he smoked...why do i feel so upset by it?

Question

My mum is a smoker and i hate it. It makes everything smell, and a few years ago, the doctor found a shadow on her lung but she never told me any more about it.For lots of reasons i hate it, and last week i was talking to my boyfriend and he said he hated it and it was horrible the first time he tried it.Then i just found out he smoked last night because i wasnt there.He said it was really coz everyone else as doing it,that it was stupid and he would never do it again,he's promised.But it just really upset me.I don't even know why it got me so mad?

Answer 1

If he was truly just experimenting and he doesn't plan on doing it again, then just let it go. There's no use in being upset over it. It probably got you so mad because you probably connect smoking with the problems that your mom faced, so it's a sensitive subject for you. Just explain how you feel and if he is willing to listen then everything is fine!

Answer 2

It's really simple, you want to be in control over others and you really need to stop that... You'll understand this when you actually get out on your own... you couldn't now because you are still a child and you don't fully understand life, in the real world outside of home there's gonna be allot worse things then that, that will bother you and there's not anything you can do except worry about yourself....

Answer 3

I think that you just answered your own question. You just said that your mother is a smoker and you hate it. So that stands the reason why you would get upset with your boyfriend.

Answer 4

well that is simple to answer. he did something that you hated. you've expressed the fact that you hate smoking. the unpleasant odor and etc. yet he does it anyways even after agreeing that it was horrible. hey if its so stupid why would he go do it in the first place? i personally dislike smoking myself and i've got a few friends that smoke. even when i hang out with them i never smoke. i just don't hang next to them when they do.

Answer 5

You're mad because you're worried of him.

One time I saw my dad smoking and I started crying and yelling for no reason. I don't know what came over me. I was just so angry. I took it out of his hands and stomped it on the floor. Lol it's kind of embarrassing if I think of it now...

Answer 6

you're mad b/c you're scared for him, thinking what happened to your mom could happen to him, and b/c you don't know if he's really truly stopped. my boyfriend drinks a little and smokes a little. i'm really worried about him, because i've seen what could happen, and he lives two hrs away, so i can't see him all that often. even so, i keep him on a somewhat of a tight rein. if you know what i mean. i do, because he tends to get/want into trouble. so yeah, anyway....i'm mad too about my bf, i feel the same as you, but i don't know what to do to get him to stop. i hope nothing happens to your bf, or to mine. i'm worried about both of ours. good luck!

Answer 7

You felt betrayed. That's why you got so angry. But be careful. You sound a bit controlling. Smoking is damaging. But you cannot make decisions for other people, like it or not.

Answer 8

because the government is controlling your mind! they got to you w/all those anti-smoking commercials! you need to realize that if it's the occasional thing, nothing bad really happens! it's only when you're a cronic smoker do you need to worry.

Answer 9

Because you liked to think of him as more..... smoke-free.
See, people like to think good of others... they think of them as pure, and clean. But when they find out otherwise..... they get upset. It's human nature.


Plus he lied to you.

Answer 10

Because you feel lied to and betrayed by his actions. Although he promised that he wouldn't do it again, deep down you don't believe him.