why do i hate him more?

Question

I have had two (not relationships) but courtships (flirting) men in the last few years (not at the same time)
The first one was a sex obsessed shallow sh!t but he always made me feel wanted (because he wanted any thing he could get) but I didn’t want to be with some one like that
The second was this really kind, friendly almost geeky and when I talked he actually listened to what I said rather than staring at my breasts like the first guy, but maybe because there wasn’t any sexual tension between us he became a friend to me (although he wanted more).
I lost touch with both and felt really low and instead of calling the kind caring listening one I called the **** which in my naivety I assumed would listen to me and care (but I have got to be lying to my self because I knew he would only want one thing) and I did not enjoy giving it to him.
He buggered of and I haven’t seen him since, but this is what I don’t get I saw the second one recently and he blanked me, why?

I hate him more than the **** that used me when I needed him (or maybe I used him?) I don’t even care about him because I never expected more than a sh!t, but when some one is a friend and they don’t bother to even smile doesn’t that make him worse?? But he hasn’t done any thing nearly as bad to me so why do I hate him more?

Answer 1

even tho you didnt like the guy sexually you still cared about him as a friend. it would be the same as if one of your good gf's just completely ignored you when they saw you. you hurt his feelings when you didnt want him so its understandable that he may not want to be so peach keen with you. you should justcall him up and try to salvage something

Answer 2

It feels worse because you felt closer to the one that listened to you, maybe he feels that your were only using him and he wanted more.

next time you see this nice guy in the street, stop him and talk to him, thank him for being there for you when you needed him most and offer him a drink, even if it does only stay at a friendship level but call this nice guy even when you don't want to ***** about other men, don't take advantage of him, there aren't many out there like him :)

Answer 3

Because the first guy did you wrong and hurt you, then the second guy ignored you, which hurt even more. Basically, you were already hurt when the second guy ignored you. That's why it felt worse and you hate him more. It's like you're holding him accountable for his actions as well as those of the first guy. That's not fair. Try to seperate the two and you might feel differently.

Answer 4

I've kinda been there of the guys point of view i had a friend that was a girl she was dating an a$$hole i really liked her and would of did anything for her. one day they broke up so i went for it an asked her out. but she said she wanted a break from guys and went back out with the a$$hole that night. the next day i ignored her.

the point she should have done the friend thing and said she wasn't interested. why do u hate him more hard to say u did to him first or its just karma

Answer 5

You 'hate' him more because you expected him to be there for you, despite your rejection of him, because he was a 'nice guy.'

In reality, when you reject someone, and you hurt them, which may have been the case, they will blank you.

Either he is blanking you because he knows you went back to boyfriend number one for comfort which would be a blow to his ego and possibly make him think less of you.

Or, he is blanking you because he feels led on in some way because he fancied you and you wouldn't give him what he wanted. His ego is wounded and he does not want to give you an opportunity to enroll him again when he wanted more in the first place.

Answer 6

Well believe it or not us nice guys have feelings too. He may be hurt that you essentially made him your second choice. Girls have to remember that the nice guy isn't always going to wait until the girl gets their heart broken, or cheated on, and then they finally realize that they should have chosen the nice guy. I mean it sounds like you are mad because now that you want to be nice to him that he should feel grateful. Maybe it's too late. However, if he is truly a nice guy I'm sure he will allow you to walk all over his feelings again.

Answer 7

be honest: do you hate him or are you disappointed and hurt? you probably expected him to still be your friend although you've lost touch but who knows what's going on in his mind? maybe he's hurt himself, about the rejection, about you not making an effort to maintain at least the friendship? try to understand his side as well - he'll have his reasons for ignoring you, which may just be self-protection. if you care about his friendship and want to know what's standing between you you'll have to talk to him.

Answer 8

Because you thought that (second one) he was a friend and it turned out he really wasn't cause he also wanted to get some,I say there are both sh!t.

Good riddance, I say.
move on girl you know better good for you.

Answer 9

Well Love/Hate relations are so dam close it sucks!! You dislike him more due to your lack of relations with the one you know may have been good. Sometimes we think we feel hate toward another when we actually hate the choice we made, rather than hate what we choose we hate the actuator of that choice.

Answer 10

Cause when ur like depressed, u depend on friends for a couple of monthes... and when they just disapear your lost and have alot of mixed emotions.... i know cause i went through that a few monthes ago... and i promise it get easier... just take it one day at a time! Good Luck!