My boyfriend and I have been together for six months and shortly after we got serious he told me that he has episodes of anxiety and depression that can last for weeks. He goes to therepy but does not take any medication (although his theripist has suggested it). Anyway... he has been avoiding me for a week I have left him emails and phone messages but he hasn't returned any of my calls for the past four days. I do not think he would hurt himself or anyone else but I am really concerned. Or maybe these are not signs of depression and he is just avoiding me. I am very confused, scared and hurt and I don't know what to do.
2006-11-25 12:53:44 · 12 answers · asked by ecogeek4ever 6 in Health ➔ Mental Health
be there. depression is the other friend i have. i can help. dogmicjoe@yahoo.com. try openluv@yahoogroups.com. it is for people with issues but u can join. i started it to help others. be patient. you would be of great help. i give up at times saying my depression and other illlnesses will push away women. that is why i do not want a girlfriend. cuz i'll ruin her life. but be there.
2006-11-25 13:11:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm....perhaps he's finished with you and is using the depressive episodes as the excuse. it's a thought. however, if you're really serious about maintaining a relationship with someone in this situation, you should know that the depressive episodes, if not treated or maintained, can lead to a life where you feel completely unloved and unwanted. Are you ready for this? i've seen all too often how depression affects the entire family...not just the person who is ill. it's a tough life and the one with the illness NEEDS a ton of love and support. If that doesn't work...mix the paxil with orange juice!
2006-11-25 13:06:29 · answer #2 · answered by WiseWon 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i have depression, and well, coming from the other side of the situation i can relate to your bf. it's good that he confided in you. i don't have a bf right now but if i did, i would confide in him too. as for u, it must be really tough..however, think about how tough it is for your boyfriend he is going through hell and he needs some support. it is the illness that is making him "push u away". take it from someone who has experienced it before. don't let him be alone because loneliness can make depression a whole lot worse. have u tried talking with his family or friends? call them and tell them how worried u are about him. if that doesn't work, then ask his therapist for some advice on how to get him 'out of his shell'. don't let him be alone.
2006-11-25 13:23:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Appears like he is having individual problems. Does he act this manner at work? Try asking a co-worker of his. If he simply asks this fashion round then you definately probably it is that he simply does not suppose for you anymore. I do know i've achieved this when I was once with someone i failed to love anymore, if it used to be simply me and him i used to be miserable but as quickly as a pal or relative got here into the image i was once glad and talkative. Do some detective work. It might be that he really wants to break it off and did not be aware of learn how to do it so he treated you poorly to look should you would ruin it off first. Or is might be that he's calling out for aid. Just right luck!!
2016-08-09 23:33:43 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are going through. The only thing I can suggest is to try have him open up to you. Don't judge him or ask him too many questions, ask him how he is feeling and if there is anything you can do to help. Comfort him that you will be there for him if he needs it and regardless of how your relationship may be you will be there for him.
My boyfriends apartment got robbed two Saturday's ago and he is devastated. He doesn't want anyone to call him including me. He is fighting with me a lot too. He now saying he wants to be alone. It's hurting me b/c I can please him right now. He wont let me in. I'm trying for him also to speak to me, but I mess it up by being to positive. Right now, he is so depressed that he also wont listen to me. I'm afraid too, that he may leave me for good.
Now I'm getting depressed, anxious and worried. Not good... for me.
Listen, check up on him and see if he is alright but keep your distance so that he doesn't feel intruded. Be casual about it but do check for signs and listen carefully to the things he say and if he is pessimistic about everything. Then worry. I wish you well.
2006-11-25 13:22:41 · answer #5 · answered by Treasure 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as a sufferer of depression and a guy i can sympathize.
I often need to escape the world and take care of my head by myself, not wanting to let others solve the problems, talking and therapy is good but just knowing someone loves you anyway (despite the depression) is a real comfort. I went a long way to cure myself with my girlfriends help/love and pure foods, organic no preservatives no chemicals, little meat, lots of pasta and regular exercises, no recreational drugs, no alcohol and strangely getting up at dawn no matter what time you go to sleep!
took two years but so so so worth it.
just keep loving and caring and make him believe it.
dont worry about the escapes into his own head, there is a lot of reassessing to do and sometimes he will really need that space for deep thought, then he will come back a little better.
therapy drugs are ok in 6month series but they are fraught with sideeffects so go easy.
I felt at first that i shouldnt associate with anyone in case they "caught" my depression or would demean me for it, till i found someone to trust (and go for long walks with!)
patience, love and a healthy body cure almost anything.
Talk openly about your willingness to help, that was just what i needed. Good luck
2006-11-25 14:21:05 · answer #6 · answered by rustandplastic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don`t want to appear shallow or heartless ,but you need to get out of this relationship.
Depression can only be controlled not cured .It takes a special kind of person to deal with this .I know I was married to a woman who was depressed. It only gets worse as they age .
Sometimes they become violent ,as my wife did,and they usually gain weight from manic eating binges.My wife doubled her weight and then some .
If you are young enough ,find someone healthy and that gets along with people .
You deserve to be happy not a caretaker .
2006-11-25 13:26:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are doing the right thing asking for help .i do take medication for depression and it works. he needs to want help and you sound like a good person on the right track.there are millions of depressed people and they get relief.if he truly cares for you he will listen good luck,concerned
2006-11-25 13:10:38 · answer #8 · answered by woodsonhannon53 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my boyfriend suffers occasional bouts of depression and he has told me somethimes he just needs to be left alone. I think it something that you can't help him through even though you want to.Give him time to work through his depression and encourage him to take his therapist suggestion and get meds for it. Good Luck.
2006-11-25 13:10:27 · answer #9 · answered by regina g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go and see him and convince him to get out of the house...he confided in you telling you about his problems, that´s a good thing....I´d try to convince him to take meds if he´s really depressed...he might be avoiding contact with everybody when he is at his worst GOOD LUCK
2006-11-25 13:06:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋