his definition of acting out is different then yours so he tells you that she doesn't.
I'm not there os I don't know for sure.
I can only go off my own experiences and me and my husband experience this same thing. My son will be really good when it's just him and I at home and then Daddy will come home from work and he'll start acting out. OR I'll be gone shopping and come home and then he acts out and my husband says he doesn't understand becuase our son was good all day.
Maybe you can just ignore it and let Daddy do the correcting when she acts up when he's there. She's most likely used to you doing most of the disciplinign and him wanting to have the happy time because he doesn't see her as often. But he needs to do it too.
And I *truly* believe this will get better anyway. My son is 5 and we survived but I have always said.."Terrible Twos? NO WAY! Try TERRIBLE THREES"!
Good luck!
2006-11-25 13:07:47 · answer #2 · answered by Mommy of 3 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not just you! I have a 3 year old son who does the exact same thing. I feel like shooting my husband everytime he says " He's so good for me ". I am also a SAHM with a husband who works alot. Maybe because we are with them practically 24/7 they know us too well and know when and how to push our buttons. I'm anxious to hear other answers because I've wondered the same thing !
2006-11-25 13:01:45 · answer #3 · answered by gljwitte@sbcglobal.net 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughters father calls it "mother syndrome" as it only happens when my daughter sees mommy. It is normal... you are the nurturer in the house when it comes to your daughter. You can start pushing her away a little at a time now if you wish... but she may not be ready. Just be firm and stick to the things you say/do at all times with her. My daughter will not step out of line with daddy there (almost 95%) of the time. She still has normal break downs with her daddy. But is still only at about 50% with me. My older two 5 and 7 out grew it.
2006-11-25 14:21:15 · answer #4 · answered by erinjl123456 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh. Well. That's sorta how it is.
I'm sorry. I used to take care of other people's children and the same thing happened. When the mommy got there, all the whining started. I used to think something was wrong with these parents. THEN I HAD MY OWN! Mine do it, too. It's the strangest thing, and it is really irritating!
The bad news is, you are worn down, and Daddy isn't. So she can't push Daddy as easily.
The good news, AmberWaves, is that your child trusts you and knows she is secure.
2006-11-25 13:02:35 · answer #5 · answered by steelypen 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
oh my lord! sounds like me! I'm a sahm and my hubby works. The kids push my buttons constantly! I think it's because we are with them all the time. They learn how to assert their independence and try it out on us constantly. Hubby only sees kids for a couple hours a night before bedtime so he's mister fun time and I'm the discipline. Hopefully it will be a stage they will outgrow and they will respect us. we set the limits and they know that they can get away more with dad. so they test us more then him. As they get older they will respect and behave more because they will understand more the sacrifices we made for them.
2006-11-25 13:00:44 · answer #6 · answered by party_pam 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, not somewhat. i'm kinda like that. I positioned on many hats, with the intention to communicate: the instructor, the poet, the singer, the realist, the romantic, the female, the youngster, the "undesirable woman," the angel...yet's all me. Dif. sides of the comparable diamond. I do, whether, get exhausted and aggravated while peo. jerk me around. you recognize, say they are going to do one difficulty, and then turn and do yet another. Makes making plans complicated. I usu. in basic terms detach in time, and enable them to do their very own difficulty. it somewhat is a unfastened international, in spite of everything.
2016-10-13 03:00:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
amosunknown is totally right. Since dad isn't with her a lot I bet he expects her to behave in a certain manner and doesn't waiver. If I were you I'd stand back and watch when he is "in control" and pick up some pointers.
2006-11-25 13:00:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
All kids go through this. It is because Daddy is special and he is not around all day. You husband needs to take a more active role in disciplining your child
2006-11-25 12:59:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Because you're inconsistant in your behavior towards her when it comes to whats expected of her, and what the consequences are for not meeting those expectations.
I imagine dads not as tolerent as you are.
2006-11-25 12:58:17 · answer #10 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋